[00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:29.820]   I've been having a hell of a time getting things published, and part of it is that I
[00:00:29.820 --> 00:00:46.500]   am in my own way, meaning I'm in control of part of it consciously.
[00:00:46.500 --> 00:00:59.740]   There is the component that I don't have control of, and that is the mental health
[00:00:59.740 --> 00:01:24.260]   aspect of it, so those are like uncontrollable tides that come and go on their own schedule.
[00:01:24.260 --> 00:01:30.180]   So they really don't give a shit about you, or what your plans are, or what it is you
[00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:39.440]   want to get done, because it's got it's plans and it's steel and it's things it wants to
[00:01:39.440 --> 00:01:47.140]   get done.
[00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:56.500]   You're one being, messing with your whole day, fucking it up, making it so you can't get
[00:01:56.500 --> 00:02:10.800]   anything done, or if you do, it feels minimal in really any context.
[00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:27.520]   So you're fighting against a disease, and your own inertia from said affliction, because
[00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:43.720]   it has it's own battery of things that come long for the ride, sorts of behaviors and
[00:02:43.720 --> 00:02:55.420]   ways being and showing up in the world.
[00:02:55.420 --> 00:03:03.140]   The patterns are so god damn obvious, and even knowing the patterns it's still really
[00:03:03.140 --> 00:03:16.340]   doesn't matter, particularly when you're dealing with something that's inside your skull.
[00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:42.300]   You know who really is driving the bus all day, I think it's all a fabrication, honestly.
[00:03:42.300 --> 00:03:50.380]   Today is the first day of March, the new month, it feels warm, it's sunny, there's some kind
[00:03:50.380 --> 00:04:02.660]   of weird, positive ion thing going on, it feels like an ocean thing, but I don't think
[00:04:02.660 --> 00:04:23.020]   it is, probably something with the mountains that I'm not tuned into yet.
[00:04:23.020 --> 00:04:50.940]   So, kind of a warm day out, god I'm getting here moving along, there is a lot of snow
[00:04:50.940 --> 00:05:18.580]   on the mountain house, these are the day I just don't feel clicked in.
[00:05:18.580 --> 00:05:42.260]   That really says Han Solo painting, H-A-N-S-O-L, play on words.
[00:05:42.260 --> 00:05:49.260]   [laughter]
[00:06:12.260 --> 00:06:42.100]   I have a massive uneasy feeling right now, no damn idea where it's sourced from.
[00:06:42.100 --> 00:07:11.900]   Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
[00:07:11.900 --> 00:07:37.900]   Walking over to Tresha's house, it's a good walk.
[00:07:37.900 --> 00:08:06.100]   Some of these trees look like they've seen fire.
[00:08:06.100 --> 00:08:31.860]   I think they've seen fire,