[Assistant]
# Letter to myself - January 14th 2025

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: January 14, 2026 12:22 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

### Write a letter to your past self giving yourself forgiveness for a time you felt like you weren't true to yourself.

It’s ok that you didn’t make those choices you were given.
I know how bad the anxiety was, and how much it feels like you don’t deserve nice things.

I know the feeling of frozen, stuck, or broken can keep you inside your head, and not take action. And to cap it off you beat yourself up about it all because your self awareness cant help itself.

I understand how frustrating it all is.

I know how many buckets of regret you’re carrying while continuing to feel bad about yourself.

Know that you are not alone in these types of feelings. You know that from therapy experiences.

Know that you are NOT to blame for anything regarding how life has turned out.

I know you don’t like where you’re at.

I know its a constant hurt, and I’m sorry things are like that for you.

I know the feeling of keeping anxiety/depression at arms length over the course of a day.

Good thing is that you have awareness of both ‘taking over.’

It feels like I’m getting better at not letting the dark side take over.

# River of emotions.

My river of emotions contains raging rapids, unexpected twists and turns, times of being submerged and not knowing when you’ll surface again… There are also calm runs of water but they are far outnumbered by the challenging runs that contain oil spills, chemical pollution, rusting cars, ovens and refrigerators.

Others don’t see or experience my river this way. They see what appears to be calm waters. That’s because my river only shows the calm sections to others. However once and a while a nasty section surfaces and others dont actually see it, but some sense something is off kilter.

When the rivers are rough, I tend to lose others intentionally to take on the obstacles myself. I keep the experience/results to myself because if I were to share what happened, first there would be disbelief because they only see calm water, not the challenges.

Furthermore, it would open a pandoras box of questions on par with the Spanish Inquisition and I don’t want to go there. Its a horrible place that I’ve been before, and it feels more like persecution, than any healing experience.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Letter to myself - January 14th 2025 2e8ffa30cf0b808eb8f0d2163be06823.md

Letter to myself - January 14th 2025


[Assistant]
# MAIWM — Episodic Framework

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: March 17, 2025 4:22 PM
Updated: March 20, 2025 5:04 PM
Project: MAIWM (../../../Projects/MAIWM%2054a6e2d86a824994a17e3c03bd907b1e.md)
My Day: No
Status: To Process
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# **Episodic Framework for Transmission-X**

## **1. Core Episode Categories**

To maintain variety and balance, structure your episodes around these rotating categories:

1. **AI & Web Development Deep Dives** – Technical explorations into AI-driven web design, automation, and practical implementation.
2. **Creative & Mental Health Conversations** – Personal reflections, artistic process, and mental health awareness.
3. **Behind-the-Scenes & Journey Updates** – Real-time updates on your *bert.forsale* platform and creative endeavors.
4. **Q&A / Community Engagement** – Answering listener/viewer questions and responding to comments.
5. **Tool & Tech Showcases** – Hands-on walkthroughs of AI, SaaS integrations, and e-commerce tools.

---

## **2. Episode Outline Structure**

Each episode can follow a consistent format to keep things engaging and structured:

**🟢 Opening (2-5 minutes)**

- Hook to grab attention (a surprising fact, personal insight, or question)
- Brief episode overview
- What’s the focus? Why does it matter?

**🟡 Main Segment (15-30 minutes, depending on depth)**

- **For Technical Deep Dives** → Step-by-step tutorials, case studies, industry insights
- **For Mental Health & Creativity** → Personal stories, guest conversations, reflections
- **For Behind-the-Scenes** → Lessons from your ongoing projects, business updates
- **For Q&A** → Community questions, personal responses
- **For Tool Showcases** → Demo, best practices, pros/cons

**🔴 Closing (3-5 minutes)**

- Key takeaways
- Call to action (subscribe, comment, visit *bert.forsale*, join the conversation)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/MAIWM — Episodic Framework 1b9ffa30cf0b8041b0d5c65a4601a108.md

MAIWM — Episodic Framework


[Assistant]
# Mark Manson - Life Advice that Doesn't Suck

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: blog post idea
URL: https://markmanson.net/
Created: January 7, 2026 10:48 AM
Updated: February 2, 2026 7:02 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Mark Manson - Life Advice that Doesn't Suck 924b5242ff06443d8c2a810d4d34f321.md


[Assistant]
# Metaphor cooking

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: July 6, 2025 8:03 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

Thinking of someone’s progress in terms of awareness and ability to be obtained some people it happens like a microwave meal some people it’s like a regular cooking process for show you’re in the crockpot all day and even further sun putting the ground with the cold to go overnight

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Metaphor cooking 229ffa30cf0b8006812dfa01e669130e.md

Metaphor cooking


[Assistant]
# Music License—Intro - Outro

Favorite: Yes
Archived: No
Type: YouTube
Created: January 19, 2026 7:26 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 7:02 PM
Tag: license for media (https://www.notion.so/license-for-media-2eeffa30cf0b8044acd7f79ae5e03560?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 07-Significant

Ambient Drone - 895670-4560979 by CVLTIV8R.wav by CVLTIV8R -- [https://freesound.org/s/799318/](https://freesound.org/s/799318/) -- License: Creative Commons 0

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Music License—Intro - Outro 2eeffa30cf0b80468c8ff11beea3e51c.md

Music License—Intro - Outro


[Assistant]
# My meta description for content posting.

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Metadata
Created: June 29, 2025 4:39 PM
Updated: July 17, 2025 7:03 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: To Process
Value: 05-Moderate Value

Sons, brother, cousin, nephew, boyfriend, fiance, husband, father, coach, mentor, married, divorced, unemployed, homeless, depressed, suicidal, anxious, fearful, isolated, exiled, alone, hospitalized, mental hospitals, healing, suffering, integrating, invisible, meditating, reflecting, gratitude, empathy, compassion, vibration, grounded, lived wisdom. #woundedhealer #woundedcreator

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/My meta description for content posting 221ffa30cf0b804fbe65dd35b488f841.md

My meta description for content posting.


[Assistant]
# New Subscriber Email

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: January 7, 2026 10:56 AM
Updated: February 2, 2026 7:01 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

## Welcome Email - New Subscriber Draft

---

**Subject Line Options:**

1. Welcome to Barely, But Here
2. **Thanks for being here**
3. You're in — welcome to Barely, But Here

**Recommendation:** Option 2 (most aligned with your voice—direct, warm, no performance)

---

**Email Body:**

---

Thanks for subscribing to Barely, But Here.

I'm Bert, and I write about living with invisible depression, dissociation, and what remains after the life I spent 50+ years building fell apart.

This isn't self-help or polished storytelling. It's honest documentation of survival—the kind that doesn't get shared because it's messy, uncomfortable, and hard to name.

**What you'll receive:**

Essays, stories, and reflections on mental health, grief, masculinity, and meaning-making. Some pieces are raw. Some are analytical. All are shared with thought and care.

I publish when there's something worth saying—no content calendar, no filler.

**Where to start:**

If you want context for what this space is about, start here:
• [Link to your channel intro or first essay]
• [Link to Reflections on 2025]
• [Link to Day 01 hospital diary, when published]

You can also browse the full archive anytime on the site.

**A quick reminder:**

I'm not a therapist. This is only my experience being shared. If you're in crisis, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or visit 988lifeline.org.

If you've ever felt unseen, emotionally offline, or quietly overwhelmed while life kept moving—you're not alone.

I'm glad you're here.

Be well,

Bert

---

P.S. If you know someone who might benefit from this work, feel free to forward this or share the site. Word of mouth matters.

---

**Alternative Shorter Version** (if you prefer minimal):

---

Thanks for subscribing to Barely, But Here.

I'm Bert. I write about living with invisible depression, dissociation, and what remains after everything fell apart.

This isn't self-help. It's honest documentation of survival—the kind that rarely gets shared because it's messy and hard to name.

You'll receive essays, stories, and reflections on mental health, grief, and meaning-making when there's something worth saying. No content calendar. No filler.

**Where to start:**
• [Link to channel intro]
• [Link to Reflections on 2025]

I'm not a therapist—this is only my experience. If you're in crisis: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline | Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

If you've felt unseen, emotionally offline, or quietly overwhelmed while life kept moving—you're not alone.

I'm glad you're here.

Be well,

Bert

---

**Technical Notes:**

- **Timing:** Send immediately upon subscription (automated welcome sequence)
- **From name:** "Bert from Barely, But Here" or just "Bert"
- **Reply-to:** Your email (if you want engagement) or no-reply (if you don't)

**Questions:**

1. Do you want to include a **paid subscription CTA** at the end, or keep this purely welcoming?
2. Should the **"Where to start"** section have 2-3 links, or is that overwhelming for a welcome email?
3. Tone check: Does **"I'm glad you're here"** feel right, or too warm/presumptive?

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/New Subscriber Email 2e1ffa30cf0b804da249f88e2338b767.md

New Subscriber Email


[Assistant]
# Outro—Recorded

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Script
Created: May 5, 2025 12:58 AM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:31 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

### 🎧 Holding On—Anyway: Outro Script

Thank you for being here, dear listener.

If this episode struck a chord—or stayed with you—

helped you feel a little less alone,

or brought you closer to someone you care about—

**Please consider liking, subscribing, or sharing it** with someone who might benefit.

It really helps more people find these conversations.

And if something in this episode resonated,

I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

This episode was created from my own lived experience.

It’s not here to diagnose or treat, but to create empathy.

**If you're in crisis**, please reach out

to your local mental health services

or a suicide prevention hotline.

I’ve called the hotline myself before.

They were kind, they listened—

and they helped me through a storm.

That’s the hope behind *Holding On—Anyway*:

To remind those struggling that **you are not alone**,

and to help those who love them understand what mental health really feels like.

I'm **Bert**—creator and producer of this series, soup to nuts.

**Be well. And until next time,**

this was *Holding On—Anyway*.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Outro—Recorded 1eaffa30cf0b80e6a40cc219eced2f52.md

Outro—Recorded


[Assistant]
# Outro—Sign Off Text Scripts — For Templates

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Template
Created: May 3, 2025 12:12 AM
Updated: June 6, 2025 8:55 PM
Tag: templates (https://www.notion.so/templates-6d510298cd5242ecad891769e7aceaf3?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Template
Value: 07-Significant

## **🎥 YouTube Video Description Version**

### 🎧 Thank you for spending your time and attention here.

### If this episode helped you feel seen, heard, a little less alone or
brought you closer to someone you care about —
please consider **liking**, **subscribing**, and **sharing** it
with someone who might need it too.

### 💬 If this episode resonated,
I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Your stories and reflections help keep this space alive.
Please keep it real and kind.

I’d also love to hear your reflections — feel free to leave a comment or send a message. Your voice is welcome here.

### This channel and its stories are grounded in lived experience

and shaped quietly with the help of Mika — my AI collaborator, who helps me organize my words on things I feel, but don’t always know how to say.

### If you are in a bad space and need someone to talk to, check out the show notes.
There are people who can really help—they helped me.

### Until next time,

### this Bert
and this was *Holding On* — anyway.

## Podcast Show Notes Version

Thank you so much for listening.

If this episode helped you feel seen, heard, or just a little less alone,

I hope you’ll take a moment to **follow the show**, **leave a review**, or **share it** with someone who might need it too.

