decision: APPROVE

content:
user: Id like to publish a podcast. Is youtube a good platform to publish episodes? Or something else?

Also please provide a 2do list of essential and important items that need to be generated to publish the podcast. For example graphics, a thumbnail image that will show up in podcast feeds, things like that and various meta-data I’d like to know what’s needed to set up the channel, and then what data information graphics are needed for each episode

assistant: YouTube can be a good platform for podcasts, especially if you plan to record video. However, there are some key considerations:

YouTube Pros:
- Huge built-in audience and discoverability
- Great for video podcasts
- Free hosting
- Good analytics
- Can monetize through ads once eligible
- Easy sharing and embedding

YouTube Cons:
- Primarily video-focused, not ideal for audio-only
- Listeners can't easily download episodes
- No built-in RSS feed for podcast directories

For audio podcasts, dedicated podcast hosting platforms are often better:
- Spotify for Podcasters (formerly Anchor) - Free, distributes to all major platforms
- Buzzsprout - Popular paid option with good features
- Podbean - Good all-around hosting service

memory_type: offer

sensitivity: private

matched_query: landing page

source_title: claude

review_status: approve


content:
user: I’m having a challenging day. I have my landing page up my website updated all my articles published I started pushing promo on my landing page. And I just have this weird sense that I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make a drink meaning I can get a lot of people to read my service offer but how many you are gonna buy that’s I don’t control peoples decision-making to buy all I have control of is my effort and my attitude and right now being in the position I’ve been in for as long as I’ve been in I’m struggling with my attitude because I’m not asking for a lot and I simply want my life to move forward but I can’t do it without the other side of the universe allowing me to plug-in so how the fuck do I get out of this if the universe won’t play? That’s what’s in my head so how do you prompt me for that

assistant: ## **Prompt for Your Walk - The Waiting**

---

You don't need motivation right now. You need permission to say what's actually true.

So here's the prompt:

---

> **"I did everything right. And the universe said nothing."**

---

Walk with that.

Let it sit.

Then hit record and talk about:

**What happens when you show up completely—and nobody responds.**

No


content:
assistant: **Perfect direction.** Building to 6-8 solid posts before going wide is smart. You'll have proof of concept, sustained quality, and multiple entry points. Instagram, LinkedIn, and X are the right platforms for this content. Buffer free tier works fine for basic scheduling.

Alignment confirmed.

---

## OPEN/ACTIVE (Preferred Completion Order)

1. **Hypervigilance Publication** — Update Masking/Functional Depression links to actual URLs, publish Sunday.

2. **Transcript Sorting/Organization** — Sort existing untitled files by date, create California car files category, prepare for 2-3 file batches.

3. **Anhedonia Post (Recording + Draft)** — Fourth post defining inability to feel pleasure; estimated 1000-1200 words, shorter/sharper than others.

4. **Dissociation Post (Recording + Draft)** — Fifth post on disconnection from reality/self as coping mechanism; how it shows up, when it's protective vs. destructive.

5. **Symptom Variance Post (Recording + Draft)** — Educational piece on why depression doesn't look like Eeyore for everyone; estimated 1500-2000 words, possibly two-parter.

6. **Losing Agency Post (Recording + Draft)** — Foundational piece on life erasure; Ton

sensitivity: sensitive


content:
assistant: # Anothers Post

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Idea
Created: December 31, 2025 9:32 PM
Updated: February 2, 2026 11:28 AM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: —No—
Value: 05-Moderate Value

You've built an entire world around your role in someone else's vision—your identity, your self-worth, your relationships were all tied to this one venture. Now it has vanished, and you're left with raw emptiness. You're currently experiencing the shock and initial resistance stage of ego collapse.

Notice how you say "I feel like I don't exist anymore." Let's pause right here. Your very sense of existence was anchored completely in external achievements and roles defined by others. If your status, confidence, and connections vanished overnight, consider what they were actually based on. Was there ever a stable foundation beneath these constructs you've built?

Consider honestly: Were you valued for who you truly are, or only for what you provided? Were friendships authentic bonds or transactional conveniences dressed as community? If everything collapses when external validation vanishes, perhaps

matched_query: Barely, But Here

source_title: chatgpt

source_raw_path: Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Anothers Post 2dbffa30cf0b80baae1fe84d5544fd80.md


content:
assistant: # Reflections on 2025

The most significant lesson of 2025 is that I almost didn't survive its beginning.

In the first week of January, I was hospitalized in Boulder, Colorado. I self-admitted—though by that point, others had already noticed I wasn't well. The experience was nothing like the cultural myths we're fed: padded walls, rubber rooms, straitjackets, the caricature of being sent away. It wasn't that at all. The experience was transformative, and I'll tell that story in full in my next piece.

