# Sleep & Night — Quotations

- Did you see game 7 last night?
- big win for Darragh's baseball team last night.
- didn't get home until 9:30 last night
- Primary root cause for most of my misery, and the Missouri I extend outward, has to do with my lack of sleep, or very poor sleep
- Getting into bed before 10pm each night.
- Perhaps I don't go to sleep right away, but my intention is to be IN bed.
- 99%+ of the time I'm going to bed after 12:30am
- Only thing I can peg it to is sleep
- well, actually yes I am going to be at the same time every night except its 1:30am
- Have started working to get more sleep as I've had consistent headaches (but not today).
- Also last night Liz and I travel to Los Angeles and met up with Jen Kniffin i'm sure you remember her from Skidmore.
- I was reflecting on the idea of vacation and why they are filled with activities that don't allow you to rest/relax.
- I'm thinking that a few days of rest would be good to do.
- Perhaps a 3 day weekend of rest.
- realizing that my lack of sleep affects my ability to handle everything coming at me, and in particular the attitude that shows up with other people who have to deal with me (Liz & my kids)
- third is last night we had an end-of-year team party for the soccer team.
- hope the rest of your saturday went well.
- sleep has been troublesome, but I know its likely the key to everything for me
- slept about 5 hours last night, maybe 6 the day before
- Last night Darragh gets into the car for the first time and what's his comment?
- slept almost 9 hours last night
- Past couple nights I've forced myself to get 8 hours of sleep.
- Getting to bed a tiny bit earlier, but I make myself sleep in a bit more in the morning.
- I've been sleep deprived for many years now.
- So the challenge is to awaken with awareness to help "stop it" before it takes place.
- Heard this morning that friends of ours, who used to live/work here at Thacher for 20+ years and left a couple years ago, that their 13 year old daughter committed suicide last night.
- Glad to hear she's sleeping and fever is down.
- Aidan and Declan are still sleeping upstairs.
- I've already started sleeping 7-8 hours the past 2 nights.
- saw that last night
- driving kids to sleep—totally get it.
- I told Liz about it, and she got on me about drinking coffee and sleep issues
- Bad night of sleep for me.
- Happy Friday!Replied to your email last night
- Working rest of day, have lots to do
- Need more of both, and more sleep
- Is that photo from last night?
- I'm alive and awake 😊
- I've been SO terrible at going to be at night and I am paying the price BIG time.
- Back to bed for 2.5 hours.
- Had a dream that made me relive time from 4 years ago when I was deeply depressed and not able to be a good dad
- Imagine I don't feel well because of my margaritas last night.
- better sleep, better eating controls in the evening.
- not eating shit late at night (sweet tooth cravings)
- in bed every day no later than midnight—preferably 11pm
- This past weekend Thacher boys soccer played in the CIF Division 7 state championships (I'm assistant coach) We lost on Saturday night 5-4.
- The sound will likely pound through your body all night.
- Besides I get to spend the first night with liz since she got back on Tuesday
- A break from work, a chance to rest, a chance to have an unscripted week.
- Watching rest today.
- Really bad teeth grinding last night.
- I watched about an hour of the program last night.
- Lack of confidence, stress about many, many things, lack of sleep, anxiety and depression mood swings.
- Sleep?
- Liz is leaving for camping today for the rest of the end of the week.
- you look sleepy too
- I'm good right now, I'm just getting to work after trying to get a little extra sleep this morning.
- Sorry to hear you've been struggling on the sleep front
- They we very tears when we told them last night
- I also have to take Declan to soccer practice today, and then tonight we had a planned poker night with faculty—that is still on.
- For me I've had my sleep interrupted pretty harshly.
- I've gone to bed since Monday at 2 AM 3 AM and 1:30 AM.
- My Uncle Michael Mahoney passed away last night after a long fight with cancer.
- thanks for sending that sleep email.
- Tough night with Darragh last night.
- I've not had good sleep past 3 nights.
- Certainly sleep, for me, plays a role
- Not getting enough sleep every day.
- Therefore am I not awake?
- Buddhists who are awake and aware, will say that they are not free of suffering, or mental stress.
- I have to and for that I am awake.
- Glad to know I'm awake
- And today I've made and commitment to myself to spend at least one hour a night going through that stuff I put off perpetually
- I got 8 hours of sleep last night.
- Got 7+ night before
- Did you get your hour of work done last night?
- didn't get my hour in last night.
- I did get fairly decent sleep 7+, but woke up 2 times in the middle of the night
- Last night after working 6 to 8 hours on styling an application, my app crashed as I was saving and erased the file.
- The amount of swearing was a bit much last night
- That was my emoji last night
- It was weird having a conversation with both Declan and Darragh last night about the event.
- Saw it last night in the theater it was quite moving
- https://www.elegantthemes.com/layouts/food-drink/restaurant-landing-page/live-demo
- https://bedfordcheeseshop.com/pages/new-menus-revised
- currently doing last of dishes from last night
- Just pushing through a lot of work, and trying to get to the holiday to take a rest.
- We need 40 days and 40 nights here to really get out of the drought
- Also the Met Opera is streaming shows every night as well.
- Liz is in the studio, Declan and Darragh are still sleeping, and Aidan is off to do work.
- Liked "It's getting better - no doing assisted strength moves - only where sling at night and when I leave the house"
- checkout the night time pic in the thread
- me: eat, sleep, work, worry, rest, repeat
- Declan got that last night at soccer banquet
- I did work thru rest of C workbook.
- Once back from that I'm home rest of afternoon
- Been sleeping on the couch for 2 months.
- And while she did fight back (woken up dozens of times to late night fights,screaming, breaking dishes, etc) he ultimately had the upper hand.
- Liked "I am putting Lilly to bed.
- If she goes to sleep quickly I'll text back tonight.
- Had it done last night, but need to clean up a few things.
- Was playing darts 2 nights ago and put a new set of stems/flights on and noticed the colors were quite cool.
- What about rest of content?
- Took the weekend to rest.
- must have gotten cold last night
- In a week (?) and perhaps stay in CO for 2 weeks total?Check your family schedule, check with Sarah, and lmk.Plan on working, hiking, visiting, sleeping, and generally staying as 👻 like as possible.
- I tend to be a night owl and like to tinker and work at night
- Aidan is here, came back last night with his girlfriend Cory and their dog.
- We still complete it today, but get to sleep on it, edit on Sat—deliver on Sun
- sent pdf last night.
- Liked "Getting some sleep nowI will be up at 4am to finalize the proposal Please add your final input , suggestions and graphic I'll be sending it to her at 8am tomorrow"
- Liked "Keep an eye out - could be in house - also it was a bit windy last night may have blown around "
- be fun to spend one night in Denver.
- museums by day, restaurant+bar at night - no driving home 😴
- Good morning Hope the day is off to decent start.Sorry I did t strip the bed 😬Also, did I leave my big fat headphones there?Think I left them charging in the room
- Also it's "poker night" in our house.
- 2 xmases in a row spending night alone...
- Liked "Cool - I'll check in a bit / bedtime for the girls begins"
- Liked "Putting girls to bed"
- long night / early morning
- About to cut Aidans hair, and then working on my website rest of the night.
- good night
- My mom is at home for the night.
- My Dad spent the night at Albany Med.
- spoke to him the other night on FaceTime (already spoke on phone previously) and to see his face and how he responds
- Her reply was direct and cutting (at least the way I heard it and experienced it) and I was crying within 5 mins and the rest of the day felt awful—as you saw on text.
- I need one more night of decent sleep tonight and then I should feel back to myself tomorrow.
- k, bed for me too
- I'm headed to sleep.
- Did play darts with my brother last night, a place in Albany.
- Going to spend the night up there
- also still processing an emotional outburst from my father as we were going out to dinner last night.
- I'm tired and ready for bed.
- it just came into my brain!Its telling me I should not get out of bed.
- Willow mostly unaffected except at night.
- I came across this position last night while clicking around.
- Was in the bedroom folding clothes when it happened.
- Going to work a bit more when I come back, but after that I think I'm going to sleep
- All last night after talking until 2am, and then woke up crying at 6am
- Crying for over an hour now.Don't want all of this to be real, I wish it would all just go away like a bad dream.I wanna wake up from this nightmare that my life is turned into
- Last night had an idea to write all that I've learned about the WHY things happened the way they did for me: the reason, triggers, and underlying causes.
- Only slept 4 hrs last night
- Showering and then veg on documentary.Yoga Nidra for sleep.
- Liked "Off to bed"
- I keep chasing NOT to be manipulated, but here I sit in my tears, ok...good night
- One can dream...
- Also mind is making up stories about last night.I gave Elizabeth a card and small wrapped gifts for our anniversary last night when she returned.
- 365 days of not knowing what's happening and sleeping on the couch.
- She was here a short while when she returned from camping in May, but when my parents came to town for graduation in June, she stayed down at Joannas so my parents could sleep in the master bedroom.
- I looked at the site and see the footer is the same on News+Events (blog) and the rest of the site.Is everything set?
- Liked "Bedtime for girls I'll check later "
- I'm working on this Toptal portfolio I'm sending to them tomorrow night.I need someone else to look at it and click on the links.If we could do that online together, that would be great.
- have a good night and maybe we can talk tomorrow
- Liked "Yes have a good night.
- May sleep 💤 out here tonight.
- I wasn't awake and aware at how amazing things have been.
- I'm heading to sleep.
- Stretching then bed.I feel forlornI feel lostI feel sadness
- Liked "Bedtime for the girls.
- survive another day so I can go to sleep and not be conscious and suffer
- spent all morning meditating and using tools to try and loosen up my neck.Over the past month I've started to develop bad neck / upper back tightness and nerve pinching.Stress, poor sleep, etc.
- Have had to create a backup of all her files, fry the drive, and restore to factory settings.
- Its doing the restore to factory right now.
- But no matter what, I feel incredibly broken down with just enough energy to get out of bed and pretend I'm doing ok.
- I'm sleeping on a hardwood floor all week here.
- Every day I wake up and dont want to get out of bed because I know I'm going to go thru the day incredibly depressed.
- Anyhow, done texting now.Going to sleep and prey the lord take me before I wake.
- Yes, at Airbnb 2 bedroomLiz in one, Aidan and Cori (his girlfriend) in the other.Darragh is on the couch
- Depression is BIG TODAY and was late last night.
- Laughed at "Get some rest today."
- Ok, done.I got triggered before dinner at this beautiful Oceanside restaurant and Liz just shut off towards me at that moment.
- Sleeping on the floor or couch after 14 months is both sad and painful emotionally and physically (my back).
- It's my reminder every night that I made a mistake and I'm going to be reminded of this the remainder of my days alive.