💬 I’d also love to hear your reflections — feel free to leave a comment or send a message. Your voice is welcome here.

This space is rooted in lived experience, and co-created with the quiet help of Mika,

my AI collaborator who helps me shape language around what’s often hard to say out loud.

Until next time,

this was *Holding On* — anyway.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Outro—Sign Off Text Scripts — For Templates 1e8ffa30cf0b80c4b303c635575f4e18.md


[Assistant]
# Patreon Script — short version too

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: February 9, 2025 8:01 PM
Updated: February 9, 2025 8:06 PM
Tag: scripts (https://www.notion.so/scripts-196ffa30cf0b80848027cb6016611735?pvs=21)
Project: MAIWM (../../../Projects/MAIWM%2054a6e2d86a824994a17e3c03bd907b1e.md)
My Day: No
Status: To Process
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# **🚀 Universal Patreon Promo Script**

*(Works for YouTube, Podcast, Website, Social Media, etc.)*

**[Opening Hook – Why Patreon?]**

*“If you’ve been getting value from my content—whether it’s the YouTube videos, the podcast, or the behind-the-scenes look at building an AI-powered business—this is your chance to be part of the journey in a bigger way.”*

**[What’s in it for them?]**

*“I just launched my **Patreon**, where you can support the work I’m doing while getting exclusive content and deeper insights.”*

*“Depending on the tier you choose, you’ll get perks like early access to podcast episodes, bonus content, AI tools and templates, private Q&As, and even direct mentorship if you want one-on-one guidance.”*

**[Why Support?]**

*“Your support helps me keep creating, experimenting, and sharing everything I learn about AI, automation, and building online businesses. More than that, it helps build a community of people who want to learn and grow together.”*

**[Call to Action]**

*“So, if you’re ready to dive deeper and want to support what I’m building, check out **Patreon.com/[yourpatreonname]**—or hit the link in the description/show notes.”*

*“Thanks for being part of this journey. Let’s keep pushing forward together!”*

**🔥 Bonus Tip:**

If using this in a video or podcast, **add a visual/audio cue** at the call-to-action (like an on-screen graphic or background music shift) to make it stand out.

Would you like a **shorter version** for quick mentions inside your content? 🚀

---

# **📢 Short Patreon Mention (For Mid-Roll or Quick CTA)**

*“Hey, if you’re enjoying this and want to go deeper, check out my Patreon at **Patreon.com/[yourpatreonname]**. You’ll get early access, bonus content, and exclusive AI tools to help you build smarter. Your support helps keep this going—hit the link in the description!”*

🔹 **Why this works:**

✅ Quick and to the point (under 15 seconds)

✅ Highlights **why** they should join (bonus content + AI tools)

✅ Strong CTA without feeling pushy

**💡 Where to Use This:**

🔹 Mid-roll in **YouTube videos & podcasts** (“By the way, if you want more…”)

🔹 Text overlay or pinned comment on YouTube

🔹 Quick callout in **Instagram/Twitter posts or threads**

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Patreon Script — short version too 196ffa30cf0b808083a0cba1645411e3.md

Patreon Script — short version too


[Assistant]
# Power Words for Content

Favorite: Yes
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: March 19, 2025 5:41 PM
Updated: March 22, 2025 10:26 PM
Project: berchman.com (../../../Projects/berchman%20com%20185ffa30cf0b8012b13cd105176bd92b.md), bertmahoney.com (../../../Projects/bertmahoney%20com%20164ffa30cf0b807cb8acebf70483551b.md), MAIWM (../../../Projects/MAIWM%2054a6e2d86a824994a17e3c03bd907b1e.md)
My Day: No
Status: To Process
Value: 05-Moderate Value