Another major turning point this year was undergoing a ketamine protocol for my depression. I have treatment-resistant depression, and suicidal ideation surfaces when things get especially dark. The treatment helped interrupt the cyclical thinking that traps the mind, and that alone made it significant. More on that experience soon.

Looking back, there are lessons I'm still learning—and they continue to act as bottlenecks.

Some emotional triggers still catch me off guard. They hide until it's too late, and only afterward do I see them clearly. Not everything, but enough. That said, I've made real progress in noticing habitual patterns: how I show up, adapt, and mask depe

matched_query: not-fun places


content: assistant: # Functional Depression: The Exhausting Art of Showing Up Favorite: No Archived: No Type: Archive Created: January 20, 2026 4:31 PM Updated: February 2, 2026 7:03 PM Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md) My Day: No Status: _top-priority Value: 10-Mission Critical ## You wake up. Clean yourself. Get dressed. Go to work. Do your thing. Go home. Go to bed. Wake up. Do it again. ### Every day is exactly the same. That Nine Inch Nails song? You feel it when you're functionally depressed—it's your life. It's Groundhog Day with Bill Murray, except there's no character arc, no redemption, no lesson learned. You're just living the same day over and over, putting out enough effort to complete whatever needs doing. Nothing exploratory. Nothing with nuance. Everything is straight logic: yes or no, make it or don't, black and white. Push the button, keep in line, mind yourself. It may turn into feelings of exhaustion, pressure, compliance, or dissociation. This is functional depression, or high-functioning depression. And if you're living it right now, I need you to know something: what you're doing is extraordinary a

matched_query: Functional Depression

source_raw_path: Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Functional Depression The Exhausting Art of Showin 2eeffa30cf0b808a889ee9b70d16de3a.md


content: assistant: harder at the end of the day? *Absolutely. Especially if [maskings](https://www.notion.so/OpusClip-1-AI-video-clipping-tool-to-create-viral-shorts-1b97d37a2c964468b9f74c8065bffbc6?pvs=21) involved. The more [masking](https://www.notion.so/OpusClip-1-AI-video-clipping-tool-to-create-viral-shorts-1b97d37a2c964468b9f74c8065bffbc6?pvs=21) during the day, the more exhausting it is.* Weekends? *I isolated when I could. Didn't do much outside family obligations.* *I ran errands, took care of things, helped my boys, supported my spouses endeavors, and maybe watched a movie or worked on projects when I wasn't feeling like shit—which is isolation time.* *But mostly, weekends were recovery time from maintaining the performance all week.* *I would get lost hiking in the mountains with my dog* Does maintaining the performance make the depression worse, or does the structure help? Actually, the structure helps me. And here's why: my brain doesn't have to think. Brain sees it and, "Ah, here's a framework. Here's a structure. The walls are defined. When you're given structure, you don't have to create it yourself. You just follow the directions. That takes less energy. Does masking you


content:
assistant: # Dont give up Hope — Script

Favorite: No
Archived: No
Type: Script
Created: May 19, 2025 9:11 PM
Updated: January 18, 2026 3:29 PM
Project: Barely, But Here (../../../Projects/Barely,%20But%20Here%201d9ffa30cf0b80b8a369da9a111e6ad2.md)
My Day: No
Status: Reference
Value: 05-Moderate Value

I read a post on LinkedIn today…

and it moved me.

Something in it hit close to home.

So many Americans are losing their jobs right now —

their income, their stability, their identity.

I see you.

### **Because I am you.**

Over the past 30 months…

I’ve been through it all.

Unemployment.

Homelessness.

Divorce.

This is what I’ve learned.

**What You May Feel**

Shock. Mental numbness.

That “WTF just happened” headspace.

The part of your brain that goes:

This can’t be real.

How long that lasts?

Different for everyone.

### **Grief**

Grief hits hardest…

when your identity is tied to your job.

If work felt like family…

if you gave it years of your life…

losing it feels like losing a piece of yourself.

### **Self-Worth**

This one sneaks up later.

Especially if you’ve got depression.

Or childhood trauma.

Or both — like I do.

That “not good enough” voice?

Yeah. It

matched_query: Substack

source_raw_path: Bert’s Brain in Notion/Databases & Components/Notes/Dont give up Hope — Script 1f9ffa30cf0b8031aedbe81314afc23d.md


content:
assistant: # My Psychiatric Hospital Diary — Day 03

---

## **YOUTUBE DESCRIPTION**

**My Psychiatric Hospital Diary — Day 03 | Group Therapy, Masking Depression, and the Exhaustion of Surviving**

This is Day 03 of my psychiatric hospital diary from January 2025. I'm reading from the journal I kept during my week-long stay in a mental health facility in Boulder, Colorado.