- I cried myself to sleep last night and woke up crying crying this morning.Makes me wonder if I cry in my sleep
- I wasn't awake.I wasn't present.And then it was mostly taken away.Now that I am awake and can be present, the suffering I feel for not being is immense.
- I can have my worst nightmare in my head and not be a puddle now.Most of the time I'm unattached, but once and a while emotions hit like a wave out of no where, some random trigger, etc
- will be curious to see how I sleep this weekend and how I feel come Monday
- I'm most likely gonna be up all night so text me if you want
- She said she was done the night it happened
- So I've lived an entire year of my life incredibly depressed and anxious and have had my worst nightmare and worst fear come to be real
- I sat on the end of her bed crying for a long time
- You can go to sleep
- I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight.
- Besides you being awake I hope that I didn't wake up anybody else there
- And don't even begin to dream of the idea that I would tell Liz it's her fault for forgetting me all the time that led to that night.None of that night was her fault
- Things before that night maybe, but my actions that night or what created the problem
- I am not trying to be a pain in the ass, I am just a little slow in the brain from all the crying and it being the middle of the night morning
- I'm still awake, and don't feel tired really
- Ping me tomorrow and let me know how you're doing after you get some sleep
- And I'm going to sleep""
- I did the repeat thing about my future and now I am going to bed
- Hi, I'm awake
- Im awake but honestly wish I didn't wake up
- off to bed soon
- From moment eyes open until I pass out each night from exhaustion (mental) it's no fun.
- She also mentioned some thing the other night that came back to me and that was, you would stand next to me on looking over me while I was sleeping.
- Everything else, body language piece everything was like any other night we did massage, etc.I am getting much clearer on this
- Or restraint because she could unleash
- Bad night of sleepGo figureMy calendar is open today
- Also last night I came up with some questions that I don't know the answers to, and they're really meant for Liz.
- I thought I would sleep well too, but I am sleeping on the floor, so there is that.
- Even with cushions I found myself waking up three or four times in the night
- Asked to sleep on it, no problem.
- I still haven't recovered from Friday night
- Repeat your mantras Put on some good sleeping music and get some rest"
- Liked "Sleep well 😴 "
- Then sleep
- Viva La Sleep!
- Vive le Sleep
- Liked "Going to bed early.
- Get a good nights rest.
- Pu on some good sleep meditation "
- Some nights I lose hope.
- good for restaurants, etc
- after midnight
- Off to bed"
- Restoring a database on siteground before import and starting it again.
- yes, signed docs and sent link to zip file on Dropbox last night
- going to use time to rest.
- had to restore database from 4 days ago
- You do that inside of sight ground, you can go into the back ups and tell her to just restore the backup not the files I mean just the database not the files
- get rest when you can 😊
- went to market with boys last night and spent $98.Be glad you'll not have teenage boys.stomachs are black holes.
- well off to bed
- Another Saturday night, and I ain't got nobody...Depressing.Same as it ever was.
- Saturday night and I'm boredWhen I'm not poor in a few weeks I'm going to start going out on weekends.
- We've had extremely good weather the past four or five days, cool at night in the 40s and 70s in the daytime
- Liked "Enjoy - sleep 💤 is calling "
- Woke up after a few hours of sleep and can't stop crying 😭 My head is splitting from headache.
- "But make it quick" is what she said everytime, so she can get back to sleep
- I know that is a gigantic ask, but our session is tomorrow night and want to give our therapist time to review.the delay is on me.
- Loved "Sleep well.
- I don't feel that all the time, of course, but that moment in meditation resonated through the rest of the day, when I did tap into it, and it was very powerful.
- Alaska.BIG cold front.Last night on my deck playing darts...
- It's now five in the morning and I haven't had one minute of sleep.
- i'm gonna try to go to sleep, and if I fall asleep, I actually am praying that I don't wake up because I'm tired of this, tired of my life that is just getting worse for me.
- I'm awake and have been for about 20 minutes
- Got a little under four hours of sleep, brilliant it's gonna be a great day 😢
- Last night and texting with Joanna she kept sharing her relationship with David.
- Also, last night, I realized it's very painful to go into my digital photo collection.
- I didn't know that you could cry in your sleep.My question for her is how do we go from the relationship?
- I can give you a heads-up on last night's session as well.
- The dream I had about that had come true
- I'm off to bed.Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the universe will take on meSo when I die before I wake
- At that time I was still deeply depressed but also suddenly WIDE AWAKE after that experience.
- That night of Jul3 I was only looking to feel like I existed.
- But am I expected to walk around the rest of my life like this.
- I'm frightened the depression is going to come out of the closet at night and get inside me again
- K, good night
- Sleeping is hard with increasing tinnitus.
- I woke up in the middle of the night with my brain thinking...
- And as a stubborn Taurus that will be the Bert she'll experience for the rest of her life.Bitter—you fucked me over-Bert
- Did you read my writing from late last night?Before I started riffing this AM?If not check it out
- Had some thoughts before going to bed that I want to make sure you see it
- Late at night I sit around and just ruminate in my head which is an any fucking good makes me just want to check out
- last night
- Also doing my best to give no less than 2 hours after eating before going to bed.
- No matter how I approach it, inside meditation, outside, subconscious I wake up crying in the night.
- Listen to poems books and maybe go do bed.
- I saw one of them right next to the moon last night when the sun was setting.
- Liked "I'll check text befor me bed"
- It's here every day, all day no matter what I do.Meditate, sleep well, eat well, exercise, etc.
- When you texted last night and said 10 Pacific I thought it was Pacific it was 10 your time.
- I see a couple hundred dollars worth of restaurant bills from this past week.
- She's been to this restaurant in town twice now in just over a month
- Plus over $240 in restaurants
- That's 2 restaurant visits for 240
- Plus if the car craps on me I can get a tow, and then an Uber to the airport late at night.
- Going to sleep in the car until 4 AM or 345.
- Just got done with the evening crying Going to go to sleep.
- At least sleeping I'm not conscious to feel the depression
- tomorrow night we go to a fancy dinner.
- And restaurants are top-notch.
- Or I met a restaurant and I suddenly have to cry?If I don't mask, people would be very disturbed by me, and to be in my presence.
- Laughed at "She keeps escaping the bedroom "
- I totally get it go get her to bed.
- After the meetings tomorrow, all my colleagues take off and fly out however, I am staying the night and flying out Friday morning.
- Otherwise I would end up sleeping on the floor in an airport to get my flight Friday morning.
- Liked "Get the best sleep you can.
- I'm going back to the hotel to cry for the night.
- I'm headed off to bed
- Now I lay meDown to sleep🛌 Pray the aliens 👽 My soul to keepIf I should croak 🐸 Before I wakePray 🙏 the universe My soul to take
- Liked "Putting Willow to sleep"
- Practice today between work sessions.I grab a quick 1015 minutes of throwing multiple times a day plus shoot for an hour at least every night
- Sure enough, without fail, I find myself in a puddle of tears going to bed.I can't not feel suffering.
- I've come to the realization that I will feel this suffering for the rest of my life.
- So in the end, it's my job to sit around the rest of my life and suffer perpetually so that other people can feel good
- Suffering will be there every day, the rest of my life
- I have to practice, if I ever have a dream of beating, Tim Lucas, Rastaman, as he is known.
- Rent on a one bedroom in Ojai STARTS at $2k a month.
- There's a part of my brain that's been there for years, but the rest of me needs to catch up
- K, going to distract myself with some YouTube and try to go to bed early.
- K, feeling bedtime tired over here
- In bed for 10 hours and I still feel exhausted.
- Been awake not even an hour and I'm done with today already
- I still have to find time to pack some boxes before bed.
- Night.
- Liked "Heading to bed a few.
- Shared- many hard days- deep depression- Basic things, work, eat, sleep, repeat- no life for almost three years - in a weird space - groundless
- Also shared that I found this lady last night.
- What does the rest of your day look like?
- Then I could just text the AI anytime day or night tel:247365.
- I would say if she didn't eat some thing by maybe late Monday afternoon Monday night I might take her in on Tuesday but as long as she's hydrated that whole time you should be good
- Maybe give her Sunday night
- Just done with a hot oil and a hot stone massage for an hour and oh I was ready to just go to sleep on the table.
- Aiming to have all this done before bed 😊
- feeling the desire to isolate, hermit, and sleep
- I wish I could dream and find myself sitting at the kitchen table with her.
- Also been texting with Helena the woman who I met online last night.
- Might be fun for bedtime stories.
- Looks like 9 nights at Lake Casitas to camp tent is $382.
- Seriously though I've been texting with her every day since last Tuesday pretty much since I wake up till I go to bed.
- Dude you awake?
- sleep this past week has been mummy like
- If not totally cool, but I thought I would ask, he does nothing but lay in sleep he's 14 and getting elderly.
- Drive one load down, unpack it, drive back up, park, hop in the other car, drive it down, unpack, go to the store, come home and call it a night
- Liked "We will be back in Longmont tomorrow night to star..."
- Btw here's a pic Helena sent me last night
- Question for you, do you think you'll spend the rest of your life in Colorado?
- Think today is a rest day
- Went to bed upset last night crying.
- Woke up it's been light rain all night and my stuff is soaked
- Would like to camp there for one or two nights and hike the area and see the sights.
- I just need to use the restroom.
- I have the UpdraftPlus backup files I can restore
- Restarted the droplet
- I was bumping into things digitally speaking — last night
- May camp up at Twin Peaks off campus here the couple nights before I go.
- I may sleep while the car charges 😊
- K fixing the rest of th site right now
- FYI My day is online for a bit.—some finance stuff—clothes selection for summer, rest in storage—reviewing what's coming in the car with me
- Slept in it last night but not setup as tent.
- Got a great camping spot for 2 nights.
- I'd be happy to camp outside in the car tent for a few days if somebody wants to sleep in the room I will occupy
- I am about to go to sleep.
- $35 a night, views of everything
- Going to go use the restroom before I hit the road.
- The construction through Las Vagas last night at midnight stopped me still for 15 mins last night.I'm glad I drove thru that last nightCan't imagine what it's like during the day with full traffic
- Like I said I've been camping nearly 2 weeks.Sleeping in car or tent
- I've had a few in particular uncomfortable nights
- George for 50 bucks a night with free Wi-Fi etc.
- I might do that, I got like four hours sleep last night
- Will be nice to sleep in a bad, hot shower I could spend the rest of the day researching
- Questioned "Book it for two nights"
- At the restaurant I'm driving over there right now
- Slept in since it's the first real bed.
- I'm showering and going to bed, getting up to do the Angels Peak view hike tomorrow, first thing in the morning.
- My hunch is that I may not make it to Moab today unless I'm willing to drive into the night so I may spend the night somewhere before Moab just not sure.
- It said I had 80% battery this morning, last night it said I was full.
- Otherwise it will be a quick night.
- I was just going to troll in downtown Moab, and then go chill in camp, the rest of the day and do some art and relax.