| A Cut Above | Absolute | Absolutely Lowest |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Absolutely | Absurd | Abuse |
| Accurate | Accuse | Achieve |
| Actionable | Adaptable | Adequate |
| Admit | Adorable | Advantage |
| Advice | Affordable | Aggravate |
| Aggressive | Agitated | Agonizing |
| Agony | Alarmed | Alarming |
| Alienated | Aligned | All-inclusive |
| Alluring | Always | Amazing |
| Amp | Animated | Annihilate |
| Announcing | Anonymous | Antagonistic |
| Anxious | Apocalypse | Appalled |
| Approved | Approving | Argumentative |
| Armageddon | Arrogant | Ass Kicking |
| Assault | Assured | Astonishing |
| Astounded | Astounding | At Ease |
| Atrocious | Attractive | Audacity |
| Authentic | Authoritative | Authority |
| Aware | Awe-inspiring | Awesome |
| Awkward | Backbone | Backdoor |
| Backed | Backlash | Backstabbing |
| Badass | Balanced | Banned |
| Bargain | Barrage | Basic |
| Battle | Beaming | Beat Down |
| Beating | Beautiful | Beauty |
| Begging | Behind The Scenes | Belief |
| Best-selling | Best | Better |
| Beware | Big | Billion |
| Black Market | Blacklisted | Blast |
| Blessed | Blinded | Blissful |
| Blood | Bloodbath | Bloodcurdling |
| Bloody | Blunder | Blushing |
| Bold | Bomb | Bona Fide |
| Bonanza | Bonus | Bootleg |
| Bottom Line | Bountiful | Brave |
| Bravery | Brazen | Break |
| Breaking | Breakthrough | Breathtaking |
| Bright | Brilliant | Broke |
| Brutal | Budget | Buffoon |
| Bullshit | Bully | Bumbling |
| Buy | Cadaver | Calm |
| Cancel Anytime | Capable | Captivate |
| Captivating | Carefree | Case Study |
| Cash | Cataclysmic | Catapult |
| Catastrophe | Caution | Censored |
| Centered | Certain | Certainly |
| Certified | Challenge | Charming |
| Cheap | Cheat-sheet | Cheat |
| Cheer | Cheerful | Child-like |
| Clarity | Classified | Clear |
| Clueless | Collapse | Colorful |
| Colossal | Comfortable | Compare |
| Competitive | Complete | Completely |
| Completeness | Comprehensive | Compromise |
| Compulsive | Concealed | Conclusive |
| Condemning | Condescending | Confess |
| Confession | Confessions | Confident |
| Confidential | Conquer | Conscientious |
| Constructive | Content | Contrary |
| Controlling | Controversial | Convenient |
| Convert | Cooperative | Copy |
| Corpse | Corrupt | Corrupting |
| Courage | Courageous | Cover-up |
| Covert | Coward | Cowardly |
| Crammed | Crave | Crazy |
| Creative | Cringeworthy | Cripple |
| Crisis | Critical | Crooked |
| Crush | Crushing | Damaging |
| Danger | Dangerous | Daring |
| Dazzling | Dead | Deadline |
| Deadly | Death | Decadent |
| Deceived | Deceptive | Defiance |
| Definitely | Definitive | Defying |
| Dejected | Delicious | Delight |
| Delighted | Delightful | Delirious |
| Delivered | Deplorable | Depraved |
| Desire | Desperate | Despicable |
| Destiny | Destroy | Detailed |
| Devastating | Devoted | Diagnosed |
| Direct | Dirty | Disadvantages |
| Disastrous | Discount | Discover |
| Disdainful | Disempowered | Disgusted |
| Disgusting | Dishonest | Disillusioned |
| Disoriented | Distracted | Distraught |
| Distressed | Distrustful | Divulge |
| Document | Dollar | Doomed |
| Double | Doubtful | Download |
| Dreadful | Dreamy | Drive |
| Drowning | Dumb | Dynamic |
| Eager | Earnest | Easily |
| Easy | Economical | Ecstatic |
| Edge | Effective | Efficient |
| Effortless | Elated | Eliminate |
| Elite | Embarrass | Embarrassed |
| Emergency | Emerging | Emphasize |
| Empowered | Enchant | Encouraged |
| Endorsed | Energetic | Energy |
| Enormous | Enraged | Enthusiastic |
| Epic | Epidemic | Essential |
| Ethical | Euphoric | Evil |
| Exactly | Exasperated | Excellent |
| Excited | Excitement | Exciting |
| Exclusive | Exclusivity | Excruciating |
| Exhilarated | Expensive | Expert |
| Explode | Exploit | Explosive |
| Exposed | Exquisite | Extra |
| Extraordinary | Extremely | Exuberant |
| Eye-opening | Fail-proof | Fail |
| Failure | Faith | Famous |
| Fantasy | Fascinating | Fatigued |
| Faux Pas | Fearless | Feast |
| Feeble | Festive | Fierce |
| Fight | Final | Fine |
| Fired | First Ever | First |
| Flirt | Fluid | Focus |
| Focused | Fool | Fooled |
| Foolish | Forbidden | Force-fed |
| Forever | Forgiving | Forgotten |
| Formula | Fortune | Foul |
| Frantic | Free | Freebie |
| Freedom | Frenzied | Frenzy |
| Frightening | Frisky | Frugal |
| Frustrated | Fulfill | Fulfilled |
| Full | Fully | Fun-loving |
| Fundamentals | Funniest | Funny |
| Furious | Gambling | Gargantuan |
| Genius | Genuine | Gift |
| Gigantic | Giveaway | Glamorous |
| Gleeful | Glorious | Glowing |
| Gorgeous | Graceful | Grateful |
| Gratified | Gravity | Greatest |
| Greatness | Greed | Greedy |
| Grit | Grounded | Growth |
| Guaranteed | Guilt-free | Guilt |
| Gullible | Guts | Hack |
| Happiness | Happy | Harmful |
| Harsh | Hate | Have You Heard |
| Havoc | Hazardous | Healthy |
| Heart | Heartbreaking | Heartwarming |
| Heavenly | Helpful | Helplessness |
| Hero | Hesitant | Hidden |
| High Tech | Highest | Highly Effective |
| Hilarious | Hoak | Hoax |
| Holocaust | Honest | Honored |
| Hope | Hopeful | Horrific |
| Horror | Hostile | How To |
| Huge | Humility | Humor |
| Hurricane | Hurry | Hypnotic |
| Idiot | Ignite | Illegal |
| Illusive | Imagination | Immediately |
| Imminently | Impatience | Impatient |
| Impenetrable | Important | Improved |
| In The Zone | Incapable | Incapacitated |
| Incompetent | Inconsiderate | Increase |
| Incredible | Indecisive | Indulgence |
| Indulgent | Inexpensive | Inferior |
| Informative | Infuriated | Ingredients |
| Innocent | Innovative | Insane |
| Insecure | Insider | Insider |
| Insidious | Inspired | Inspiring |
| Instant Savings | Instantly | Instructive |
| Intel | Intelligent | Intense |
| Interesting | Intriguing | Introducing |
| Invasion | Investment | Iron-clad |
| Ironclad | Irresistible | Irs |
| Jackpot | Jail | Jaw-dropping |
| Jealous | Jeopardy | Jittery |
| Jovial | Joyous | Jubilant |
| Judgmental | Jumpstart | Just Arrived |
| Keen | Kickass | Kickstart |
| Know It All | Lame | Largest |
| Lascivious | Last Chance | Last Minute |
| Last | Latest | Laugh |
| Laughing | Launch | Launching |
| Lavishly | Lawsuit | Left Behind |
| Legendary | Legitimate | Liberal |
| Liberated | Lick | Lies |
| Life-changing | Lifetime | Light |
| Lighthearted | Likely | Limited |
| Literally | Little-known | Loathsome |
| Lonely | Looming | Loser |
| Lost | Love | Lunatic |
| Lurking | Lust | Luxurious |
| Luxury | Lying | Magic |
| Magical | Magnificent | Mainstream |
| Malicious | Mammoth | Manipulative |
| Marked Down | Massive | Maul |
| Mediocre | Meditative | Meltdown |
| Memorability | Memorable | Menacing |
| Mesmerizing | Meticulous | Mind-blowing |
| Minimalist | Miracle | Mired |
| Mischievous | Misgiving | Missing Out |
| Mistake | Monetize | Money |
| Moneyback | Moneygrubbing | Monumental |
| Most Important | Motivated | Mouth-watering |
| Murder | Mystery | Nail |
| Naked | Natural | Naughty |
| Nazi | Nest Egg | Never |
| New | Nightmare | No Good |
| No Obligation | No One Talks About | No Questions Asked |
| No Risk | No Strings Attached | Non-controlling |
| Noted | Novelty | Now |
| Obnoxious | Obsessed | Obsession |
| Obvious | Odd | Off-kilter |
| Off-limits | Off-the Record | Offensive |
| Official | Okay | On-demand |
| Open-minded | Opportunities | Optimistic |
| Ordeal | Outlawed | Outrageousness |
| Outstanding | Overcome | Overjoyed |
| Overnight | Overwhelmed | Painful |
| Painless | Painstaking | Pale |
| Panic | Panicked | Paralyzed |
| Passionate | Pathetic | Pay Zero |
| Payback | Peril | Perplexed |
| Perspective | Pessimistic | Pioneering |
| Piranha | Pitfall | Pitiful |
| Placid | Plague | Played |
| Playful | Pleased | Pluck |
| Plummet | Plunge | Poison |
| Poisonous | Poor | Popular |
| Portfolio | Pound | Powerful |
| Powerless | Practical | Preposterous |
| Prestige | Price | Priceless |
| Pride | Prison | Privacy |
| Private | Privileged | Prize |
| Productive | Professional | Profit |
| Profitable | Profound | Promiscuous |
| Promising | Promote | Protect |
| Protected | Proven | Provocative |
| Provoke | Psychological | Pummel |
| Punch | Punish | Pus |
| Quadruple | Quality | Quarrelsome |
| Quick-start | Quick | Quickly |
| Quiet | Radiant | Rare |
| Ravenous | Rebellious | Recession-proof |
| Reckoning | Recognized | Recommend |
| Recreate | Reduced | Reflective |
| Refugee | Refund | Refundable |
| Reject | Relaxed | Release |
| Reliable | Remarkable | Replicate |
| Report | Reprimanding | Repulsed |
| Repulsive | Research | Resentful |
| Resourceful | Responsible | Responsive |
| Rested | Restricted | Results |
| Retaliating | Reveal | Revealing |
| Revenge | Revengeful | Revisited |
| Revolting | Revolutionary | Reward |
| Rich | Ridiculous | Risky |
| Riveting | Rookie | Rowdy |
| Ruin | Rules | Ruthless |
| Sabotaging | Sacred | Sadistic |
| Sadly | Sadness | Safe |
| Safety | Sale | Sampler |
| Sarcastic | Satisfied | Savage |
| Savagery | Save | Savings |
| Savvy | Scam | Scandal |
| Scandalous | Scarce | Scared |
| Scary | Scornful | Scream |
| Searing | Secret Agenda | Secret Plot |
| Secret | Secrets | Secure |
| Security | Seductive | Seething |
| Seize | Selected | Self-hating |
| Self-sufficient | Sensational | Senseless |
| Sensual | Serene | Severe |
| Sex | Sexy | Shaking |
| Shameful | Shameless | Shaming |
| Shatter | Shellacking | Shocking |
| Should | Shrewd | Sick And Tired |
| Signs | Silly | Simple |
| Simplicity | Simplified | Simplistic |
| Sincere | Sinful | Sins |
| Six-figure | Sizable | Skill |
| Skyrocket | Slaughter | Slave |
| Sleazy | Sleeping | Sly |
| Smash | Smiling | Smug |
| Smuggled | Sneak-peek | Sneaky |
| Sniveling | Snob | Snooty |
| Snotty | Soar | Soaring |
| Solid | Solution | Spank |
| Special | Spectacular | Speedy |
| Spell-binding | Spine | Spirit |
| Spirited | Spiteful | Spoiler |
| Spontaneous | Spotlight | Spunky |
| Squirming | Stable | Staggering |
| Startling | Steady | Stealthy |
| Steamy | Step-by-step | Still |
| Stoic | Strange | Strangle |
| Strategy | Stressed | Strong |
| Strongly Suggest | Struggle | Stuck Up |
| Studies | Stunning | Stupid-simple |
| Stupid | Sturdy | Sublime |
| Succeed | Success | Successful |
| Suck | Suddenly | Suffer |
| Sunny | Super-human | Superb |
| Supercharge | Superior | Supported |
| Supportive | Sure Fire | Sure |
| Surefire | Surge | Surging |
| Surprise | Surprised | Surprising |
| Survival | Survive | Suspicious |
| Sweaty | Swoon-worthy | Swoon |
| Tailspin | Tank | Tantalizing |
| Targeted | Tawdry | Tease |
| Technology | Teetering | Tempting |
| Tenacious | Tense | Terrible |
| Terrific | Terrified | Terrifying |
| Terror | Terrorist | Tested |
| Thankful | The Truth | Threaten |
| Threatened | Thrilled | Thrilling |
| Thug | Ticked Off | Tickled |
| Timely | Today | Torture |
| Toxic | Track Record | Trade Secret |
| Tragedy | Tragic | Transform |
| Transparency | Trap | Trapped |
| Trauma | Treacherous | Treasure |
| Tremendous | Trend | Tricks |
| Triggers | Triple | Triumph |
| Truly | Trusting | Trustworthy |
| Truth | Truthful | Turbo-charge |
| Tweaks | Twitching | Ultimate |
| Unadulterated | Unassuming | Unauthorized |
| Unbelievable | Unburdened | Uncaring |
| Uncensored | Uncertain | Uncomfortable |
| Unconditional | Uncontrollable | Unconventional |
| Uncovered | Undeniable | Under Priced |
| Undercover | Underground | Underhanded |
| Underused | Unexpected | Unforgettable |
| Unheard Of | Unhurried | Uninterested |
| Unique | Unjustified | Unknowingly |
| Unleashed | Unlimited | Unlock |
| Unparalleled | Unreliable | Unresponsive |
| Unseen | Unstable | Unstoppable |
| Unsure | Unsurpassed | Untapped |
| Unusual | Up-sell | Upbeat |
| Uplifted | Uplifting | Urge |
| Urgent | Useful | Useless |
| Validate | Valor | Valuable |
| Value | Vanquish | Vaporize |
| Venomous | Verify | Vibrant |
| Vicious | Victim | Victory |
| Vigorous | Vilified | Vindictive |
| Violated | Violent | Volatile |
| Vulnerable | Waiting | Wanted |
| Wanton | Warning | Waste |
| Weak | Wealth | Weird |
| What No One Tells You | Whip | Whopping |
| Wicked | Wild | Willpower |
| Withheld | Wonderful | Wondrous |
| Woozy | World | Worry |
| Worst | Worthwhile | Wounded |
| Wreaking | Youthful | Zen |
| Zinger | Kill | Kills |
| Killed | Killing | Sizzle |
| Sizzles | Sizzled | Sizzling |
| Sizzlingly | Turbocharges | Turbo-charge |
| Challenge | Discover | Crave |
| Unpopular | Impressive | Embarrassing |
| Sensational | Sinful | Zen |
| Surprising | Alive | Odd |
| Ravenous | Lazy | Avoid |
| Demoralizing | Problem | Horrifying |
| Attack | Traumatized | Insult |
| Horribly | Hell | Relentless |
| Master | Perfect | Super |
| Create | Packed | Deep |
| Gripping | Cool | Seriously |
| Envy | Lucrative | Steal |
| Bona | Fide | Masterclass |
| Faux | Pas | Belong |
| Stop | Polarizing | Dominate |
| Is Here | Smuggle | Great |
| Fun |  |  |

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Power Words for Content 1bbffa30cf0b807ea854ea0325061d42.md

Power Words for Content


[Assistant]
# Product Development: Talk about how you’re developing new products like notecards and how you’re deciding on themes, designs, and packaging.

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Created: August 13, 2024 1:41 PM
Updated: September 19, 2025 10:40 AM
Project: MAIWM (../../../Projects/MAIWM%2054a6e2d86a824994a17e3c03bd907b1e.md)
My Day: Yes
Status: On Hold
Urgency: 01—Future
Value: 06-High Value

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Product Development Talk about how you’re developi 500f51ad8e4b4b5d9fc7a0b620b85974.md

Product Development: Talk about how you’re developing new products like notecards and how you’re deciding on themes, designs, and packaging.


[Assistant]
# Prompt set 04 — Recording batch

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Prompts
Created: May 4, 2025 3:01 PM
Updated: May 4, 2025 11:00 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Done
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# 🎙 Prompt Set #4 — Recording Batch

---

## 🖤 Barely, but here — “The Cup I Didn’t Finish”

- Was there a moment where even finishing something simple — like a cup of coffee — felt impossible?
- What were the thoughts looping in your mind at the time?
- Did you notice what stopped you? Or did it just slip away?
- What made you realize you were still here anyway?

---

## 🔥 Holding On, Anyway — “Surviving the ‘You Should Be Over This’ Phase”

- When people around you expected you to feel better — how did that feel?
- Did you try to perform recovery for others?
- What does it feel like when your pain outlasts other people’s patience?
- How did you stay alive through that part?

---

## 🌒 Reflections — “The Grief of Becoming Someone New”

- Healing changes us — sometimes faster than we can accept.
- What parts of you got left behind in recovery?
- Do you ever mourn your old self, even if they were hurting?
- What’s something you’ve learned to love about who you are now?

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Prompt set 04 — Recording batch 1e9ffa30cf0b80efa38dda2e76dfbf5d.md

Prompt set 04 — Recording batch


[Assistant]
# Prompts 3

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Prompts
Created: April 30, 2025 3:23 PM
Updated: May 4, 2025 11:01 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Done
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# 🎙 Next Recording Prompt Sets

---

## 🖤 Reflections Episode — "Grieving The Life You Thought You'd Have"

- What dreams or expectations for your life did you have to let go of?
- Was there a moment you realized the "old plan" was gone?
- How did that grief show up? (Anger, sadness, numbness?)
- What do you understand now about grief for an unlived life?

---

## 🔥 Holding On, Anyway (HOA) Deep Dive — "When Asking For Help Felt Impossible"

- Talk about a time when you needed help but couldn’t bring yourself to ask.
- What fears held you back from reaching out?
- How did isolation affect your survival journey?
- If someone listening feels trapped by pride or fear, what would you want them to hear?

---

## 🎙 Barely, but here Mini — "The Morning I Didn’t Recognize Myself in the Mirror"

- Describe a morning when you looked in the mirror and didn’t know who you were anymore.
- What did you see — physically, emotionally?
- What small thing pulled you back toward yourself, even a little?