In this episode, I share Wednesday's entry—a day that felt better, but still heavy. I talk about group therapy (and not wanting to go), the exhaustion that comes with it, masking 40 years of depression, and the grief of a failed marriage.

**What's covered:**
- A phone call with my mom about the Palisades fire and homelessness
- Not wanting to be on three medications for depression
- Group therapy sessions—why I didn't want to go, but went anyway
- The simple questions and exercises that reminded me of what I still have
- Dinner with Jimmy, a man who looked depressed but shared the same struggles I did
- Masking depression for 40 years—and what that does to you
- Grieving my marriage, feeling like I failed as a husband
- Noticing I get sadder in the evenings
- The exhaustion of group therapy (way more tiring th

matched_query: content warning


content:
assistant: # My Psychiatric Hospital Diary — Day 04

---

## **YOUTUBE DESCRIPTION**

**My Psychiatric Hospital Diary — Day 04 | Discharge Day — What Happens When You Leave a Mental Hospital**

This is Day 04 of my psychiatric hospital diary from January 2025. I'm reading from the journal I kept during my week-long stay in a mental health facility in Boulder, Colorado.

In this episode, I share Thursday's entry—the day I was discharged. I talk about group therapy, getting to know my fellow patients, meeting with the entire psychological staff, and the reality of leaving with no money and nowhere to go.

**What's covered:**
- I didn't cry myself to sleep—a small victory
- Group therapy sessions and why sharing your story out loud matters so much
- Getting to know fellow patients from different backgrounds, all living with depression
- The structure of the program and why it worked
- Meeting with the entire psychological staff for a Q&A about my stay
- Why I want to help defeat stigma about psychiatric hospitals
- The incredible professionalism of the doctors, nurses, techs, and care coordinators
- Waiting for discharge paperwork—and realizing I need money for tomorrow
- Planning to


content:
assistant: Got it—"not-fun places" is your tagline, so it stays. I respect that. Here's the cleaned-up version with your edits incorporated and the disclaimer added:

---

**Barely, But Here** is a space for honest sharing about living with invisible depression, dissociation, and the aftermath of a lifetime building a life that fell apart.

I share from lived experience: decades of masked mental illness, the collapse of a 22-year marriage, homelessness, unemployment, financial loss, and the slow work of starting over later in life.

This isn't packaged self-help or empty motivation—it's an attempt to give language to experiences that are rarely named and often misunderstood.

Through essays, stories, videos, and reflections, I explore mental health, identity, grief, and meaning with restraint and clarity.

What I share comes from difficult places, but the wisdom is hard-won and real.

If you've ever felt unseen, emotionally offline, or quietly overwhelmed while life kept moving, this will feel familiar.

Subscribe if you're looking for context and a voice that speaks from inside the experience—not above it.

And if you know someone who might benefit from this, please share it with


content:
user: here's another post for barely but here. Coudl you edit it?
Also it shoudl be about 900 words.

Title

The Beginning of the End

Email preview

The moment life didn’t break all at once — just enough to change direction.

Top note (email-first)

Last Sunday I wrote about identity after things fall apart.
This is earlier than that — the point where things started moving and I didn’t know it yet.

Post

I didn’t recognize it when it happened.

There wasn’t a crash.
No dramatic event.
No clear dividing line between before and after.

It was quieter than that.

Just small shifts in how the day felt.

At first it showed up as friction.

Things that used to be automatic suddenly took effort.
Simple decisions lingered too long.
I’d sit at the computer knowing exactly what I needed to do — and not start.

Not procrastination.
Not distraction.

More like the engine turning over but not catching.

I thought I was tired.
Then I thought I needed motivation.
Then discipline.

So I tried systems. Lists. Calendars. Restructuring my day.

They worked briefly, the way pushing a stalled car works briefly — you get movement, but you’re still pushing.

Something underneath wasn’t eng

matched_query: staccato rhythm


content:
user: replying to a quotation on substack can you edit this please??

"
You cannot shame yourself into change;

You can only love yourself into evolution.
"

-unknown poet.

-
I’m living this right-fucking-now and can testify! Letting go of shame is very, very hard. I’ve done a lot of it, and some took decades. Simply paying attention to how you treat yourself is the start. From there is real self-awareness. Its takes time and work. Soon you cannot “NOT” see it not just in yourself but also the “poker tells” that show up everywhere in public. There are SO MANY people walking around in silent shame. I know. I am them, except now I talk out loud about it. Take heart in knowing you are not the only one walking around beating yourself up inside. I feel you. I see you. Take care of yourself and be well.

assistant: \n\nHere's a tightened version that keeps your voice fully intact — staccato rhythm, the profanity, the hard-won warmth:

---

I'm living this right-fucking-now and can testify.