- However, I would definitely be in the mood for some thing other than eggs prosciutto or mozzarella Sunday night.
- Loved "In case I forgot last night.
- I can help you get the new site up fast.You can focus on Woo and products, I can do the rest of the design to make it match current site in Divi.
- This is the little restaurant I kept driving by I was trying to tell you about
- and that's no sleep
- I'm at 68 hours if I put 2 8 hour sleeps in.
- But I can sleep on SOME recharges.
- Had dinner at her house last night.
- Waukee Iowa15 miles west of Des Moines.I have a campground spot reserved nearby for the night.
- But I'll sleep in a bed 🛏️
- K sleepy time for me almost 11
- Attraction and feelings are mutual (and intense 😊)I've been on the phone with her every night.
- Resting up 🤣
- I'd rather go now and sleep at the airport then wake up at 4:30 in the morning
- Liked "Enjoy your last night - we can pick up tomorrow ni..."
- Came on last night.
- Sweats all night
- Also did editing of article last night, doing some more now, then will ponder your question
- Mentally exhausted from being awake
- Yesterday was fun, but then went south last night.
- And struggling mentally hard last night.The feels are hard this morning.
- Hope you have a good rest of the day.
- I made a promise to my kid, and if I sat here and let soccer season go by, that would haunt me the rest of my life.
- The plan is to spend the night at Tre and Dan‘s.
- Depending on how many days there are until the beginning of November, I know I want to stop at Zion and hike angels Peak so thinking I may stay with you for certainly one maybe two nights
- Liked "Yes, came to front range last night - Doctors and ..."
- Got in too late last night
- I realize it's a school night but one would not hurt.
- Are the kids still awake or is it bedtime for school?
- I was reflecting on yesterday even before I got to Green River last night.It's weird, but I feel I was meant to meet the tow truck driver.
- I will stop now because I'm gonna go buy some beer, and then I'm gonna go sleep in my car because I'm fucking exhausted.Tomorrow I should easily be at Lake Casitas
- It would've been super easy for me to check out and then pass all my pain onto the boys to carry the rest of their lives.
- I'm still sitting here watching the waves come in and I'm gonna go crash at Walmart in Ventura and sleep in my driver seat.
- I've gotten incredibly comfortable sleeping in my car.
- And when I can jump off a bunch of my shit to the storage place, it will be like I've gone from a twin bed to a king make that a California king.
- I honestly have no qualms about sleeping in my car
- meaning, they can go hide with friends for three or four days and sleepover and you will not know what they are up to
- Last night I texted and said.Hey, I figure you know I'm back.
- One thing that really sux.Nights and mornings are incredibly lonely and have been for years now.
- Looks like I'll be sleeping at Walmart tonight.
- And then the rinse showers near restrooms.
- Anyhow, wishing you a good night of rest, be well
- Currently at Starbucks waiting for my clothes to wash before I head down to the beach for the rest of the day
- It was a consistent path down multiple dark nights of the soul.The depression wants me to suffer, over and over, deeper and deeper.
- Chilly overnight but can't beat the soundtrack for sleeping
- Next two nights are homeless mode
- Then ?Then find somewhere to park and sleep
- The stress of finding somewhere to sleep is also on me
- All I know is, I'm headed to a dark place and I can feel it every day.The holidays are coming up and I'm gonna spend them alone sleeping in my car.
- I started doing it last night and I'm gonna try to get it all done this morning if not later tonight after the soccer game.
- Made it through a rainy night, and the clouds are clearing out a bit this morning
- Just spent an hour and a half speaking to her on the phone, and we are meeting for drinks tomorrow night.
- Have a date for drinks tonight with a woman named Jan who is originally from London UK 🇬🇧 plus she's a designer Spoke on the phone for over an hour last night and decided to meet tonight.
- And T I R E DVERY T I R E DBut sleep doesn't help.
- Just got word she's hunkering down for the night.
- Been awake for an hour and I am ready for day to be over
- Weird thing is is I didn't drink any alcohol last night.
- Had something to drink the night before but now it's coming at me no matter what.Yay me
- I could do more car sleeping, but feels weird in Ojai.But not Vta
- I may just go to Ventura for another night in the car and then maybe start camping tomorrow.
- I'll probably send you a Google map pin where I'm at when I stop for the night
- I'm likely going to hit Walmart and then will ping you the map location once my car is parked for the night.
- Hi, awake for a bit.I won't lie waking up on the street is triggering makes me feel like shitIts very depressingThe feeling of "Ive lost at life is all over you"
- I thought "better off dead" for years now, and nothings changed my mind on that.i'm carrying mine and Lizs shit on my back for the rest of my life.
- I am literally in lizard brain survival mode.Not sure why, but feeling zero energy.Its like I didnt sleep.
- Random: Woke myself up the other night from a deep sleep where I was fistfighting this guy....
- I lose that sensitive side to myself, and become hardened and fucking cranky asshole.Or I get lucky and die in my sleep.
- Now I'm going to go buy a can opener for my tuna fish can and go sit at my campsite alone for the rest of the day
- Woke up feeling nothing.Half my tent fell on me while sleeping.My teeth hurt a lot.
- Been grinding them down to nubs while sleeping since this started over a year ago.Never thought I'd be homeless for the holidays and lose the family I spent my life building and raising.
- It's my heart that will NEVER recover from this.I think I'm just going to be alone rest of my life because then no one can hurt me
- For the rest of my life.
- Awake
- I haven't got mine yet, I didn't reply to their text until late last night about 11.
- Will they let you buy one of those cool brown UPS uniforms?Just think you'd have a Halloween costume for the rest of your life
- She told me last night she can't wait to to devour me
- Had such a great evening last night.
- Conversation so fluid and absorbing that I didnt notice we were the last people in the restaurant and shut it down.Being with her is effortless and relaxing.
- Liked "I'm off to bed - sleep well 😴 Talk with you tomo..."
- Next two days nights are a bit harsh.
- No money, negative bank account balance and pbjs That's all I got until I get paid Friday.Sleeping in car on streets 35° when I wake up Is this rock bottom?
- I get paid on Wednesdays at midnight.
- Feeling ashamed, and a failure again.Sucks to cry yourself to sleep in that situation.
- I'm not sure I'll ever be able to not feel shame sleeping on the streets
- Also, applied to this app last night.
- Laying in the back of my car crying myself to sleep parked out on the street somewhere.
- Last night and this morning are the pop
- It sucks to sleep with your knees bend every night because you don't have a space big enough to put your legs out straight
- Maybe my life is supposed to suck ass hard for the rest of my time, who knows
- You might be sleeping now.
- Says call me when you want to go out and date.I took all my shit, and gave her the remote to her gate back.Now sitting in a parking lot.Figuring out where I'm gonna spend the rest of my day
- Gee why do I seem to be restless, or dissatisfied, etc.
- Even tho I'm sleeping I think I either have sleep apnea, or I am sleeping, but the gigantic fucking mountain of stress weighs so heavy that I need more sleep than is possible.
- Sell a set of Notion templates to someone that helps them run a restaurant, checklist, forms, processes, links, videos, you name it it could do it all.
- Telling them of my situation of sleeping in my car since October and having nothing left to live on— and rejections to the rooftops.Anyhow.
- Very poor sleep last night, maybe 5 hours.Woke up at 4am, stressed the fuck out and crying.
- Feeling incredibly discouraged and defeated today.Have darts tonight at 7pm.Will be weird to play darts and drink water all night.
- I was busy making a valentine that was cooly received last night, and had my exam in the afternoon, prepping beforehand and then was wiped out afterwards.
- When I restored just the DB my user isn't in there
- Am at the storage unit now doing some reorganization of my storage space for better access to my clothes, and also a chance to clean out my car after sleeping in it for now
- She got triggered because she couldn't get a hold of me last night (fell asleep) and this morning (woke up early and got to work) she tried to call but phone was in WORK mode.
- I was looking forward to this night 😢😢😢
- Saw she texted and was expecting to connect this am.I was up early so I didn't bug her so she could sleep.
- Liked "Heading to bed "
- Minutes into being awake and overwhelmed with emotions
- I went out and had some beers with Jenica last night.
- But did not spend the night.
- Liked "Hola - been sleeping a bit - the overnights will t..."
- I dream of having an apartment blocks from the ocean and inviting her over as long as she likes.
- Dream investment
- How is ur sleep?
- Liked "Need to get some - up 50 hrs on 6 hrs ish sleep "
- Have a chance to look things over last night?
- All tied up.This third and final game would decide whether our team wins the entire night, or if the other team wins, we go to a tiebreaker.We play the third game and we did really well.
- The match and the whole nightI throw my dart I hit the red Bullseye FOR A SECOND TIME!!
- And I already screwed up.I drove back to Ojai this morning after sleeping in car in Vta.
- EA Ate the rest and it's on hold
- TWO BOUNCEOUTS on the reddit last night, etc
- Possible for you to front me $50 until Sunday night at latest?Send to Venmo?
- Waiting for Venmo transfer so I can put $10 into the car and dash the rest of the day.
- But I could look into a plug-in or somethingIf you could let me know before you go to bed, that would be super cool
- Emphasized "I'll be able to look 👀 tonight - bedtime set for ..."
- My team lost at darts 🎯 last night, sucked
- Dont know when you get up, but let me know when you're awake 😊
- Liked "Sleep 🛌 time"
- Liked "Finishing up a few things- then going to sleep 🛌 ..."
- Last night I got triggered by not making the dart team.
- Are you going to be up all night and super busy busy?
- At storage and packing up for another night in the car.
- I'll reconnect when I'm done moving for the night
- I'm tired and I've only been awake an hour.
- Feeling like shit.Have 24 miles of charge in my car.Stuck in Ojai$9 on über card$5 on DoorDash CardNeed $10 to resupply my charging card.Last night was chips and chocolate granola for dinner.
- This is the artist, Joe Frank, who I'm riffing on He's a SoCal late night radio hero
- I would add...Rest.Reflect.Resurrect.Thoughts??
- Still awake over there?
- Liked "Off to sleep.
- You awake?
- Maybe I'll just stay alone the rest of my life.
- Dude you should sleep and go do you.
- Liked "I slept last night"
- I closed my eyes, went unconscious and then opened them back up in the morning what I did in between I wouldn't call sleep.
- You among the living, or is it awake?
- Anyhow, I'm parked in A rainy parking lot alone and going to sleep.Pray the lordMy soul to take Before I wake
- I was messing around with AI last night and looked into possibly searching for jobs in Cork, Ireland — seriously.
- Awake but tired
- You can buy a house, but you can't buy a family.You can buy a bed, but you can't buy sleep.You can buy a book, but you can't buy wisdom.You can buy a watch, but you can't buy time.
- I'm walking to my car parked in the park in town where I've been sleeping all week.