---

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Prompts 3 1e5ffa30cf0b80e895d4e1a7f08ecea6.md

Prompts 3


[Assistant]
# Publishing Templates All Formats

Favorite: Yes
Archived: No
Type: Template
Created: January 9, 2026 6:35 PM
Updated: January 31, 2026 9:48 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Template
Value: 10-Mission Critical

## **FORMATTING SPEC UPDATED**

### **Added to Standard Template:**

**Top of Every Substack Post:**

- Format note (lightly edited transcript)
- Content warning (your custom blend)
- Medical disclaimer (with "not medical advice" + "don't substitute" language)
- Crisis resources
- Links to other formats (Watch | Listen | Read)

**Bottom of Every Substack Post:**

- Crisis resources (repeated)
- Medical disclaimer (short version)
- CTAs: Support (paid sub) + Share (forward/link)

**YouTube:**

- Text overlay warning (8-10 seconds, silent, Radiohead aesthetic)
- Full warning + disclaimer in description
- Crisis resources in description

**Podcast:**

- Spoken intro (45 seconds, every episode)
- Full warning + disclaimer in episode description
- Crisis resources in description

---

# **SUBSTACK TEXT VERSION** (Top of Post - In Callout Box)

---

```
**Before You Read**.
**Content Warning:** This discusses depression, anxiety, dissociation, psychiatric hospitalization, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and divorce. I go deep on the ugly parts of the human condition. While it may be hard to digest at times—that's why I'm doing this. If you're not ready for raw talk on these topics, not a problem. This may not be the right time, and that is ok. That's why I have this text here so you may make an informed decision. Be well and thanks.

**Medical Disclaimer:** I'm not a doctor, nurse, or psychiatrist. I'm a guy sharing what I lived through and my reflections on that lived experience. This is not medical advice. Don't use this as a substitute for professional care. If you're struggling, please seek professional help.

**Crisis Resources:** If you're in crisis: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline | Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

**Other Formats:**
📹 Watch: [YouTube Link]
🎧 Listen: [Podcast Link]
📄 Read: You're here

```

---

## **SUBSTACK TEXT VERSION** (Bottom of Post)

```
---

⚠ **Crisis Resources**
If you're in crisis: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline | Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

**Medical Disclaimer**
I'm not a therapist or medical professional. This is only my experience being shared.

---

**Support This Work**
If this resonates and you're able, consider a paid subscription. It keeps this work honest, human, and ongoing.

[Become a paid subscriber]

**Share This**
If you know someone who might benefit, please forward this or share the link. Word of mouth matters.

```

---

## **YOUTUBE VIDEO** (Text Overlay - 8-10 seconds on screen)

```
⚠ CONTENT WARNING

This video discusses depression, psychiatric hospitalization,
suicidal ideation, homelessness, and divorce.

I go deep on the ugly parts of the human condition.

If you're not ready for that right now, that's ok.

---

I'm not a doctor or therapist.
This is my lived experience only.

Crisis resources: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

```

**Visual style:** White text on dark background, muted/serious tone, your Radiohead aesthetic (desaturated, simple, no music)

---

## **YOUTUBE DESCRIPTION** (Always Include)

```
⚠ CONTENT WARNING: This video discusses depression, anxiety, dissociation, psychiatric hospitalization, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and divorce. I go deep on the ugly parts of the human condition. If you're not ready for raw talk on these topics right now, that's completely ok.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: I'm not a doctor, nurse, or psychiatrist. This is my lived experience and reflections only. This is not medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for professional care.

---

[YOUR EPISODE DESCRIPTION HERE]

---

🔗 LINKS:
• Read the transcript on Substack: [LINK]
• Listen on podcast: [LINK]

⚠ CRISIS RESOURCES:
If you're in crisis, please reach out:
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Visit: 988lifeline.org

---

Next video: [NEXT EPISODE TITLE]

#MentalHealth #Depression #PsychiatricHospital #MentalHealthAwareness

```

---

## **PODCAST AUDIO** (Spoken Intro - Every Episode - 45 seconds)

**Script:**

"Before we begin, a few things. This episode discusses depression, anxiety, dissociation, psychiatric hospitalization, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and divorce. I go deep on the ugly parts of the human condition. If you're not ready for raw talk on these topics right now, that's ok. You can come back when you are.

I'm not a doctor, nurse, or psychiatrist. I'm a guy sharing what I lived through and my reflections on that experience. This is not medical advice and shouldn't be used as a substitute for professional care.

If you're in crisis, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org.

Alright. Let's go."

---

## **PODCAST DESCRIPTION** (Episode Notes - Always Include)

```
⚠ CONTENT WARNING and MEDICAL DISCLAIMER at the bottom/end of this description.
---

[YOUR EPISODE DESCRIPTION HERE]

---

CRISIS RESOURCES
If you're in crisis:
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Visit: 988lifeline.org

---

OTHER FORMATS
📹 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@barely_but_here
📖 Read the transcript: https://berchman.substack.com

CONNECT
Subscribe to Barely, But Here: [LINK]

---

⚠ CONTENT WARNING
This episode discusses depression, anxiety, dissociation, psychiatric hospitalization, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and divorce. I go deep on the ugly parts of the human condition. If you're not ready for that right now, that's ok.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
I'm not a doctor, nurse, or psychiatrist. This is my lived experience only. This is not medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for professional care.

```

---

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Publishing Templates All Formats 2e3ffa30cf0b80edadb4c7c810db43fc.md

Publishing Templates All Formats


[Assistant]
# Ready-Made Hashtag List for Mental Health Content

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: August 6, 2025 4:55 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 6:58 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# 🎯 Ready-Made Hashtag List for Mental Health Content

## 🧠 Depression

- #Depression
- #LivingWithDepression
- #DepressionStruggles
- #MajorDepression
- #MentalHealthMatters

## ☠ Suicidal Ideation

- #SuicidalIdeation
- #SuicidalThoughts
- #MentalHealthCrisis
- #YouAreNotAlone
- #DontGiveUp
- #TalkAboutSuicide

## 🌪 Isolation

- #DepressionAndIsolation
- #FeelingLonely
- #SocialWithdrawal
- #AloneWithDepression
- #MentalHealthIsolation

## 🌫 Dissociation

- #Dissociation
- #EmotionalNumbness
- #FeelingDisconnected
- #DetachedFromReality
- #DissociationAndDepression

## 🌑 Dark Times

- #DarkTimes
- #DeepDepression
- #Hopelessness
- #FeelingEmpty
- #HardToHoldOn
- #StrugglingInside

## ✅ Bonus: Universal Mental Health Hashtags

- #MentalHealthAwareness
- #HealingJourney
- #MentalHealthSupport
- #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay
- #BreakTheStigma
- #MentalHealthRecovery

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Ready-Made Hashtag List for Mental Health Content 247ffa30cf0b8087bf07d5113d7491e8.md


[Assistant]
# SHOW NOTES Template

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Template
Created: April 22, 2025 11:39 PM
Updated: May 8, 2025 5:40 PM
Tag: notes (https://www.notion.so/notes-199ffa30cf0b8013878fc46ce1155366?pvs=21), templates (https://www.notion.so/templates-6d510298cd5242ecad891769e7aceaf3?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Template
Value: 04-Suportive

DESCRIPTION

Living with suicidal thoughts — but not wanting to die — is a quiet, honest reflection of mental pain that isn’t easy to talk about — but needs to be heard.

The experience of waking up inside the pain of depression and suicidal ideation — and surviving it.

In this episode, I talk about:

- The difference between wanting to die vs. wanting the pain to stop
- How suicidal ideation can feel like tunnel vision
- Why staying is sometimes an act of courage, not comfort

For four decades, I’ve lived with the kind of thoughts that don’t always want death — just silence, stillness, relief.

This is what it feels like to carry those thoughts through a full life of parenting, partnership, loss, and silence.

If you’ve ever whispered “I just want it to stop” — this episode is for you.

You're not alone. I'm glad you're here.

---

🙏 If this helped, hit like & subscribe.

Subscribing costs nothing and makes these videos show up for more people. New episodes coming every week.
Comment your story or message below. I read them.

---

💬 Leave a comment below.

I read them, and your reflections help keep this space human and alive.

---

➡ This is not therapy advice.

Just my lived experience, shared in case it helps someone else feel a little less alone. There are links below where you can find people who can help. I’ve called, they are really cool and helpful.

---

🧠 Need help?

You’re not alone. Please reach out.
Links to support resources are below.
You matter.

---

📌 Chapters

00:00 Intro: Holding On Anyway
00:45 What Suicidal Thinking *Really* Feels Like
02:30 It's Not About Dying — It's About Escaping the Pain
04:50 The Day I Almost Left
05:45 Why I Stay
07:10 What I Wish People Understood
08:20 You Are Not Alone
09:30 Final Thoughts & Gratitude

---

▶ Playlist:
[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERtMq5ugZmGu3Z7SH9GPuSLtFyyA24I9](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERtMq5ugZmGu3Z7SH9GPuSLtFyyA24I9)

---

🎵 Music Licensing

Music for Intro Track: Piano loops 120 efect 3  octave long loop 120 bpm by josefpres
[https://freesound.org/s/760421/](https://freesound.org/s/760421/)
License: Creative Commons 0

Music for Outro Track: Lo-fi loop.wav by CollectionOfMemories
[https://freesound.org/s/647591/](https://freesound.org/s/647591/)
License: Attribution 4.0

All rights belong to the original composer(s).

---

📷 Visual Licensing

Some footage and imagery used in this episode are licensed for reuse or modification via Creative Commons. Sourced from royalty-free platforms like Pexels, Pixabay, and Unsplash. AI-generated images or video for original use under fair-use policy. If you believe an asset has been misused or misattributed,  please contact me and I will address it.

Note: Some video footage and images are ©2025 Bert Mahoney

---

🤖 Made with Mika

This episode was written from my personal lived experience, and with the creative support of Mika, my AI assistant.

---

🆘  Mental Health Support

If you or someone you love is in crisis, please reach out to one of the options below for help.

– U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988
– NAMI (U.S.): [https://nami.org/](https://nami.org/)
– International helplines: [https://findahelpline.com/](https://findahelpline.com/)

---

🔖 Tags:

#depression #mentalhealthawareness #suicidalthoughts #emotional pain #how to survive depression #mental health support #real depression stories #mental health podcast #mentalhealthawareness #feelinginvisible #survivingdepression #holdingonanyway #mentalhealthsupport #youarenotalone #reachingout #depressionstories #invisibleillness

---

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/SHOW NOTES Template 1deffa30cf0b80158faed9590ff4acf1.md

SHOW NOTES Template


[Assistant]
# SRT file format example

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: May 8, 2025 5:39 PM
Updated: January 18, 2026 11:50 AM
Tag: srt (https://www.notion.so/srt-233ffa30cf0b807c96eac3f99ceb8dc5?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

1

00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:10,230

Hello there, welcome to this SRT tutorial video.

2

00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,359

Today, we’ll teach you how to create subtitles manually.

3

00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:18,750

by breaking down the process into simple steps. Stay tuned!