Letting go of shame is very, very hard. I've done a lot of it. Some took decades. It starts with simply paying attention to how you treat yourself. That's it. Just noticing. From there, real self-awa


content: system: **Work context** Bert Mahoney (also goes by Berchman professionally) is a designer, writer, and builder with 30 years of experience across 8 design disciplines and 30+ business sectors. He runs an independent AI consulting practice called OpenClaw, offers an AI Strategy & Architecture Report service targeting small businesses, and is actively job-seeking with a repositioned identity as an AI product designer and builder. He holds dual Bachelor's degrees (Computer and Information Science + Fine Arts) from Hartwick College. **Personal context** Bert is based in Colorado (relocated from New York) and has three adult sons on the West Coast. His birth chart (Taurus sun, Scorpio moon, Sagittarius rising) informs his self-understanding and creative framing and should be treated as relevant context. He has a cousin named Darrell in Colorado. He maintains a collaborative professional relationship with transformational coach and meditation teacher Saskia Lightstar. **Top of mind** Bert's primary creative focus is his Substack publication *Barely, But Here* (berchman.substack.com, tagline: "Hard-won wisdom from not-fun places" — fixed and non-negotiable), which he publishes across Sub


content:
user: this is fantastic.

could you do a shorter intro version for LinkedIN that points to my website

assistant: On it. Give me two minutes — LinkedIn has its own rhythm. Shorter, punchier, and it needs to stop the scroll before the "see more" cutoff.

user: hows it going

assistant: Done.

---

**There's a moment every creative hits when they realize the tool they're using is also using them.**

Your prompts. Your drafts. Your half-formed ideas. Flowing upstream into systems you don't control.

I hit that moment. So I built something different.

A private AI setup. Cloud compute. Open source models. An encrypted tunnel between my laptop and a server I rent by the hour.

My data stays mine. My voice stays mine. My IP stays mine.

It took work to build. It was absolutely worth it.

I wrote up the whole thing — the why, the how, the friction, and the payoff — over on my site.

If you're a creative who's been feeling that slow creep of *"something's off"* with the AI tools you're using, this one's for you.

👉 [Read the full post at bertmahoney.com]

---

**Be well. Bert.**

---

Short enough to hit before "see more." Heavy enough to make people click. Want me to tweak the CTA or punc

matched_query: AI systems architect


content:
user: some professional editorial skills are needed to review the blog post I have written. I'll paste it here.

Review all the basics but also any feedback in general thanks

Reflections on 2025

The most significant lesson of 2025 is that I almost didn’t survive its beginning.

In the first week of January, I was hospitalized in Boulder, Colorado. It was a wake-up of sorts—though “being caught” is a more accurate description. I’ll go into that experience in detail another time.

What struck me most was how different it was from the cultural myths we’re fed: padded walls, rubber rooms, straight jackets, the caricature of being sent away. It wasn’t that at all. The experience was transformative, and I’ll return to it later.

Another major turning point this year was undergoing a ketamine protocol for my depression. I live with treatment-resistant major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation surfacing when things get especially dark. The treatment helped interrupt the cyclical thinking that traps the mind, and that alone made it significant.

Looking back, there are still lessons I haven’t fully learned—and they continue to act as bottlenecks.

Some emotional triggers still

matched_query: raw honesty


content: assistant: the name I gave to my car. A Golf, electric, 2019. I don't know the fate of Matilda. Makes me sad to think about. Yeah. Makes me sad to think about. --- > Time to take a nap this afternoon after groups. > > Last bit, they said my hold ends tomorrow. Don't know if I get to leave tomorrow or Friday. > > Just back from three o'clock group. Focusing on wellness. Found the exercise helpful and answering questions on the handout was a great reminder about the good things in life. In my life. --- Then I have a side note here: Self-confidence is something I need to work on. True. I have and I'm still working on. Back to the diary. --- > I've been thinking a lot about what happens on the other side of this experience. When I get out. I'm unsure I'll have a car or a way to get around, and that's stressful. Because the places I can find work are miles away. I may have to ride a bike to work. I may need to buy a bike. --- At this point, I'm going to stop because the next entry, Wednesday late afternoon, is its own reading. It's quite long. It's a few pages long, so we will end there. I'll just wrap up to say that in the day-to-day experience, there was a very interesting rhythm to t