- I had hoped to be sleeping up in the mountains tonight.
- I just want to go to sleep and not wake up
- Interestingly I woke up as clear and well rested as I've ever felt in so long I cannot remember.
- I may have actually slept last night instead of having Fight Club in my sleep.
- Asleep awake?!
- Friday night dinner evening before
- My neck is all fucked up this morning from sleeping in my car
- Then decide if I'm just gonna stay here in Ojai and go to sleep or drive to Ventura, go out where there's people, and then go to sleep somewhere I don't know what to do save money or get out there.
- My subconscious isn't letting me sleep at night.I have fight club every night.😟
- Lost and losing.K, parked on a street in Ventura and going to sleep now
- Only up for an hour and that brain dump has me ready for bed.
- I must have been in Fight Club last night
- Maybe by 3pm but I may head back to Ojai at 2:45 to dash.I'm still very tired.Had Fight Club in my sleep again.
- Great for sleeping
- Youll sleep in minutes 😊
- I need to not be thinking about where I'm sleeping every day
- Go to sleep.Wake up do it again.Now repeat for 11 months.Sounds fun doesn't it.😊
- Is it awake time for you now?
- About to go into Starbucks and try to do some work on the computer.I'm scheduled to DoorDash from 6 to 8 and then I'll probably just go to bed in my car in the park
- Well, it's another dayI'm conscious but feel like I didnt sleep last night
- Must be another night of fight club
- Couldnt go back to sleep so I'm in Starbucks at 7:30am back to work.
- Feeling incredibly sad and alone going to bed now.
- That wherever I am I shouldn't be because I'm homeless and don't belong.The feeling of "not belonging" to the rest of everyone around me is huge and strong.
- I have a good meditation sleep guy on YT if your interested
- Variety of sleep meditations
- Btw, last night I realized that with the .ai domain
- Found a few really good gigs online last night.
- Listen to Michael the sleep hypnotists
- Have a client meeting at 8am and then working all day, and then go park somewhere else and sleep.
- Sleep and shit too
- You got me a four pack of margaritas in a can and I'm gonna go shoot darts in my storage place for the rest of the night and spend the day by myself because I don't have anywhere to fucking go
- Thought you'd be sleeping
- Have you gone out at night and looked for the aurora borealis?
- Awake 2 mins and want the day to be over
- Got full rejection from Jenica last night Just what I need in my life more significant rejection
- I do know that I will never fully trust someone the rest of my life.
- Or good night 😴
- you among the awake yet?
- Yeah, I wish I could go back to sleep too
- Weird to get no response from you.I'm off to sleep.
- Its what I had last night after darts.
- Granola bars during day, tortilla chips at night.I can't stop thinking about not having money.
- Where is the work?Where is the money?Where do I sleep?Where can I pee and 💩Do I smell bad?
- Last night I was lucky and barely made enough to put 10 bucks on my car charging card and was able to get enough battery to get to Darts and back.
- I get to go lay in my car by myself for the rest of the night Bored out of my mind When you don't interact with people everyday it sort of fucks with your head.
- My next DoorDash is in until tomorrow night dinner time so good to hang out by myself till then.
- Not only your dreams but everything you got might be gone tooThat's how it hits
- Just woke up 10 mins ago Already had an intense cry and now a headache has replaced it.I cry when I wake up I cry when I go to bedBeen that way for a long time
- Spent the money last night on food and money all gone poof
- Guess I'm off to park and sleep for the night.
- Well, I'm done sitting in the parking lot of the supermarket and I guess I'm gonna head over to the park for the night.
- Day or night this week?
- Rest of day is work and art
- I just parked my car for the night.Going to run a couple of tests on my website and then call it a night
- No money 4 coffee 😕Spotify took the $17 from account last night and broke again.
- Liked "Good morning- I'm going to bed.
- I think I'm doing fight club again in the middle of the night.
- If I'm awake and not working towards something then I will begin to get physical symptoms.
- I'm gonna go park my car in the park for the night and just fucking stay there cause I got nothing else
- I'm just pissed because it's the one thing I do that takes my mind off of my bullshit and I can't do it so I get to stew in my fucking head all night
- Between the stress of trying to find a job, the stress of figuring out where I'm gonna fucking sleep every night the stress of do I have enough money to buy food to fucking eat.
- The only reason I got that much was because I was awake at 7 o'clock in the morning if you're not up that early, you don't don't get to the whole calendar.
- I am about 2 miles from the parking lot where I park pretty much every night.
- I am living in it so it smells like somebody's bedroom and I don't know what the fuck I should do about the smell because I can't smell it.
- I'm just a fucking bunch of tears driving to go park my car and do nothing for the rest of the fucking day because I can't eat or recharge or do shit.
- I may go park outside of the Starbucks down there by where I'm going to sleep and do some last-minute Wi-Fi.
- Charging fully then go to Ventura for the night
- My next obligation for people is Friday night at dinner for Darragh's graduation
- Last night at dinner, Darragh shared something with me that made me realize he's going off and getting a father figure to step in for him so there's that too
- Going to have I am going to be challenged in a way that I have yet to face going into that fucking dinner on Friday night and honestly, I don't know if I can do it.
- I had no idea that I did this but in the middle of the night I start fighting throwing punches kicking yelling.
- It explains me at least why I wake up feeling so exhausted because I'm living an entirely another life in my subconscious while I'm sleeping.
- So the last thing I wanna do is your mom and I am more than OK sleeping in my car.
- Catch 22 of wanting more rest but needing to hustle
- Talked to DJ, whatever day you'll be more "awake" would be best.
- Does one of those days where you've been awake for two hours but you've psychologically and emotionally lived an entire week
- I want to go to sleep and not wake the fuck up
- The rest of my fucking life which is gonna be fucking brief.
- Ok, I need to sleep
- I just find it incredibly sad that I'm sleeping in my car the night before my kids graduation because I'm unemployed and homeless.
- Anyway, I get to sit in my own stew for the rest of the day and be miserable and depressed.
- I have $700 450 of which go to pay for the car, the rest can go towards the registration, but I'm still, like 250 short.
- Going to restart my phone and try everything all over again
- They're spending the afternoon packing their crap up so by dinner time they can just relax for the rest of the evening.
- Stay for maybe a beer and then go park and chill for the night
- I am off to sleep and I'll talk to you in the morning and text you my status when I open my eyes
- Restarted phone multiple times and it still will not connect to the web
- Stayed in my sleeping bag.
- Are you awake during the day today, or going vampire
- were you up all night>?
- His criticism was sharp and to the point — you'll never make money doing art, you'll be broke.And weirdly in this moment I realize that I made that dream of his come true.
- I am an artist of sorts and I am broke, living the dream.Wow, what a mind fuck.
- Find a place to park for the night, watch YouTube, go to sleep, wakeup and do this again.
- I'm sleepy.
- I just parked for the night.
- I'm just tired, gonna go to sleep and not wake the fuck back up
- Have this deep fatigue where I feel like sleeping.
- I may have had one of those fight club nights sleeping last night.
- I walk the aisles of the supermarket to pass the time and dream of food I used to eat like Tri Tips and asparagus.
- It's a story, not in my head, but I've real stuff that woke me up before I wanted to be awake
- It's just like being awake and walking around living your life.
- I was on side of the road waiting for orders and nodded in and out of sleep thanks to Mr koombyah at seven in the morning with his fucking acoustic guitar.
- I'm parked for the night and have a 5:30 AM DoorDash.Want to work on project and want to sleep.Still peeved about kumbayah George singing his heart out with his acoustic guitar at 7:15am
- K, going to park and sleep, good night
- Loved "Good night 💤🌙😴 "
- Good morning and good night
- Sleep well.
- K, sleep well
- Still awake at 2:30am
- Awake for about 20mins now.Heading over to storage going to put on my black suit, then head over to Starbucks and get some coffee until I go to the service
- I mean last night Elizabeth, her brothers cousin Dylan, my boys basically everybody in Sallie's family other than me went out to dinner last night.I was not invited to it.
- I'm having such a good night
- Driving around to the restaurants and seeing everybody sitting inside having a good time driving through town and everybody socializing with their friends and having a good time.
- Just sit here and wait to see what happens in the next 35 minutes and then I don't know maybe stare often into space until I go to bed.
- I just have to live itI wasn't lying over a year ago when I said to people, I am going to carry everyone's pain for the rest of my life And I knew it and I am right
- And that's my night
- And if I'm there, I'm gonna stay there and sleep there not drive back-and-forth to Ojai.
- I can try Ventura or Santa Barbara but I'm gonna need to be up until midnight every night when the schedule gets released.
- 2.75 hours$19On a fucking Saturday night
- I get to suffer and watch each day just piss away being miserable unhappy, and I'm gonna go to bed tonight knowing that is what my day is tomorrow
- That is the line of just being permanently fucked up from this mentally like no matter what I do for the rest of my life I'm gonna be fucked up in the head from this And be unable to recover.
- I sat on the side of the bed, staring at the floor for 45 minutes solid
- This really is a hard night.
- I'm sure you can understand why people wanna make it stop.OK, my car is somewhat ready for me to climb in the back and go to sleep.
- Good night.
- Crying myself to sleep and it makes my face and head all hot and sweaty.
- I cry myself to sleep every night.
- Woke up, but I wanted to die in my sleep.
- I ask for that a lot, to be taken while sleeping, but always end up awake in my living hell every day
- So I I'm not even really awake and I've already done a delivery.I really fucking wish I didn't wake up.
- Driving around aimlessly the rest of today.
- If I had an apartment, I would be in my bed right now.
- I haven't been online since around Friday at noon.Right around then my head started to spiral and I lost the rest of the day.
- You must be sleeping
- And the fact that the house sits empty and Liz let me sleep on the street in my car, pretty fucking cruel IMO
- Sallie was never going to sleep in the car or on the street.
- U awake
- You going to sleep?
- Got two built, rest will be there EOD.
- So tired today.Think I may have had fight club last night My jaw kills and my teeth are slowly grinding down.Company I paid $2k to fix my teeth went out of business
- Okay off to bed thenNot going to work.
- I do this every fucking night and I beat myself up because I don't think I'm doing enough and I'm fucking spinning my wheels 13 hours a day just set up man.
- My bet is you fell asleep when the girls to bed which wouldn't surprise me so I guess send me again or send me the link.
- Doesn't matter which pill I take which fucking YouTube channel I watch doesn't matter if I sleep upside down or with a dildo on my ass something outside of me shifts I can shift.
- Liked "Google bounced it last night"
- Since it's summer mornings make the most sense I'm just not sure he's gonna be awake for that ha ha ha ha
- Dude, are you awake?Are you at the hotel?
- Good night and good morning.Just crashing.
- Liked "Long day/night Off to sleep 💤 Be back around 3 ..."