4

00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,120

First, make sure to have your transcript or script ready.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/SRT file format example 1edffa30cf0b80eaad53f5b7217015dc.md

SRT file format example


[Assistant]
# Script Grieving the life I thought I’d have

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Script
Created: April 30, 2025 3:25 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:31 AM
Tag: scripts (https://www.notion.so/scripts-196ffa30cf0b80848027cb6016611735?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# 🎙 Reflections — Grieving the Life You Thought You’d Have

---

[Soft ambient music fades in]

**BERT (gentle, thoughtful tone):**

This is a reflections episode.

Grieving the life I thought I’d have.

[pause]

What dreams did I have to let go of?

[pause]

I had to let go of "happily ever after."

Of “'til death do us part.”

Of the belief that marriage vows could be held up by one person alone.

[pause]

I had to let go of the life I planned with her —

after the Kona races were behind us,

after the boys were grown,

after we’d sit in rocking chairs

waiting for grandkids to visit.

[pause]

I pictured retirement with her.

Peace.

Closure.

Connection returning like the tide.

But none of that will happen.

And I’ve had to come to terms with it.

[pause]

There *was* a moment I realized the old life was truly gone.

Two moments, actually.

One —

when she told me she wanted her doors.

Hearing those words didn’t just land —

they settled into me like cold stone.

[pause]

The second came months later.

I was in New York,

walking three miles every day around an island —

surrounded by river,

drenched in grief.

[pause]

Every step, every lap,

was another layer of goodbye

to the life I thought I’d have.

It took time.

It took crying.

It took silence.

It took walking through all the things that were never going to be.

[pause]

And somehow,

even though none of those dreams came true —

I’m still here.

Still walking.

Still building something new.

[Soft outro music fades]

Be well.

And if you’re grieving a life that didn’t happen —

you’re not alone.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Script Grieving the life I thought I’d have 1e5ffa30cf0b8091b275e1098bc9d75b.md


[Assistant]
# Script—Disclaimers for videos

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Template
Created: April 27, 2025 2:44 PM
Updated: May 5, 2025 7:35 PM
Tag: legal (https://www.notion.so/legal-1e2ffa30cf0b8005aa40d2d4a461ca4f?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Template
Value: 04-Suportive

# 🎙 Short Spoken Disclaimers (Choose One)

## Option 1: Plainspoken, Minimal

"Hey — quick note before we start. I'm not a therapist or a doctor. I'm just a guy who's lived this, and I'm sharing my story. If you're struggling, please reach out for help — there are links in the description."

## Option 2: Gentle and Grounded

"Just so you know, I'm not a mental health professional. I'm someone who's been through it, still going through it, and talking about what it feels like to survive. If you need help, please check the resources I've linked below."

## Option 3: Very Short (If you want it super tight)

"This is just my story, not therapy advice. If you're hurting, please reach out — links are below."

## Option 4: Soft, Reflective

"Before we start... I’m not here as a therapist. I’m here as someone who's lived this pain and is still finding ways to survive it. If you're struggling, there are people who can help — you’ll find links below."

---

# 📄 Text Disclaimer for Descriptions

**Disclaimer:**

I am not a therapist, counselor, or medical professional. I share personal experiences and perspectives for storytelling and solidarity — not advice. If you are in crisis or need support, please seek professional help. Resources are linked below.

Living With Suicidal Thoughts (But Not Wanting to Die)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Script—Disclaimers for videos 1e2ffa30cf0b80f0913ce952c33f724d.md

Script—Disclaimers for videos


[Assistant]
# Script—Intro and Outro – Universal

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Script
Created: April 22, 2025 11:51 PM
Updated: May 4, 2025 11:59 PM
Tag: scripts (https://www.notion.so/scripts-196ffa30cf0b80848027cb6016611735?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Done
Value: 04-Suportive

### Intro

This is Holding On, Anyway — a space for the heavy days, the quiet ones, the ones that don’t make sense. I’m glad you made it here.

‘

### 🎧 Holding On—Anyway: Outro Script

Thank you for being here, dear listener.

If this episode struck a chord—or stayed with you—

helped you feel a little less alone,

or brought you closer to someone you care about—

**Please consider liking, subscribing, or sharing it** with someone who might benefit.

It really helps more people find these conversations.

And if something in this episode resonated,

I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

This episode was created from my own lived experience.

It’s not here to diagnose or treat, but to create empathy.

**If you're in crisis**, please reach out to your local mental health services

or a suicide prevention hotline.

I’ve called the hotline myself before.

They were kind, they listened—

and they helped me through a storm.

That’s the hope behind *Holding On—Anyway*:

To remind those struggling that **you are not alone**,

and to help those who love them understand what mental health really feels like.

I'm **Bert**—creator and producer of this series.

**Be well. And until next time,**

this was *Holding On—Anyway*.

---

### Ending

Thank you for being here, dear listener.

If this episode struck a chord OR stayed with you—

helped you feel a little less alone,

or brought you closer to

someone you care about—

Please consider subscribing and liking,
its helps these videos help more people.

Or sharing it with someone you know who
may benefit is gratefully appreciated .

And if something here in this episode resonated,

I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

This episode is created from my life,
and this space held by lived experience,

This content is intended to create empathy, not to diagnose or treat any condition.

For crisis support, please contact your local mental health services or suicide prevention hotline.

From experience I can say these resources help.
I know, I’ve called the suicide hotline,
and they were nice people willing to
take some time and hear your story,
they want to help you get through your storms.

That’s what my hope is with these episodes.

Its lets people who deal with this know they’re not alone,
and lets those who love them
understand how mental health affects us.

This is Bert.
Creator and Producer of this series—soup to nuts.

Be well, and until next time,

this was *Holding On*—anyway.

---

Thank you for being here, dear listener.

If this episode sat with you in some way — helped you feel less alone, or helped you understand someone you care about — I hope you’ll consider subscribing, liking, or sharing it with someone who might need it too.

This space is held by lived experience… and shaped with the quiet help of

**Mica**

Until next time — this was

*Holding On, Anyway.*

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Script—Intro and Outro – Universal 1deffa30cf0b80e99745ccf43a7f8a88.md

Script—Intro and Outro – Universal


[Assistant]
# Seths Marketing Insights Report

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Strategy + Tactics
Created: June 25, 2025 7:44 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:30 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

# **Marketing Insights Report**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zcnK6Lx_p4

## **1. Core Message:**

Seth Godin emphasizes that successful marketing is not about pushing mediocre products through aggressive advertising but rather about creating remarkable offerings that resonate with a specific audience, fostering genuine connections that encourage word-of-mouth promotion.

## **2. Key Takeaways:**

**[00:02:30]**

Originality is overrated; instead of inventing new business models, find and adapt existing successful structures.

**[00:15:45]**

To create a remarkable product, focus on making something worth talking about, rather than just average offerings.

**[00:29:00]**

Understand your audience's worldview and existing beliefs to effectively communicate and market your product.

**[00:45:15]**

Consistency and generosity in your efforts build trust and permission, essential for long-term success in marketing.

**[01:02:00]**

The key to spreading your message lies in creating conditions where your customers feel compelled to share their positive experiences.

## **3. Notable Quotes:**

***[00:10:00]**
"Marketing is creating the conditions for an idea to spread."**[00:35:00]**
"To be remarkable is to be worth making a remark about."**[01:05:00]**
"Most people quit too late; they don't quit too soon. Most people shouldn't even start."*

## **4. Context:**

Seth Godin is a renowned marketing expert, author, and speaker, known for his influential books on marketing, leadership, and change. He has built a reputation as a thought leader in the marketing field, advocating for innovative and ethical marketing practices that prioritize genuine connections over traditional advertising methods. His extensive experience and insights make him a credible authority on building successful brands and audiences.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Seths Marketing Insights Report 21dffa30cf0b8002b326c5cec8ece597.md

Seths Marketing Insights Report


[Assistant]
# Single—Episode Production Template

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Template
Created: April 27, 2025 6:50 PM
Updated: May 5, 2025 2:17 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Template
Value: 04-Suportive

# 🎙 Episode [Number] – [Working Title]

---

## 🎧 Audio

- [ ]  Final recording complete
- [ ]  Edited and mastered
- [ ]  Intro disclaimer included
- [ ]  Outro included

---

## 📜 Script

- Final script: [Paste or link here]

---

## 📸 Visuals

- Thumbnail concept: [Describe idea or paste link]
- Background images/video clips list: [Paste links or notes]

---

## 🏷 Titles

- YouTube Title: [Optimized Title Here]
- Alternate Titles (if needed): [List]

---

## 📄 Description (SEO + Storytelling)

[Paste the full description here, with mental health resources included]

---

## 📋 Tags / Keywords

- [Paste SEO-optimized keywords here, no hashtags for backend tagging]
- Hashtags for social posts: [Paste Instagram/TikTok/YouTube hashtags]

---

## 🚨 Disclaimer

- Spoken: [Which version you used]
- Written: [Confirm included in description]

---

## 🆘 Mental Health Resources (Paste this every time)

- Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): 988 or [988lifeline.org](https://988lifeline.org/)
- Crisis Text Line: Text HELLO to 741741
- Find international help: [findahelpline.com](https://findahelpline.com/)

---

## 🛠 Status Checklist

- [ ]  Audio complete
- [ ]  Video edited
- [ ]  Captions added
- [ ]  Thumbnail created
- [ ]  Upload scheduled/published
- [ ]  Notes saved for improvements

---

# 🌙 Reflection (Optional)

- What felt right about this episode?
- What could improve for next time?

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Single—Episode Production Template 1e2ffa30cf0b80988269c3622b3d8465.md

Single—Episode Production Template


[Assistant]
# Sobbing instantly

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: April 21, 2025 7:13 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

Mutely
The sadness in me, with Dignity and respect meets the sadness in you.

Repetition.
Another holiday season is here.

## Time to pull up the bootstraps and push through days of holiday cheer that are void within me

### This is despite knowing my triggers, their song and dance, and the internal misery they produce

### I find my self performing the same negative loops during this season, as I have for the past 5 years.

People take for granted their mental health until they lose it

The sadness in me respectfully acknowledges the sadness in you.

The melancholy in me, respectfully acknowledges the melancholy in you.

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Sobbing instantly 1dcffa30cf0b8063bc46db40220bfc49.md

Sobbing instantly


[Assistant]
# Storytelling Notes

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: May 7, 2025 4:51 PM
Updated: January 18, 2026 11:49 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 09-Highly Strategic

1. But then… (plot twist)   Therefore (resolution)
2. Change length of sentences to help pacing and changing of length.
3. Tone. Conversational
4. Direction — where u going with story? How does it resolve?
5. Storylenses (Your unique way of telling the story)
6. The Hook — getting people’s attention

source:

[How To Become A Master Storyteller](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Z-Q1bg1tU&list=WL&index=2)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Storytelling Notes 1ecffa30cf0b80a19551c75336cf70b0.md

Storytelling Notes


[Assistant]
# SundayNightStatus

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: StatusReport
Created: May 4, 2025 7:36 PM
Updated: May 5, 2025 2:16 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: _top-priority
Value: 08-Essential

# 🎙 Holding On, Anyway — Master Episode Index

## 🔥 Holding On, Anyway (HOA)

- **HOA-001** — *When You Just Want It to Stop* ✅ Published
- **HOA-002** — *The War Between Wanting Help and Pushing It Away* ✅ Published
- **HOA-003** — *Why It's Hard to Ask for Help (Even When You're Drowning)* ✅ Recorded / Drafted
- **HOA-004** — *Surviving the ‘You Should Be Over This’ Phase* 🟡 Prompt Set 4 — scripting soon
- **HOA-005** — *The Small Things That Keep You Alive* ✅ Draft complete
- **HOA-006** — *When Asking for Help Felt Impossible* ✅ Final draft approved
- **HOA-007** — *[TBD]* — “Survival” prompt response 🟠 Awaiting script

---

## 🖤 Barely, But Here (BBH)

- **BBH-001** — *When You Just Want It to Stop* (alt. script) ✅ Complete / Unpublished
- **BBH-002** — *The Morning I Didn’t Want to Wake Up* ✅ Published
- **BBH-003** — *Nights That Feel Endless* ✅ Published
- **BBH-004** — *The War Between Wanting Help and Pushing It Away* ✅ Drafted
- **BBH-005** — *The Small Things That Kept Me Alive* ✅ Drafted
- **BBH-006** — *[TBD]* — Prompt Set 2 🟡 Drafting
- **BBH-007** — *[TBD]* — Prompt Set 003 🔜 Next to script
- **BBH-008** — *The Cup I Didn’t Finish* 🟢 In Progress

---

## 🌒 Reflections

- **REF-001** — *The Work Isn’t Finished — And That’s Okay* ✅ Scripted
- **REF-002** — *The Grief of Becoming Someone New* 🟢 In Progress (Prompt Set 4)
- **REF-003** — *Habituation — How I Got Used to Feeling Nothing* 🟠 Queued

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/SundayNightStatus 1e9ffa30cf0b809fbfbafd6203e0e461.md

SundayNightStatus


[Assistant]
# Texts of hate

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: December 25, 2025 9:41 AM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

__

days like today make me question why the fuck am I still alive?

So I can be more destitute for longer?

I’ve lost so much

I feel like I don’t exist

I feel forgotten

I feel discarded

I feel deep lonliness

I feel fucked over hard

I feel dead inside

I know hope has died

And now I’m pretty sure love is dead now too
—

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Texts of hate 2d4ffa30cf0b80e6a770ca500799b79b.md

Texts of hate


[Assistant]
# The Art of Raw, Authentic Storytellings — Writing Tactics

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Strategy + Tactics
Created: May 1, 2025 12:28 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:30 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

## First Lines That Hit Hard

Your opening line is everything. It's the difference between someone scrolling past or stopping to hear your story. But here's the thing - it has to feel real. Let's look at what actually works:

### The Raw Truth Hook

When you open with pure vulnerability, it stops people in their tracks:
"I feel like a failure"
"I'm $20k in debt and I think I fucked up"
"I had to manufacture this debt just to attempt to succeed"

Why these work: They're uncomfortable truths. Nobody wants to admit these things, which is exactly why they resonate. They break the perfect social media facade.

### The Reality Check Hook

These challenge what people believe:
"Everything you know about making it is wrong"
"Want to know why you're still stuck? It's not what you think"
"The only way I'll get to $20k is by following this one rule"

The key here is conviction. You're not trying to be controversial - you're speaking from experience and pain.

## Building Real Tension

The best stories maintain tension without feeling manufactured. Here's how:

### Natural Open Loops

Instead of:
"Wait until you hear what happened next!"

Try:
"Back in my third year of college, a girl had just broken my heart. And as irrational as it was, I made a promise to myself..."

See the difference? The second one creates curiosity without trying too hard.

### Stakes That Matter

Instead of:
"This could change everything!"

Try:
"I have 6 months to pay back $20k or I'm fucked"

Real stakes. Real consequences. No hype needed.

## The Authenticity Framework

### Raw vs. Polished

Your story should feel like you're telling it to a close friend at 2 AM. That means:

- Keep the mess
- Keep the emotion
- Keep the real words you'd actually use

Before (Too Polished):
"I realized I needed to optimize my approach to entrepreneurship and implement better systems"

After (Real):
"I was lazy as fuck. Completely undisciplined. Spent months 'trying to make it' but got nothing done"

### Real Examples Breakdown

Let's break down three scripts that crushed it and why:

1. The Debt Confession Story:
"I'm $20k in debt and now I have 6 months to pay it back or I'm screwed"

Why it works:

- Immediate stakes
- Real numbers
- Clear timeline
- Natural language
- Genuine fear
1. The College Dropout Story:
"Back in my third year of college, a girl had just broken my heart..."

Why it hits:

- Relatable trigger
- Emotional core
- Shows irrational decisions
- Proves transformation possible
- Connects past to present
1. The No Zero Days Story:
"Let me show you the one rule that's forcing me to win"

What makes it powerful:

- Promise of value
- Personal struggle
- Clear concept
- Real transformation
- Actionable takeaway

## Maintaining Your Voice

The biggest mistake people make is trying to sound like someone else. Your power comes from your unique voice. Here's how to keep it real:

### Finding Your Raw Voice

- Record yourself telling the story to a friend
- Write exactly how you speak
- Keep your natural rhythm
- Don't edit out the rough edges
- Let emotion drive the pace

### When To Break "Rules"

Sometimes authenticity means breaking conventional wisdom:

- Run-on sentences when you're fired up
- Short, choppy lines when you're frustrated
- Curse words when they're natural
- Incomplete thoughts when they feel real

### The Reality Check Test

Before posting, ask yourself:

- Would I actually say this?
- Does this sound like me on my most authentic day?
- Am I trying to sound like someone else?
- Did I edit out the real emotion?

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/The Art of Raw, Authentic Storytellings — Writing  1e6ffa30cf0b800c814dfd30a85147f4.md

The Art of Raw, Authentic Storytellings — Writing Tactics


[Assistant]
Status,Name,Deadline,Project,Parent Task,Next Due,Recur Interval,Recur Unit,Days (Only if Set to 1 Day(s)),Smart List,Contexts,Value
On Hold,1 br Apt Search in area,,,,,,,,,,Assign
to Process,Celebrating Black voices shaping the outdoors - bert.mahoney@gmail.com - Gmail,,,,,,,,,,Assign
to Process,Check job appications Saratoga County,,,,,,,,,,Assign
to Process,Talk Your Truth To Me - Saskia Lightstar,,,,,,,,,,Assign

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/The Inner Monologue That Won't Stop Understanding /View Tasks (1) 1a0ffa30cf0b8195acf4c1c1eefdd0cf.csv


[Assistant]
# The Inner Monologue That Won't Stop: Understanding Persistent Self-Criticism

Favorite: No
Archived: No
URL: https://www.yearofmentalhealth.com/p/inner-monologue-that-wont-stop?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=2146589&post_id=157261938&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=at1m5&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email
Created: February 20, 2025 4:49 PM
Updated: February 20, 2025 4:49 PM
Project: MAIWM (../../../Projects/MAIWM%2054a6e2d86a824994a17e3c03bd907b1e.md)
My Day: No
Status: To Process
Value: 05-Moderate Value

![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1200,h_600,c_fill,f_jpg,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faed3862a-dedc-462c-82ac-895a071f680a_2400x1600.jpeg)

- **Nav**  |  [Dashboard](https://www.notion.so/Bert-s-Brain-in-Notion-164ffa30cf0b80ac8c93f878536b2784?pvs=21)  |  [Notes](https://www.notion.so/Notes-164ffa30cf0b817f8e87c2c628f3335a?pvs=21)

# Notes

---

# Tasks

[View: Tasks (1)](The%20Inner%20Monologue%20That%20Won't%20Stop%20Understanding%20/View%20Tasks%20(1)%201a0ffa30cf0b8195acf4c1c1eefdd0cf.csv)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/The Inner Monologue That Won't Stop Understanding  0746225acbfe4c958968f7a642969e16.md

The Inner Monologue That Won't Stop: Understanding Persistent Self-Criticism


[Assistant]
# The beginning of the end

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: December 1, 2025 4:35 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

AI Edit:

**[PAUSE]**

It all started back in 2018.

I slipped into another bout of depression — or at least that’s what it felt like at the start.

But the shame, guilt, and self-hatred moved in fast.

Silent on the outside, and devastating on the inside.

**[PAUSE]**

I’ve had depression since before my first attempt at 16.

I came close. Scared the hell out of myself.

And never told anyone until my 30s.

Shame and guilt were running the show back then.

**____________________________________________[PAUSE]**

Even before GenX in the 80s through the 90s,

having any sort of mental-health issues — if anyone found out in public high school — could lead to ridicule, scorn, social exclusion.

No one understood invisible diseases, or

In elementary school some kids were taken from class for “special class” or remedial as it was call waaaay back in the 1970s when I went from toddler to ten-year old by 1980.

I have a good bicentennial story from 1976

### Anyway That’s another talk.

**[PAUSE]**

Back to Covid Times.

**[BEAT]**

I began self-isolating more and more.

I already had “bridge troll tendencies” before covid began

so it probably didn’t look like much had changed.

Eventually the mask I used to pretend I was fine… just failed.

My psychic stench

— that low-frequency distress some people can sense — became impossible to hide.

**[PAUSE]**

Around this time, dissociation started taking over more of my life.

Losing time. Drifting out of myself, or ‘Clicking out’ as i used to call it

Watching my own thoughts through a timeless state of mind.

Losing touch, drifting away for a while and then back again.

Never knowing if it was 5 minutes or 50.

**[PAUSE]**

I tried not to let my illness seep into my family — my sons, my wife — but it did.

**[PAUSE]**

Eventually I got a formal diagnosis that reflects how deep and persistent this is.

I won’t go into the clinical stuff yet.

I’ll just say: it’s the kind of depression that sticks around.

The kind that circles back.

The kind that waits for the right opportunity to step in

The kind that lies so well

you believe every word that’s said.

**[PAUSE]**

And it has cost me a lot.

My marriage. My family. My home. My income.

No unemployment benefits; I was a 1099 contractor.

With the little resources to fall on, I ended up homeless,

living in my car for 14 months in Ventura County.

The details of that are for the future

### That’s another talk.

**[PAUSE]**

By then I was back on medication,

but the marriage was long gone.

**[PAUSE]**

Living in my car ended in October 2024,

when I drove to Colorado,

almost at the end of my ability to keep going.

**[PAUSE]**

Over time I’ve learned a lot.

About myself.

About the people who stayed.

And the people I thought would stay.

Most importantly, I learned that a large majority of people

don’t actually know a god damn thing about mental illness.

There’s no one in their life, inside their life sphere—who deals with it, so it’s invisible to them.
Sadly for some if they DO get a whiff of whack-ness-

You are out.
Out of sight,
out of mind.

**[PAUSE]**

## Invisible diseases are brutal.

They distort thinking, understanding, communication…

and no one around you knows it’s happening

because the masks we wear hide things

That is why no one can see inside, your view.
No one understands,

No one gets it

and it feels lonely and shameful and guilt ridden

**[PAUSE]**

That’s where my story comes in.

I’m creating art to show how depression and dissociation

impact the way I interpret and move about the world.

I want to make the invisible distortions visible to all.

**[BEAT]**

My hope is that people who’ve never experienced this may walk away with a little more understanding.