- Supreme Court allows punishment for homeless sleeping
- https://www.npr.org/2024/06/28/nx-s1-4992010/supreme-court-homeless-punish-sleeping-encampments
- Plus the Fourth of July was the night Liz put the pillow over her face and then claim she was getting raped so yay anniversary.don't fucking care anymore.
- Well, in about 10 minutes, I'm gonna go spend the rest of the night alone sitting in my car in a parking lotLike I have for over the past 180 days
- They put it off to the end of every night and I never get to fucking do it cause I'm too tired.
- My horizons have shrunk from looking at tomorrow, 48hrs, but has narrowed down to the day in front of me until sleep.
- Sorry for that barrage of screen captures last night.
- Liked "Getting sleep - I'll check in later"
- And some water.Then go park for the night.No fireworks or celebrations.Not much to celebrate here.So be it.Doesn't matter.
- Finally stopping the car to eat and then probably sleep
- Awake?
- Sadly, it's a fucking ethereal dream.
- And tonight is first night of Summer Premier League Darts in Ventura.
- Just dropped off Declan and Darragh and going back to work for the rest of the day.
- I'm not sleeping at night.
- It's like I'm in fight club in my brain every night.
- Because I'm not sleeping I'm just unconscious.
- And again I'll submit why is it my job to suffer just so other people don't have to.Another words I'm just gonna live the rest of my life miserably.
- I find myself crying to sleep tonight alone.
- Cry to sleep and wake up feeling like I never slept.Go work (or whatever the fuck I'm doing for 12-14 hours and do it over and over.I'm tired of this
- Tonight is the first night of summer dart league.
- Wanna try to get to 60 might take me the rest of the day into probably mid evening like 9 o'clock at night.
- Are you still awake?
- The bed coming down from the ceiling at the touch of a button sold me
- Lie to her so I can get in bed?Not my style.
- I don't have money to buy her drinks or whatever take her somewhere for nightcap to talk more and then go to her place.
- Honestly, that would be ideal if I could have six friends with benefits, one for every day of the week and a day of rest.
- Anyhow, I'm headed to the market and then to go park and sleep.
- I need sleep.My eyes were closed and I was unconscious but I think I was at fight club last night
- Liked "Off to sleep 💤 for 4 hours "
- My insurance will cost even more to restore.My phone is overdue $200Storage is $200 end of monthAnd I owe $880 on the car.So fucked.
- Goes off midnight tomorrow
- Liked "Putting girls to bed "
- Heading to a spot in town for sleep
- So thanks 🙏 and sweet dreams.
- While using restroom at Starbucks I get a delivery from Starbucks.
- I dreamed of money trees, my whole life, and they ain't never shown up so
- There's also eating and to sleep and not umping off a building or finding a rope and hanging myself.
- Car can't move after midnight
- I can sleep tonight instead of not
- I pick up four things for drop it off on the other side of town and then I think I'm calling it a nightout a bit before I crash I might be online.
- Just awake.
- I don't live, I existI don't dreamI don't make memories anymore and don't remember huge sections of my life
- I won't be able to make calls send messages or access data until I pay my past due balance and a $20 per line restoration fee.
- But I don't have to move or have that nagging open ended day, where will I sleep tonight?
- Slept alot again last night Still feel deeply tired.But it's as if my entire physical being was/is constricted, not just my jaw.
- It happens OK I'm gonna chill the rest of the night.
- I'm trying to get a lot of sleep for self-care because I don't sleep much when I'm sleeping in the car
- Alright I'm going to drive to the market and buy two bottles of water and then go to the house for the rest of the day.
- All day, all night.
- I'm gonna walk this earth and carry everybody's pain with me for the rest of my life.
- Sitting in my car in a giant parking lot.Watching people walk around and wake up to their Sunday in this really sleepy way that I know person personally I've not experienced in years
- I have half a loaf of bread, maybe three scoops of peanut butter jar of jelly so I have food for the rest of today.
- I hope it keeps her up at night disturbs her sleep.
- And not been awake more than an hour
- I get to go spend the rest of my day in parking lot
- Hey there, not sure if you're up all night working or what.
- OK driving back to Ventura now I have my cushions and I'm off to buy some food just to get me through the night didn't make a lot DoorDash today under 40 bucks.
- Liked "Offline the rest of the night "
- I was hoping to see her, but not see her with another guy, knowing that the two of them just came from her house and he had spent the night there.
- Sad too because it's a fucking beautiful morning here and I'm just miserableAnd not even awake for an hour
- I get scraps the rest of my days
- Despite the beautiful evening I had tonight, I felt aloneAnother weekend of life goes by and I'm sleeping in my car.
- Getting in car for the night.
- Maybe the rest of this existence is a continuous uphill battle for me.?
- Other than sleeping in a bed for a week I have nothing good about summer.Hell I don't even know it's summer
- If someone said, you can have the life of your dreams if you're willing to do ‘X"X being well defined.
- What I'm hearing isYou can have the life of your dreamsbut you have to be in your situation for an unknown durationa week,if your willing to survive
- Obviously I wasnt awake when I was married and raising kids.
- this is how my days go.something blows up, then I'm on it for rest of day.
- It's a big change from my days of eating tri-tip in organic vegetables every night of the week
- It's really hard for me to get motivated for ephemeral things when I have to figure out how to eat every day and I don't know where I'm gonna take a shit or sleep
- Going to try and do one art thing before parking and sleeping.
- pray for me that I find that $20 in the sleeping bag or somewhere else in the car.
- I am feeling sadness and loneliness They loom large at night
- and come to think of it they loom every night and have for years with the exception of my time with Jenica.I felt lonely inside my marriage going back to at least 2016.
- I'll need to doordash today to survive the day/night
- I'll spend the night up there at the park and then hopefully can dash enough to get money to charge.Ojai is in the 90s every day so I dont want to stay up there.
- OK I'm shutting up now I'm parked at Starbucks gonna work on my stuff then go to bed
- Then maybe a hike over in the Meadows then stay up here for the night and tomorrow will likely head into Ventura for the duration, meaninguntil I start housesitting
- Play last night of summer darts yonight and then to the beachouseAfter 12pm
- So I guess I answered my own question, I am going to text her, however I'm gonna wait until tomorrow night after I see the people tomorrow morning and confirm my paperwork is good to go.
- The rest of today is gonna feel fucked up I can feel it
- When do you go to sleep?
- And it's awesome nights like this that make me really fucking bitter and hate bitter and hate and want to get knives and stab things I wanna hurt things.
- In an event it's 8 o'clock here and I'm just gonna go inside and cry myself to sleep
- To go in my sleep would be sublime.
- Not having to find a parking spot to sleep not having to hustle for juice for the car not having to hustle for money for eating.
- And that's a huge amount off my brain but then I feel the rest of me wanting to just let go
- Going to bed very depressedNot anything new i just never share thats how I find myself every evening before bed.
- Woke up middle of night crying, Don't know why and that's never happened to me before it was weird.
- Feel like I connect to other realities in my dreams and fight.
- Last Sunday was bliss and I was sleeping in my car.
- Then beat myself up and cry to sleep
- ——Doing my best to be present to my location and access to the beach, a bed, shower, etc.
- I woke up in the middle of the night crying in my sleep too.
- honestly, she said it to me when I called her from Colorado if you recall that night I went over to your mom‘s house and we had dinner with Andre.
- I'm so exhausted I have no energy left I'm in Ojai and now headed back to Ventura to go to sleep
- A very different story than last night.
- What I need is like three months to do fucking nothing but sleep.
- I won't sneeze at it so the rest of today is Computer and working on all my shit.
- Anyhow, looks like I'm headed to a depressed angry friday night battling inside my head — suxWasted fucking days and going on 2 years of this fucking repeat shit show.
- Wanted to ask u a few things before sleep 🌚
- Liked "I'm tired tonight 11 hrs last night and only 3 hr ..."
- Im awake.
- Dont want to leave a bed 🥹 and Jenica keeps showing up in my mind.
- Just leave a bed and place where I don't have to think about where I'm gonna sleep every night.
- Ok, about to leave.The thought of not knowing when I will sleep in a bed again it's pretty unsettling
- I was already feeling stressed about getting back into the car for sleeping and stuff.
- U awake or going to sleep?
- Liked "Going to sleep - been up 24 hrs"
- Loved "Only two more night me of graveyard Switching to ..."
- If I dont pay by midnight I dont have car insurance.
- Awake or asleep?
- Then I would know when the fuck you're awake.
- The two old cushions I use to sleep on in the back of my car.
- I actually slept relatively well in the back of the car last night it was more psychological than physical.
- I think a week in a bed helped my body correct itself
- I am then going to conquer lucid dreaming and remote viewing.I'm going to get inside her head while she sleeps.
- I hung out with Sherry last night and discoverd that Liz apparently knows that I had a girlfriend.
- ok, need to calm down and get off to bed.
- nearing midnight and I have 7am dashing.
- Are you going to sleep soon or are you up for a while
- Trucks blind me when they drive by at night.
- I have qualities a woman would beg to have in her husband.Ok, enough...Off to bed after a shadow work meditation.
- I'm sleeping in my car all weekend and for the foreseeable future.
- OK that's enough I'll leave you alone the rest of the night take care of yourself I know you got a family to take care of
- oh, I just remembered that tomorrow at midnight I have no car insurance
- 19.5 hours awake
- Time to sleep
- GM.The Bum is awake.
- —Oh and tonight at midnight I have to park somewhere so Im close to things in VTA.no car insuranceSo can't drive, park and live in it.
- if she's going to get her divorce this way then she's gonna live with me telling her to fuck off for the rest of her life and I will say it to her face
- The rest of my day should be productive but I am going to basically be shitting my pants about car insurance
- one morning, without anyone knowing, my life will be completely different from waking to sleeping.
- So do a triathlon in roughly 12 hours and the other 12 you're sleeping and traveling to the next location.A guy actually did that.
- But now heading over by where I sleep a few miles away by the Starbucks and the Chuck E.
- I get up, I go get coffee I get on the computer I DoorDash, back on the computer, DoorDash, go buy food, go find a place to park, go to sleep, get up and repeat it for over 300 days
- Again who knows.Like I said one day I'm going to wake up and when I go to sleep my life will probably be very different
- If you don't fall asleep putting the girls to bed be sure to check your phone because I may send you something to look at online
- It's past midnight actually quarter to one.
- I lay here alone squished in the back of my car thinking back to when I got the spoon with her in bed.
- I'm going to charge my car here in Ojai probably 80% and then head to Ventura for the night.
- More options for sleeping and the DoorDash is more profitable because they're simply more of it
- Neither one of us went out on the date that night thinking we were going to meet someone that lit us up like we've never felt before.You're lucky if you meet one person like this in your life.
- There is no way I'm going to live the rest of my life without trying to get back with her.I know I have to wait and see what plays out with Elizabeth and the divorce.
- And then call it a night and go to sleep somewhere in Ventura and then tomorrow morning I'll DoorDash stay in Ventura on the computer actually I have a meeting tomorrow morning with the guy in the UK.
- Its not entirely clear.its not that one night.Apparently she has a warehouse of shit I dont know about.
- seeing if I can restore a backup from an hours ago or somthing
- Makes me want to sleep and not wake up.
- No money for food.Made some today but some already charged car and ill spend the rest tomorrow and next day.
- I mean what I want to do is go shoot darts at Poseidon for a little bit and then call it a night maybe I do that and then drive up to Ojai.
- That's my treat for getting my ass back to platinum and go shoot darts with those guys and have a beer that's it Then it'll be bedtime for Bonzo
- Like give me I need the gig now I would like the partner of the rest of my life right now like TikTok bitch I don't got much time to live
- The one thing I do know is I sleep really well at night despite sleeping in my car because I've upheld my vows to you.
- Set this morning....—-Couldn't sleep.Remembering the psychological and emotional abuse of you withholding affection.
- I've almost made it to three hours of being awake and haven't lost my shit yet so it's starting out OK I'd like to keep it this way.
- Total restart, everything new.2.
- This will blow over in a couple of hours I'm gonna work another two maybe three hours and then go play darts by myself and then go to sleep by myself
- Then at some point I might walk on the beach by myself and then of course go to sleep by myself
- Weird feeling im going to Live alone the rest of my life A hermit.
- I want that so bad I think about it every night before I go to bed I literally envision her in my mind and being with her.
- Cry to sleep thinking about it.
- Had thistypedUp last night in Lizs queue.Fell asleep before sendingAlso, part of her consequence s for not sitting down is me reminding her a lot about how awful and mean she was to me.
- Trying to sleep and theres a loud band playing nearby.
- Feels like u never rest
- I haven't pulled out of my parking spot where I'm sleeping yet and I want to drive to the parking lot or I guess I'll spend the day in my car
- Otherwise I'm in my head all day all night I have nobody I interact with in any substantial way so I'm fucking weird because I'm with myself all the time too much time
- Only next two hours, beyond that isnt worth thinking about because things are too unpredictable and change on me.Sleeping locationMoney in pocketBattery %Always variable, always top of mind 24/7
- 30% sleep, 30% everything else: meditation, dashing, trying to find something more than I have going on for money
- Liked "Bed time process for girls "
- Yet here I go gonna go sleep on the fucking street and wake up tomorrow morning and do this bullshit all over again
- I will become one of those catatonic depressed people that won't even get the fuck out of bed
- remember the texting I did that one night (after getting triggered?)She wrote saying email is best to communicate _ dont disagree.I wrote a draft reply.Could you read it?
- She can get a fucking restraining order whatever I don't wanna get near her but she's not gonna shut me the fuck up.
- Tonight is first night of dart league singlesI play the number two guy in the area, Tim the Rastafarian from England
- That's part of her choice is that she now has to put up with the shit that comes with her choice and that is me never shutting the fuck up for the rest of my life about how I was treated by her
- I'm going to park in the park right now with my stomach grumbling and I'm gonna try to go to sleepAnd you wonder why I don't have a fucking Rosie outlook on life
- Awake for another day of not wanting to be here
- Passive SI in less than an hour of being awake.
- If you don't hear from me the rest of today today.
- I'm going to sleep
- Just thinking about how many mornings Ive woken up only wanting to be dead inside of 10mins of being awake
- I'm just gonna go spend the rest of my day rotting in my car a fucking parking lotSitting in a parking lot in your car every day it's driving me fucking insane
- Think im going to sleep while its charging.
- Left it there last night from dartsMiddle of last DashGot a $15 delivery 🙏
- The idea of not having anything to do for 24 hours and sit on a couch binge watching my numbing spirit crushing shows and sleeping as much as possible
- my brain just needs some time to chill the fuck out and rest I'm just burned out from living this way
- I'll find somewhere to sleep and park on the street somewhere.
- Peter Tosh for your Friday night.
- Alone for another friday nightPreparing for sleep knowing that...
- Every night is same shit.
- Go to bed thinking that something will change but never does
- I would happily spend the rest of my life with her in a nano second.
- The past two nights the main dish for dinner was chips.
- I tapped my brother for 10 bucks last night to get me today ugh
- not sure what to do with the rest of my day.
- If its a good one I'll stay otherwise I'll head to Starbucks near where I sleep
- No memories of it when awake
- Where will I sleep tonight?
- Come to find out I had my first night of singles tonight and I drove to Ojai.
- Anyhow I texted my opponent the number two guy in the county and said apologies something got me stuck in Ohio and I can play tomorrow night wherever you like
- hungry night otherwise.
- About to drive I missed I missed last night I don't wanna be late for him tonight
- Darts last night
- I ‘overslept' until 8:30Woke up fully 2 times in middle of night Unusual for me
- I got away from art — my idea of art - when I got my hand on a mouse for a paycheck.I can still see the world the way I did when I was a college art student, but I lost it, like the rest of myself.
- I was stressed all morning and thinking I was gonna have a less stress going to sleep tonight and I'm not.
- —So plan for rest of day.1 more hour @ starbucks VTAHead to Ojai.Get Laundry started @ LMat next to Ojai starbucksDash in Ojai late afternoon and evening.
- Then sleep, get up do it again.
- i'm driving through the middle of Ventura and it says if everybody is out having a good time at all the bars and restaurants and I'm not included in some way it really is an awful feeling.
- Basically the rest of my day is fucked now
- what I heard last night got me so mad.
- He's taking a rest nowProbably forever since he's been masking for over 50 years
- In fact, sending it shortly.I read it to Sherry last night.
- Went hiking.now it's storage where I usually hang by myself in Ojai at night.
- I know that he thinks poorly of me, but perhaps if he suddenly realizes I'm out hustling at 10:30 at night on a Sunday to make fucking money to eat Maybe he'll realize I'm not a fucking bum
- I may go offline rest of the day
- In a parking lot somewhere crying myself to sleep for a bit in the shade, 96 in the car
- I was able to sleep for a tiny bit because I only got four or less hours last night and I think that contributes to my mental fragility
- I feel better now with the sleep and earung
- I have a singles dartmatch tomorrow night in VTA
- Ive never been at ease in my own skin, always doubting oneselfDoesnt matter what changes my situation is what stays the same.K going to sleep hungry.
- That will likely take the rest of the money, if not be more than I can affored and CANT get brakes done
- I had high point of the night, and big deal.I dont FEEL it.
- Going to go to sleep.
- Sleeping to not feel hungry
- $10 will get me to ~65 - 85 milesMoney i make from frist dash of day should pay for a second charge and get me thru rest of day and dashing.First is venturaThen drive to ojai for kunch and dinner
- The rest of the year the recovering.
- The rest of the week I'm gonna DoorDash here.
- like I won't mind working the graveyard shift at the supermarket restocking the shelves listening to audiobooks or music or podcasts getting paid to tidy up the shelves.
- I visted Sherry last night here in Ojai.
- only slept 4 hours last night.
- Been sleeping in car, walking into startbucks, back to car, get in/out of car and that's about it.
- Really sucksI know whats coming...☹️A throw away day where i get nothing done, feel like shit all day, and go to bed to repeat.
- Im so tired that im going to bed now
- especially around beds and toilets.😊 Anyhow...
- If I have all my shit in the car I may say goodbye to Declan and then drive to Ventura charge the car full spend the night wake up 5:30 AM and hit the road tomorrow morning.
- Do you know ended it's really insult to injury when I drive by a restaurant and Liz is there enjoying a meal and I get to fucking eat honey nut Cheerios for dinner
- Then I just go to sleep and wake up and do it again tomorrow I'm hoping to get out of here tomorrow but I don't know what's gonna happen so we'll see
- Been here about 12 hours solid now and I'm going to call it a night I'm just putting things away now.
- And hop in your car and go find your Parking spot to sleep.
- —It's days and nights like these that are so repetitive that make it really hard to stick around.
- Ok I think I'm done for the night I'm just too fucking depressed to do anything else then to sit and think more depressing thoughts of my brain
- I simply want to stop moving around.I dream of a proper massageit brings tears to my eyes to imagine it
- I had spent many days and nights there playing darts alone.
- I will leave at night for sure, and not wait until morning simply because traveling thru this terrain at night is far cooler and I think energy efficient.
- I dropped my car off to them and then I sleep on the street I guess cause all my shits in the car
- This just creates a fucking logistic nightmare I just don't have the fucking bandwidth to deal with
- Maybe just spend night here in car at wallmart
- Scratch that place 250 a night
- Dude I might get my first taste of sleeping on the street tonight
- U mean sleep here?
- Easily 80s at night.
- Will have to take car and sleep in Wallmart until I know where to goC.
- So trucks available, not tow.They could get one in but not until early next week.Motel6 is $90 a night.I could justify staying until Saturday but still no tow
- So if I hear back from you on the bicycle I might do some night riding go to an ATM and then make my way back to the dispensary and then back to the house it would be a lot of peddling
- Anyhow I am probably will be here the rest of the day unless I had to run to the market
- —Awake and another day of same mental bullshit
- Going to apply to http://usps.comIf I get a full-time job maybe I'll just go be a mailman the rest of my life and live alone and just disappear
- is it expensive to rent a one bedroom or studio up there?
- I applied to a range of jobs in Longmont late last night—I have no idea if I'll like, but everything is pushing me into something I dont want, in a direction I dont want.
- 1pm and I'm still in bed
- One of the hardest hitting days of depression.Still depresed at bedtime but not total pits
- Thirsday night 7-9 they have guided by senior student
- Thats whats playing out now...Although not sleeping in my car and hustling to stay malnourished I dont miss, my head and thoughts arent moving.Im really fed up with being alive.
- Thrusday night or Sunday again
- Suck it up buttercup.been awake 2 hours and already feel ready for bed.feeling downhearted and rejected
- These empty nest years used to be something I dreamed ofNever imagined the living hell waiting for me
- K, going to sleep for a bit now.
- Nothing to do, no friends and no where to goI in the basement alone sleeping the day away.
- Sleep, depressed, some doordash, coffee, maybe a walk, mindless youtube, back to sleep.
- Genius.Watched an amazing interview with him last night.Same age as my parents.
- Having a hard night inside my head.
- still awake
- up at 1:30 and need to try to get sleep.I've been learning alot the past two weeks.
- Only been awake 3mins
- Feels loke another night of fight club.
- Like i mentioned last night im aware I still have to eat the elephant WHILE i climb mt everest to get what society deems an acceptable existence.
- Have a headache of EPIC proportions.Then maybe go for a walk before dark.Then just stay in and go to sleep.No money, no life—at least in this society and culture.