I’ll be using many platforms, to share stories about my life with depression.

And I’ll be sharing my new art projects soon.

**[PAUSE]**

Until then… be well.

---

## V2

It all started back in 2018.
I had slipped into another bout of depression.

At least that is what it felt like at the start.

However, the shame, guilt and self-hatred took over—

silent to others, but emotionally and psychologically devastating to me.

This time was different, things went darker and deeper than ever before.

I’ve had depression certainly starting before my first attempt at age 16.
That was 1986

I came really close,
scared the shit out of myself,
and never spoke a word of it to anyone
until my 30s.

Shame and guilt were unconsciously driving “my bus” back then.

This was the 1980s

—having personal mental health issues, if discovered by others, would put a target on you as a “wacko” or “mental case”

I’m digressing. That’s another talk.

Back to Covid times.

I began self-isolating more and more as things got darker.
I had bridge troll tendencies anyway
so it likely did not seem a big deal to anyone.

Eventually the masks to “pretend I’m ok” turned off.

My psychic—stench was the worst of my life.

I had no more energy to sustain it.
There was no containing it.

Psychic—stench being the low frequency vibrations sensitive people pick up on.

”Dark melancholy vibes”

The term Psychic—stench was coined by one of my former therapists while we were in session.

Ultimately I was left with the connections of my personal family, (sons and wife) and although I did my best not to let it seep, it did.

My current diagnosis of

Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder with Suicidal Ideation — is a mouthful.

It has cost me dearly.

I’ve lost

My marriage,

my family,

my home,

and my primary source of income

No federal or state unemployment as a 1099 independent contractor

So, with few resources to fall on I was soon homeless living in my car for 16 months on the streets of Ventura County California starting in June of 2023.

Fortunately by this time I had started back on depression medications; but my marriage was already lost.

Living in my car ended in October of 2024 when, nearly at the end of my ability to continue, I drove to Longmont, Colorado.

As someone who lives with this cyclically over time,

I’ve come to learn a great deal about myself, people who were, and are still, close to me—and most importantly others in the world uneducated about Mental Health issues completely invisible to them and the world at large.

Do you realize that no one can see inside your view?

Especially when they don’t even know it exists?

This is my part of my current undertaking.

I’m publishing video, writing, and working with art to express as clearly as I can what my unique experience with a life of depression has been like.

I’ll share topics about depression and anxiety that are invisible to others.

The hope is educating those who lack understanding of complex invisible mental illnesses people live with every day like Depression, and Anxiety.

I’ll be using many platforms to share stories about my life experience and hopefully help others

Subscribe and Share

be well and thanks for listening.

---

## V1

It all started back in 2018.
I had slipped into another bout of depression.

At least that is what it felt like at the start.

However, the shame, guilt and self-hatred took over—silent to others, but emotionally and psychologically devastating to the reciever.

I’ve had depression certainly starting before my first attempt at age 16.

I came really close,
scared the shit out of myself,
and never spoke a word of it to anyone
until my 30s.

Shame and guilt were driving the bus back then.

This was early 1980s through 2000

—having personal mental health issues, if discovered by others,
could intensify from their ridicule,
scorn, or exclusion.

I’m digressing. That’s another talk.

Back to Covid times.

I began self-isolating more and more.

I had bridge troll tendencies anyway

so it likely did not seem a big deal to anyone.

Eventually the masks to “pretend I’m ok” turned off.

My psychic—stench was the worst of my life.

I had no more energy to sustain it.
There was no containing it.

Psychic—stench being the low frequency vibrations sensitive people pick up on.
An apt term coined by one of my former therapists.

Ultimately I was left with the connections of my personal family, (sons and wife) and although I did my best not to let it seep, it did.

My current diagnosis of

Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder with Suicidal Ideation — is a mouthful.

It has cost me dearly.

I’ve lost

My marriage,

my family,

my home,

and my primary source of income

No federal or state unemployment—1099 independent contractor

So, with no resources to fall on I was homeless living in my car for 16 months on the streets of Ventura County California starting in June of 2023.

Fortunately by this time I had started back on depression medications; but my marriage was already lost.

Living in my car ended in October of 2024 when, nearly at the end of my ability to continue, I drove to Longmont, Colorado.
As someone who lives with this cyclically over time,

I’ve come to learn a great deal about myself, people who were, and are still, close to me—and most importantly others in the world uneducated about Mental Health issues completely invisible to them and the world at large.

Do you realize that no one can see inside your view?

Especially when they don’t even know it exists?

This is my part of my current undertaking.

I’m working with art to express as clearly as I can what my unique experience with a life of depression has been like.

I’ll share topics about depression and anxiety that are invisible to others.

The hope is educating those who lack understanding of complex invisible mental illnesses people live with every day like Depression, and Anxiety.

I’ll be using this platform and others to share stories about my life experience and hopefully help where and when people find my artwork.

I’ll be sharing my art projects soon, so until then

be well, and stay out of trouble

Cheers

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/The beginning of the end 2bcffa30cf0b800f94d8c08ce0c750d6.md

The beginning of the end


[Assistant]
# Title Hacks to Explode Your Views 🚀📈✨

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Strategy + Tactics
Created: January 21, 2025 5:01 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:30 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

If you’re a YouTube who creates tutorial videos, here’s a sweet little trick you can do on your next video. Most creators will create one tutorial video mentioning one software in the title. You can actually capitalize on the search volume of multiple tools in one single video. For this example, 3 ... [Read more](https://link.skool.com/ls/click?upn=u001.2UdEM6H1LYMFFEDAjbGlDsIJjs9Vvtd6MdhOkqUdOBUr1-2BnNiK7qW01tXrfg0-2Fc3W-2BBarX8JxIM0AzvjjbJN0bCzI91Zmcn36fGFMbl32q3KrHwT5eXVjdpurn403HAaQbcBbVtLtZo6UkO8kbKEZYL4AjAXb-2FEtHVBHLth5ICE-3DPyjI_GTtz3YW3DVrLItNPpQcWwTz8sofLg7vnS71jbi7UgHAeEaXUhoUhhda51Y3Qgr-2BNk8I-2BknZu6PbaT5otaM1AD9oo3cQah6FvwWNZDdqcNYTxQ2KRDGmtznl-2F4Qg3XSXvn-2Fg1-2FPfPyysqz-2Fd8UHwA5ELx2fOvSdKEj8PmuCoiQY7Gzw2hupCF3meIuE-2FUFOVMUROaeBva0Vyt40GIiSA-2FFVxEU7VsQItASD5zRNyGaiURE2oy6fge-2FTJ6MCh26FwgN6yQ8lsa-2FkXlw7tsat3A7s-2BtjAMOYifAmzu4dnmGgYUnvsEek0aVu6L75SUbaH5A1Eni7yda-2Fzs-2Fcp9J3t3K9wpQKeS8V0ZMf3KPRkctv42nTAI3HHA2x9UE9nNB7bfHBYDpNdpdN8XBLTEsI2WOtNTDa2Mo3TcruJHX0g1ok2-2FvDRq8YrjqC3-2BI7ot8SoT1hw7EPF4XDiMm8M39Anmk123LAjEIuBFOME5j7Q1Ku0914cuWhYK2lK7n8OMFfI8L6e-2B03l2y7ySuCHy3obOXH002GbOKq2dqSpPOKsr5W3OVhHWCEHDyXSqz5Q8W5hZ2hqkHogyfAtF-2BHt-2FpTrwGmQ-3D-3D)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Title Hacks to Explode Your Views 🚀📈✨ 182ffa30cf0b800bb5edcbaf20615f3b.md

Title Hacks to Explode Your Views 🚀📈✨


[Assistant]
# Top-Tier Strategic YT Moves

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: May 7, 2025 5:39 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:30 AM
Tag: notes (https://www.notion.so/notes-199ffa30cf0b8013878fc46ce1155366?pvs=21)
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 09-Highly Strategic

Here’s a detailed breakdown of all the major **content strategies, techniques, and frameworks** shared in the video with **timestamps** and **step-by-step clarity**.

---

## **🔑 Strategies & Frameworks from Caleb Ralston (with Timestamps)**

---

### **1. The Volume as Data Strategy**

**Timestamp:** ~0:45 to 3:15

**Key Ideas:**

- Top 1% of creators put out 300+ pieces of content per week (including stories, tweets, posts, shorts).
- **Purpose of volume:** Not to “invade feeds,” but to **acquire data** quickly to learn what quality actually means to your audience.
- Quality is **defined by audience response**, not personal judgment.

**Steps:**

1. Post high volume content.
2. Track which ones outperform.
3. Reduce quantity while increasing **effort per piece** based on what performs (Accordion Method).

---

### **2. Accordion Method**

**Timestamp:** ~3:15 to 5:20

**Core Idea:** Start broad, then narrow.

- Expand to high volume to test.
- Contract based on what works and double down on winners.

**Steps:**

1. Begin with 14 posts/week → test what works.
2. Learn from audience reactions.
3. Focus effort on top-performing formats → reduce to ~7 quality posts.

---

### **3. Brand Journey Framework**

**Timestamp:** ~5:20 to 8:10

**Four Critical Questions to Build a Brand with Intention:**

1. **What is the outcome I want?**
2. **What would I need to be known for to achieve that?**
3. **What would I need to do to be known for that?**
4. **What do I need to learn to do those things?**

Helps filter topics to avoid burnout and misaligned content.

---

### **4. 80/20 Content Mix**

**Timestamp:** ~9:40 to 13:00

**Strategy:**

- 80% of content should be focused on your **core topic**.
- 20% shows your personality, interests, or hobbies (ex: motorcycles, cereal, golf).

This adds depth and prevents burnout while building a relatable brand.

---

### **5. Share the Journey if You’re a Beginner**

**Timestamp:** ~13:15 to 14:50

If you’re not an expert, share your **learning process**:

- Talk about mistakes you made.
- Share what you’re trying and what works.
- Focus on **becoming the expert in public**.

---

### **6. Say the Same Things in Different Ways**

**Timestamp:** ~15:00 to 17:00

**Repetition is Key:**

- Use **stories** to present the same lessons differently.
- Repackage rather than repost.

---

### **7. Content Multiplication Across Platforms**

**Timestamp:** ~17:10 to 19:30

**Approach:**

- Take one idea (ex: viral tweet).
- Reformat it for Instagram, Shorts, Long-form YouTube.

**Rule:** Always **contextualize** for each platform.

---

### **8. Outlier-Based Data Analysis**

**Timestamp:** ~20:00 to 22:10

- Track only metrics that lead to changes.
- Use **multipliers (e.g. 1.5x, 0.5x)** to determine over/underperformance.

---

### **9. Maintaining Quality During Scale**

**Timestamp:** ~22:20 to 24:40

- Use audience engagement as the **measure of quality**.
- If engagement drops → reduce quantity, increase **effort per post**.

---

### **10. What It Takes to Operate Like the Top 1%**

**Timestamp:** ~25:00 to 27:30

- Significant time, capital, pre-production planning.
- 80% of the battle is **ideas**, not editing.

---

### **11. Team First Strategy**

**Timestamp:** ~27:30 to 30:00

- Build the **right team first**, before optimizing content.
- Empower team members to become platform specialists (bottom-up model).