- —another night of being alone, tired and crying
- --I'm alone, in the basement.One more Saturday night.—over 80 weeks of it
- Are you online or busy with the kids I imagine until bedtime
- I found this guy last night on YouTube.
- not complaining, grateful to not sleep in the car—especially in this weather.
- May go to sleep soon Simply feel too depressed to be awake
- I'm awake and despite consciously opening my heart in meditaition to process pain and crying — its as if it doesnt matter how much I meditate or cry.
- Awake at 5am today and didnt ask for it.
- Anyhow, awake now and another day of bullshit
- Im in basement.I have a headache that is because ive ground my front teeth down to the soft dentin, and I grind when I sleep in fight club.
- I just walked outside and it's really windy kind of blows right through me just makes me more fucking depressed can't fucking shake thisI'm back in the basement probably stay here the rest of the day
- Thats not my place.Anyhow, NOT FEELING ANY REST, continual stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Loved "Sleep well"
- Working on more posters until sleep.Also, any feedback on 2 posters already would be great.
- Arrived, a new depression symptom, want to stay in bed and not move all day.
- One guy, Joe, shared that he self identified with the Dissociation poster and it was an awakening moment for him.
- Triggered whenever in public, stokes it and just ☹️☹️☹️ all night long.
- Saw last night.
- Going to turn off sandbox and then go for a walk at the ponds, then in the basement for the night working on updates
- The clouds have moved in and waiting to see what happens with brain weather the rest of the day.Either stays where I'm at, I feel better, or I feel worse.
- I wont have enough after tonight.Unless I launch site officially, then pound socials all night
- Not a good nightBut like I said I've got no time to take care of myself I've gotta keep on pushing
- Dissociation night
- K, oh I'll send you another note I guess before i go to sleep
- k, going to bed.
- Going back to bed.Nothing to do, and better off away from ppl
- —Going back to bed and sleepNothing in this day for me
- Not doing that again so I'll unplug from this reality and sleep the day away, and maybe the rest of the week.Fucking hate this
- Just woke up and going back to sleepBe conscious sucks
- Even if I find the perfect scenario in Longmont to have access to this it won't happen for weeks or longer.Back to unconsciousnessNow I know why depressed people like to stay in bed and sleep.
- Being awake will hurt too much
- Heading to bed.As much as I try not to go there I'm feeling alone and sadSomehow, Im not sure if I want to keep going, as in rejection.I've had more rejection this year than any other in my life.
- Imagine its bedlam at your house.Quieter than an empty church over here.Weird morning.Struggling.Sent boys a short christmas greeting on video and lost it a bit at the end.It just hurts deep.
- Right now Im having a small panic attack and Im kinda tweaked so not sure I can go to bed ☹️
- Im not resting.
- grandfathers banjo I had restored.my entire art collecion of personal 30+ year old painting from my senior x.Lots of working technologyBasically all my cool shit.
- They'll go out before bed
- eating dinner.work on store/site.bed before midnightAnd to think last year on this very night...Went to a cool NYE party with Jenica, who looked hot as hell.
- 🔥 🔥 🔥I didn't sleep alone last NYE.I'd say my NYE took a GIANT STEP BACKWARDS🥺
- — Wanted to share my 2024 SHIT — listS - sleeping in car 12.5 monthsH - having to DYI divorceI - incessant rejections, over 1500 sentT - tyrrany of depression and ideation
- When Im unable to do the little thing s that keep me tethered and sane, I typically dance with the devil rest of the day fighting off worthlessness and ideation.Thats the pattern.Been there enuf
- Know what the rest of today is 😕
- I watched creator X last night with Jason Lee and him sharing strategy.I watched and was excited and felt dumb for nit seeing things the way he presents them.
- Srsly I will make you a known restauranteur on the Internet.Imagine your only job is to advise people and you get paid your value?
- https://northern-account-de2.notion.site/Educational-Product-for-Aspiring-Current-Restaurant-Owners-171ffa30cf0b80caba20dcbb0461202d
- I've done enough building this Bert for sale thing that I realize I can duplicate it but make it for you and the restaurant in industry
- Already repiled to cap one last night.
- So even if leave tomorrow I may not arrive until Sunday.I'd just sleep in car, but have to find a place to charge thats not a supercharger
- sleep, shit, stifle, struggle
- I'll see how that goes.Then for a walk by myself, and then back into the basement for the rest of the day.Not many options for me to go or do anything other than staying in the basement.
- going to head to bed
- k, now to bed.planning on having another frustrating unproductive day.
- --Been here meditating on asking God to take me while I sleep as an act of mercy.
- Anyhow, been at spruce coffeeshop for just under an hour and feel like I just want to go back to basement and go to bed
- Going to sleep now
- On reflection, I've been awake and aware since very young but simply thought I was just weird.
- hi,Here are 5 ideas for an MVP for restaurants product.Let me know which one you want to do first.Then I'll start sending prompts:
- Financial Planning:Restaurant Startup Budgeting & Cost Control
- Location Selection: Choosing the Perfect Restaurant Location
- "Restaurant Survival 101" Avoiding the Top 10 Owner Mistakes
- Definitely should do it today because it gets a bit colder tomorrow and Saturday we are in single digits and below zero at night
- Think I may sleep for 20-30 mins.
- I'm gonna go to sleep right now too fucking depressed to stay awake
- --IMPORTANT--Here are 5 ideas for an MVP for restaurants product.Let me know which one you want to do first.Then I'll start sending prompts:1.
- Financial Planning:Restaurant Startup Budgeting & Cost Control3.
- Location Selection: Choosing the Perfect Restaurant Location4.
- Any word on the restaurant stuff??Sent it twice
- And out of those 50 there might be 3 people STILL ALIVE AFTER 2weeks the rest would kill themselves.
- I'll be trying my best to fight it off the rest of the night.
- this is definitely worth the watch.If you want to pursue the restaunteur knowledge man ONLINE — BAM!These systems will help
- I was up until 3am.
- Couldnt sleep after watching DOAC yesterday.So many things dredged back from the depths of memory while thinking through everything in my head in context of the content in that video.Here's my deal.
- The rest of us were like kids in bumper cards trying things, banging into each other until you learned how the bumper car always tilts to the left.....
- k, bed time
- I haven't read the rest of your text messages yet.
- my plan today is to do my laundry, vacuum the floor maybe,and then lay in bed the rest of the day because I feel like shit and have no means to leave the house.
- —Up awake.Depression and IdeationFull strength because Im going no where fast.
- Going to sleep away the day.No money for coffee.
- Also, if you're going to be sitting around on your butt, I could get you started on the restaurant project
- getting caught in triggers all day/night.
- didnt sleep well last night.
- "I have a churchy weekend ahead."Heard at dinner last night
- Do u feel u have bandwidth to work on restaurant idea?Thinking u could follow my tuts to create content
- After that I'll have a better idea about restaurant idea"
- Going to sleep 20min nap And then see how I feel I just got off the phone with Capital One about the car And I wrapped up the divorce paperwork so got a lot of adult shit done today
- For example, another Friday night and weekend.Ill be in the basement all weekend.No superbowl.
- Took me all night.
- This AI app for restaurant recommendations just came out on the 10th
- its really nice outside and all I feel like doing is going into the basement, laying on the couch and sleeping.
- makes me want to sleep or tap out
- Get some rest.
- Liked "Putting girls to bed need to find it after"
- —thinking if you want to venture into YouTube with your restauraunteur advice LMK.This could help.
- Pushed another episode out last night.
- Grateful to not be sleeping in the car, however, things move like a glacier.
- Liked "I'm dealing with a cold today - fever last night.
- FYI, all my edits are on staging.did you restore a backup on the live site?
- Couldnt sleep last night.Up till 2am, then up at 8am.Just finished uploading additional thumbnails for each episode.
- I want to go to bed.
- —Question.What is the leading restaurant management software?
- So I'm asking what percentage of my life was I homeless and sleeping in a car.When it spit back this number it was actually way more than I thought, maybe 5xThat would be approximately 2.68%.
- Its hard to think where theres confidence in me, other than sleeping.
- Im a confident sleeper.Ive been psychologically crushed to non existence.im here, but lost in the hallways of the mind
- Awake for 2 hours so far and still fighting depression resistance to doing anything productive.Im just tired of this life Im inside of now.
- —find myself in front of my screen, in a coffee shop, with a headache from sleep — tension headache I woke up with — rolled on neck muscles but they wont release.
- The uncertainty of sleep, the lack of basic necessities, and the feeling of being invisible contribute to their distress.
- One coffee too many My own damn fault.K, likely not catch u again so have a good night
- hope ur resting ur leg 😊
- I think I'm going to screen record myself building the rest of it, step by step and release those raw.
- So here I sit alone for the remainder if the night.
- Im eating and able to not sleep in the car and am grateful to ur mom for all her kindness and help.
- Going to bed shortly
- there is so much going on with the restructuring, closing, firing, merging, etc.
- Another intimate night in my head with the dark side.Yay me
- Liked "I'll watch after putting girls to bed"
- Went to bed after my last text.Not staying awake when its like thisGoing to use restroomBack to bed
- —slept 4 hours and wkoe up in same spot i cried myself to sleepGoing to sleep moreHavent eaten, but not hungry.I must be tired if sleeping the day away is this easy
- —Awake for dart board meeting.Have postponed an entire month, 4 weeks, of matches for online darts.
- Oh well.Anyhow, slept whole day away so far.Im planning same for tomorrow.Im going to sleep instead of sitting around in my head wanting to make it stop.Done fighting in order to pretend I'm ok.
- Also, had thought last night to let Liz keep everything.I wont take anything from her.She can keep her money, her prude attitude, and sit with the knowledge of just how fucking awful a person she is.
- I'll be up until maybe 9, then going to sleep
- When im sleeping im not texting u about wanting to tap out.Added bonus.
- Been awake 45mins and already too much.
- He plans to be there until tomorrow night nonstop speech and he just read off his list of things he still has to talk about and it's very long.
- So i can be ready/awake
- I'll let you be I need to get to sleep myself
- Liked "But sleep it's important!!"
- Yeah I know I've had irregular sleep patterns and it definitely contributes to the easiness with which depression will come on.Bad sleep equals leaving the barn door open
- Reacted 🥱 to "Good night 🌙 "
- K, rest well.
- No one that is non-family.I'm highly aware, and its weird to have been here 6 months, 1/2 a year, and I've not gone out in the evening anywhere for anything—0 nightlife experience.
- She's the one that decided to make the bed this way and now she's got a fucking sleep in it.
- Need a solid week of deep tissue, hot tubs, accupunture, and sleep
- Recorded a video last night and putting it on my berchman YT account
- Last Monday it had me in bed for entire day — first time depression has ever kept me in bed all day, and slept right through all of it.
- the rest of the week was a slow climb back out of the darkness.Still searching for a gig.
- about to pack up here at the coffee shop, walk back to the basement and maybe just go to bed.
- Thinking of just coming back to the basement after the doctor appointment and maybe going to sleep.I'm not gonna stay awake if all I'm gonna do is sit around and be fucking miserable.
- I'll sleep my life away.
- It's far better than being awake and living it
- I may need to just do art the rest of today.This is good to get thru.BUT ITS A CRICKET BAT TO THE HEAD — I would welcome a hit of acid or mushrooms to escape the rest of today if I could.
- ok, packing up and headed into my head for the rest of the night.
- I really would prefer to numb out all night, but that's not possible either.
- thing is, things I "like" to do are unappealing.Been staring at all the art stuff sitting around for 3 nights straight.
- Convinced I'll never escape depression.Fucking thing has already taken my life and everything I love away from me.Staying in bed this weekend.Weather is too nice and im too depressed.
- Tempted to stay in bed all day and not risk getting hit with depression stick
- Go to sleep miserableWake up miserable.When will I see compassion that says, tap out because "its the best we can do."Fed THE FUCK UP with being here and being alive.
- https://open.spotify.com/track/0u1Hcq4eQK66AF3A3fb6rK?si=pOgtEcKPR_OB1HaDproX2A&context=spotify:search%3Aanother+Saturday+night+and+I+ain't+got+nobody+%EF%BF%BC
- https://open.spotify.com/track/3d6BLhDLG07jgUuTgJ1crq?si=St8fn_qZSr-crijm8LncRA&context=spotify:search%3Aanother+Saturday+night+and+I+ain't+got+nobody+%EF%BF%BC
- Not my vibe to be "playing the field" or one night standing every weekend.
- Impossible when you don't have dreams or remember them.
- Been avoiding it.Likely do them and then sleep rest of the day.Not wanting to sit awake in this feeling.
- A fucking nightmare.
- Loved "Thought if you last night when I read that.
- That sounds like a perfect plan—let the brain power down for the night and give yourself space to decompress.
- Rest is earned, and you've earned it tenfold.I'll be here when you're ready tomorrow.
- Sleep well, friend.
- Well, when I got into going thru and re-doing the math with her input, and my tweaks makes things different than we saw last night.
- • Nox – Latin for night, short and evocative.Or if you want something warmer: • Sol – Latin for sun, fitting if this project is your light-in-the-dark offering.
- The urge to make this a "throw my hand up" moment is very strong.I may just lie down and sleep.This sucks
- "Living diligently aware of death does not mean living in fear, but living awake."I'm wide awake, no skin, nerves exposed to the air.I FEEL EVERYTHING without fear or favor.
- Likely chose to sleep the day away.
- I also have two FB messengar call attempts from her late last night.
- if your still awake
- I'm still focused on core beliefs, no self esteem, and no sense of self.That and trying to rest and that's hard because of the stress with the 4 horsemen of my apocolypse:1.
- Just awake.Deciding if I want to even get out of bed today.I may sleepNo reason in getting up other than feeling like shit all day.DepressedDiscouagedAnd Alone Day number, i lost count
- It's time to put that model to bed
- Same for home ownership, down.American dream is just that—a DREAM because youve GOT to be asleep to believe in it.We were sold that bill of goods when were brainwashed as kids
- You are asleep if u believe the American Dream
- you have more than 33 years in the restaurant industry.
- Your mix of emotional depth and technical discipline is rare.Let's get this channel stocked and ready to light up more dark nights.
- Todays intention.Like so many others.Just surviving until sleep.Wake up and do it again
- Anyhow, u can get back to whatever you were busy with.Going back into the black hole inside my head the rest of today.
- being alive, and simply staying "here" while facing the mental onslught the rest of today....good times
- likely going to go back to the basement at 5pm for hte rest of today.
- have a good rest of the day 😊
- Go to sleep
- Sitting here knowing the rest of today is more tension headaches, and feeling not wanting to be alive
- Anyhow, going to sleep now.Dont want to sit around like this.
- In the restroom
- Going back to sleep.Didnt hear back and need to get away from dogs whining.
- —The rest of today was just determined.
- no sleep til brooklyn.
- nMay just go to bed.Easier to sleep than it is to sit and be awake with this mind
- It may be I'll keep doing it every month for the rest of my life just to remind her every month that she's a heartless Cunt
- I go to bed at nine p.m.
- watched a few from Tim Ferris last night.
- Recorded vid night before, yesterday when I got back and again this morning.
- I want to drive to Walmart and sleep in my car tonight.
- I'm sleeping in my car tonight.Safest place I know
- —so many nights in the carwanting it ALL to end...but I hung out for another day.
- hey.Couldnt sleep until after 3amHonestly could have stayed up all night cuz Im that tweaked from this.Woke up at 6 and thought about getting up and start packing my car.
- And I think I ground an 1/8th inch off my teeth while sleepingJaw is lit
- —Deciding if I go back to bed for the day...
- It's like all the pressure is pushing me to go work at fucking 711 for the rest of my life Just disappear being a loser , poor ass, slacker, nobody
- said I should stay awake 4-6 hours afterward
- Just awake and deciding if Im staying in bed all day.Too depressed to be awake.
- Rather be unconscious than be awakeClosest thing i have to being disconnected from this place
- Just getting out of bed
- 14hours in bedStill feel tired
- Like all the rest
- Not awake 10mins and already here cuz its how I am when I sleep, depressed.
- —Awake.
- Dont want to be in bed all day but thats where today is headed.Oh well, another day fucked away from meMy quality of life is FUCKING SAD
- next one is up and queded for Friday Night delivery
- Also may wake up at 6 AM to get at least three hours of something done before having my brain off-line the rest of the day
- He's VERY good.he has 8 hour sound baths for sleep 😊
- Likely sleep early tonight
- You want to connect tonight after kids are in bed?
- I may sleep today away when back from doctors
- Maybe a common PITA for restaurants?We can make an extension for chrome, etc.Take a look Let me know what you think.
- here it is 9am, been awake 30 mins and I'm ready for day to be over.its another one of those days I guess
- In basement.Going to sleep.Rather not be conscious now.Hurts to much
- Liked "Let's chat tomorrow- let your brain 🧠 rest"
- Me being mental disability man the rest of my life — yay me.
- Going to bed, then go to vein doc at 1pm, and go right back where I belongHomelessUnemployedBrokeDivorcingMental Illnesses
- likely in bed at 8pmtoday has been dissapointingIts sad, dark, and alone.
- Headed to bed now.No sense in staying awake just to stew in it more.
- In bed.
- #1 when i was a kid in dreams.
- Id dream it then vu ja day Im watching it happen going wtf?!?Enjoy—4 Signs You're Psychic and Have Cosmic Intuition, Per Expert1.
- What restaurant service product idea do u have???
- I'm in one of those places where I don't know what to do with myself, so I am going to sleep
- Questioned "I'll be in the front range tomorrow night"
- stay awake, or nada?
- Got the YT vids processed by AI Last night
- How inflation is impacting restaurants across the U.S.—Is there an application idea here?
- Is there a problem software and AI for these restaurant owners?
- They meet a guy like me and think I'm from outerspace because I'll simply actively listen to them.I'll never forget this: Jenica complimented me for not staring at her tits all night.
- It really is not different for me I'm still miserable and still in the same fucking situation Done now.Rest of the day I'll soak in my head
- An electric Sprinter is my dream
- Doing my best to not fall in a hole like yesterdayI didn't get out of it until seven or 8 o'clock at night
- -gmWoke up with splitting headache from teeth grinding all night.
- That's awakening.If you want, I can help you sit with this more — explore it, write it out, build reminders around it.
- Im working to let myself rest and heal WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY OR WRONG OR STUPIDIts hard to heal when thats what u get sitting still without trying.The "voice" is there to remind u ur shit.
- I'm going to go on disability the rest of my life, live alone, and fade into dust
- GMjust read thru my rant from last nightI honestly think the problem is I've never really let myself off the hookortime to rest, take a break.
- Its been; wake up, realize where I am, and going online to putz, go to bed and do it again.I've not felt like I can "relax" because too much is unsettled.
- Anyhow feeling shit.Red swollen eyes and stuffed nose.Making butter noodles then sleeping i guess.Gnite
- I may be in bed all week.not sure how much more of this mental bullshit I can do.
- Bm ferme.Deciding if I go back to sleep and sleep thru another day.Not feeling good.
- Rather sleep than be awake.Just need to get moving out of ur Moms asap, like yesterday.I really dont like upstate ny.
- Liked "Going to bed now.
- Btw looked a price of one bedrooms in Loveland.
- Plan on picking up the SUV a week from Thursday, packing it Thursday night and then I pick her up at the airport at 8:30 Friday morning and I'm off
- Think I may sleep day away.
- U have kids.Ur asleep and awaken to what sounds like people falling thru the floor.
- which means sitting in the corner if their bedroom while he slept.I never moved becuz I was sure to catch ass inflamation
- Having a tough night.Crying myself to sleep.Anxiety about being in NY is kicking in.
- only feel aprehension and anxietyOk off to sleepBack up to drive and be closer to the end
- Isolation like Colorado, but no baggage and triggers there.This is a nightmare made real.
- Doing my meditation now.Then unsure what Im doing.I may go sleep.
- Dad triggered me this am turning car in.In bed until 3pm est.I'm thinking of sleeping the rest of today away He got into me about taking any kind of job.
- Could ask thenGoing online to get next video published.Also looking at getting the small room I used to sleep in upstairs cleaned out so I might use it as a painting place/studio
- feeling non stop pressure by being awake and breathingand that is coming from OUTSIDE me.
- Feeling are floating around me that want to shut down.Go to bedSleep day awayIve done it 3x nowI cry alot when I do that
- I'll see what I can do before sleep.
- Going to bed
- I have almost NO privacy.My moms in the room Im sleeping in every day rearranging my shit, and in the space.
- Exhausted chasing mirages like "the american dream"All Im asking for is enuf money so I dont have to think or worry about money.
- Reacted 👌 to "Hum - I'll sleep on it.
- Still in bedAlmost 1pm hereZero motivationAll I feel is burnout
- —Think I'm staying in bed todayNothing to be awake forLater
- anyhow, I plan to stay in bed and sleep.today was 3pm and ready to go backI need to sleep.
- My brain and body prefer that to being awake soaking in this.
- GaStill in bed at 12:30pmEasier to sleep thru days here, than to be awake and constantly depressedMy body keeps falling asleep so it needs itHope u have a good dayLater
- My father opening the door without knocking, and then proceeding to tell me I cant sleep all day, how many projects did u complete?
- Been in bed 16 hours nowSame as yesterday
- Anyhow, awake now.