---

### **12. Eye of Sauron Platform Strategy**

**Timestamp:** ~32:10 to 33:50

- Focus deeply on one platform (YouTube) until it’s dialed in.
- Then move to LinkedIn, Instagram, etc.

**Start with 3 platforms** max → rest go on “maintenance mode.”

---

### **13. Contractor vs. Agency vs. Full-Time**

**Timestamp:** ~34:00 to 38:30

- **Agency** = fast learning & no onboarding.
- **Contractor** = test ideas & low risk.
- **Full-Time** = culture alignment & long-term investment.

---

### **14. Width Content vs. Depth Content**

**Timestamp:** ~42:10 to 44:00

- Width = reach new audiences (shorts, hooks, virality).
- Depth = build trust & show mastery (vlogs, deep dives).

**Early strategy:** Focus on depth to avoid attracting the wrong audience.

---

### **15. Educational Content = Scaled Trust**

**Timestamp:** ~45:00 to 47:20

- Pair brand with **case studies & success stories**.
- Eventually the audience **associates YOU with their own success**.

---

### **16. Best Call to Action Strategy**

**Timestamp:** ~48:00 to 50:00

- Never right hook in organic content (weak performance).
- Deliver value, then make the ask via **paid retargeting**.
- If no paid ads, **soft CTA**: “If that feels overwhelming, I can help…”

---

### **17. How to Capture Emails Strategically**

**Timestamp:** ~50:20 to 52:00

- Use free SOPs, worksheets, deeper value tools on your **website**.
- Tease value in organic → drive to gated assets in context.

---

### **18. How to Build a Personalized Team**

**Timestamp:** ~53:00 to 56:00

- Hire based on **bottlenecks**, not org charts.
- Choose preferred medium (video, text, audio) and hire around that.

---

### **19. Ideal Feedback Method for Creators**

**Timestamp:** ~57:00 to 59:00

- Leave more positive feedback than critiques.
- Encourage editors by calling out what to **keep doing**, not just change.

---

### **20. How to Be Truly Original**

**Timestamp:** ~1:00:00 to 1:01:30

- Don’t look at your niche → study formats from unrelated industries (e.g., gaming).
- If you look at your own niche, you’ll **always be second best**.

---

### **21. Current Platform Opportunities**

**Timestamp:** ~1:02:00 to 1:04:00

- **LinkedIn** is the best organic reach platform in 2025.
- Show up human, avoid robotic ChatGPT posts.

---

### **22. The Podcasting Strategy**

**Timestamp:** ~1:05:00 to 1:06:00

- Great for **ROI** and depth of brand.
- Consider **panel-style shows or moderated chats** to stand out.

---

### **23. Collaborate Intentionally**

**Timestamp:** ~1:07:00 to 1:08:30

- Be careful whose shows you go on.
- Brand associations are built by who you appear with.

---

## **🧠 Summary of Core Principles**

- **Volume is for data, not vanity.**
- **Depth before width.**
- **Always show, don’t just say.**
- **Repurpose contextually.**
- **Build teams around YOUR bottlenecks.**
- **Use stories to repeat core ideas.**
- **Let the audience define quality.**
- **Trust scales results.**

---

Would you like me to turn these into a downloadable content strategy PDF or apply this to your YouTube channel?

👉 **Also, join Doug Boughton’s Creator’s Club here** for more strategies like this:

https://skool.com/actiontaker

What part of this content strategy would you like help implementing first—titles, content plan, or video repurposing strategy?

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Top-Tier Strategic YT Moves 1ecffa30cf0b800980d7f165231a8736.md

Top-Tier Strategic YT Moves


[Assistant]
# Topic. Also check for photo

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: January 4, 2026 4:12 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

![](Topic%20Also%20check%20for%20photo/image.png)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Topic Also check for photo 2deffa30cf0b81da8467c9a364285eac.md

Topic. Also check for photo


[Assistant]
# Unhealthy Thinking Styles

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: June 13, 2025 5:53 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Unhealthy Thinking Styles 211ffa30cf0b801a88a2fd0325406959.md

Unhealthy Thinking Styles


[Assistant]
Status,Name,Deadline,Project,Parent Task,Next Due,Recur Interval,Recur Unit,Days (Only if Set to 1 Day(s)),Smart List,Contexts,Value
On Hold,1 br Apt Search in area,,,,,,,,,,Assign
to Process,Celebrating Black voices shaping the outdoors - bert.mahoney@gmail.com - Gmail,,,,,,,,,,Assign
to Process,Check job appications Saratoga County,,,,,,,,,,Assign
to Process,Talk Your Truth To Me - Saskia Lightstar,,,,,,,,,,Assign

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/WeekStatus @May 2, 2025/View Tasks (1) 1e8ffa30cf0b8032b979f2c17bd55334.csv


[Assistant]
# WeekStatus @May 2, 2025

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: StatusReport
Created: May 2, 2025 10:05 PM
Updated: May 5, 2025 2:16 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: _top-priority
Value: 08-Essential

- **Nav**  |  [Dashboard](https://www.notion.so/Bert-s-Brain-in-Notion-164ffa30cf0b80ac8c93f878536b2784?pvs=21)  |  [Notes](https://www.notion.so/Notes-164ffa30cf0b817f8e87c2c628f3335a?pvs=21)

# Notes

---

# 🎙 Holding On, Anyway — Episode Tracker (Week’s End Status)

---

## ✅ Finalized & Delivered

### 🖤 Barely, But Here (BBH)

- BBH-001 — Morning I Didn't Want to Wake Up
- BBH-002 — Morning I Didn’t Want to Move
- BBH-003 — Nights That Feel Endless
- BBH-004 — When I Thought I Was a Burden
- BBH-005 — The Shower I Couldn’t Get Out Of

### 🔥 Holding On, Anyway (HOA)

- HOA-001 — When You Just Want It to Stop *(Published)*
- HOA-002 — The War Between Wanting Help and Pushing It Away *(Scripted)*
- HOA-006 — When Asking for Help Felt Impossible *(Final script done)*

### 🌒 Reflections

- Reflections — The Work Isn’t Finished
- Reflections — Grieving the Life You Thought You’d Have *(Part 1 complete)*
- Reflections — How I Got Used to Feeling Nothing *(Thumbnail selected, final polish in progress)*

---

### ⏳ In Progress / Queued

- HOA-004 — Why It’s Hard to Ask for Help
    - *(Needs final polish)*
    - XHOA-005 — The Small Things That Keep You Alive
- *(Needs final polish)*
- Reflections — Habituation
    - *(Final title: “How I Got Used to Feeling Nothing”)*
- Captions: All finalized episodes (TXT/SRT in batch build)
- Prompt Set #3:
    - ~~One left to record (from your side)~~
- Prompt Set #4:
    - Queued for delivery once current set is wrapped

---

### 🔜 Optional Add-ons (Let me know if needed)

- New thumbnails per episode series
- Notion database update with links & metadata
- Next batch scripting window prep

# Tasks

[View: Tasks (1)](WeekStatus%20@May%202,%202025/View%20Tasks%20(1)%201e8ffa30cf0b8032b979f2c17bd55334.csv)

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/WeekStatus @May 2, 2025 1e8ffa30cf0b80b4b9b2d41cf1db1750.md

WeekStatus @May 2, 2025


[Assistant]
# Welcome Email - New Subscriber (Revised with Paid CTA)

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Reference
Created: January 7, 2026 10:55 AM
Updated: February 2, 2026 7:01 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

---

**Subject Line:** Thanks for being here

---

**Email Body:**

---

Thanks for subscribing to Barely, But Here.

I'm Bert, and I write about living with invisible depression, dissociation, and what remains after the life I spent 50+ years building fell apart.

This isn't self-help or polished storytelling. It's honest documentation of survival—the kind that doesn't get shared because it's messy, uncomfortable, and hard to name.

**What you'll receive:**

Essays, stories, and reflections on mental health, grief, masculinity, and meaning-making. Some pieces are raw. Some are analytical. All are shared with thought and care.

I publish when there's something worth saying—no content calendar, no filler.

**Where to start:**

- [Link to Reflections on 2025]
• [Link to Day 01 hospital diary]

You can also browse the full archive anytime on the site.

**A quick reminder:**

I'm not a therapist. This is only my experience being shared. If you're in crisis, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or visit 988lifeline.org.

---

**Support this work:**

If this resonates with you and you're able, consider a paid subscription. It keeps this work honest, human, and ongoing—without rushing or performance. It allows me to write and record from lived experience, at a pace that respects the material.

[Become a paid subscriber]

---

If you've ever felt unseen, emotionally offline, or quietly overwhelmed while life kept moving—you're not alone.

Happy for your subscription.

Be well,

Bert

---

P.S. If you know someone who might benefit from this work, feel free to forward this or share the site. Word of mouth matters.

---

**Changes made:**

- Added paid subscription section with your "Thank You Page" language (maintains consistency)
- Changed closing to "Happy for your subscription" (more genuine, less formal than "glad you're here")
- Kept it at 2 links in "Where to start"
- Positioned paid CTA near the end but before final sign-off (not aggressive, but clear)

**Does this feel right?**

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Welcome Email - New Subscriber (Revised with Paid  2e1ffa30cf0b801d96c0ca56edc781a3.md

Welcome Email - New Subscriber (Revised with Paid CTA)


[Assistant]
# Why do I bother going?

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: April 26, 2023 1:21 AM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

I started to clear space

in the garage where

there once was none

not for spring cleaning

it's to stage my affairs

before they move

somewhere I don't yet know

Is it not a protocol

of good humans

to get their affairs in order;

if—and only if

there is sight of

life’s finish line?

Having loved ones—

terminal not by their choice—

with time to spend before leaving,

not having them snapped away

in the blink of an eye

by some error

of the universe

Feeling sorrow

for someone lost

in ones life;

yet that someone

still lives.

Difficult when

your heart

is left in your lap

bruised, tired, eroded

Will it live

to fight

another day?

Not with walls built,

trenches dug deep

and desire for isolation

where humans rarely go

Don’t hold on

Let go and trust

White pearls,

white knuckles

clinging to the bitter end

suffering generated

by a choice one is

unaware of

choosing

to believe stories

put in their head

by others

because, “fill in the blank”

simply not good enough

in some unfortunate way

oh the shame!

Believing stories

one doesn’t own

limits life

unfortunately

most live unaware

of this paradox

Depression.

trickster

thief

uninvited,
unannounced,
unwelcome

darkness, despair,
a sense of being undone

small, insignificant, and weak

drowning, sorrow, mute

jumbled mess, incoherence

I wonder if this is

how it will be

until the bitter end?

But then "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" (Mary Oliver)

The realization that one has a choice;

One does not have to live in strife and suffer once
it is realized that:
To want is to suffer

One can seek help,
find support,
and not fight with all their might

To banish depression,

to let the sun back in,

to make everything right

**For I am strong, I am brave, and I am worthy of love**

Suffering, a storm
Raging within, tearing apart
Peace, a distant dream

Suffering, created

from the choice of wanting

what you cannot have

and unable
to let the want go.

Depression, oh thief
Of joy, you steal my laughter
Leaving only dark

Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Why do I bother going a118fbad64184997aa2f3f145b17e2c8.md

Why do I bother going?