# Longing & Loss — Quotations

- Need to remind myself about how long I was yearning to be out of there doing something else.
- We won 2, lost 1.
- Liz is gone camping this week.
- One of the players on his team who has gone through this before was saying that these early games are more nerve-racking than the final game.
- Won 2, lost 2.
- Primary root cause for most of my misery, and the Missouri I extend outward, has to do with my lack of sleep, or very poor sleep
- Sorry to miss your call yesterday.
- First full day back to work after 3 weeks of hit/miss work.
- The smoke has largely gone the other way despite only being 30 miles away.
- I'm going about things like its no big deal, but I feel a sense of loss as I have been working with the team for nearly 5 years in total.
- I've not gone to see her in a long, long time.
- feels like a lost cause 😟
- Honestly I'm at a loss for the upside
- Don't remember a morning where I've not woken up and gone to worry, anxiety, shame in a long, long time.
- hours and hours of it after missing yesterday.
- Heard this morning that friends of ours, who used to live/work here at Thacher for 20+ years and left a couple years ago, that their 13 year old daughter committed suicide last night.
- I borrowed your left handed teeth brushing, which I find REALLY weird 😊
- what am I missing?
- I like top left one
- right off the bat I would make the navigation be on the right, logo on the left.
- oh and brushing teeth with left hand
- Have only missed a handful of days this month
- MR almost done, just meditation left.
- This past weekend Thacher boys soccer played in the CIF Division 7 state championships (I'm assistant coach) We lost on Saturday night 5-4.
- So 3 soccer games this past weekend, 2 big ones (1 win, 1 loss)
- he's lost 30 pounds and his getting very fit
- feels like you missed finishing the thought
- Liz is leaving for camping today for the rest of the end of the week.
- https://humanparts.medium.com/30-years-of-depression-gone-3dffafabc7cf
- would have lost lots of time I spent working on projects.
- Darragh‘s team made it to the final game and lost 10.
- She's not shown one sign of sadness or grief—and I think that part of what is throwing me so off.
- I've gone to bed since Monday at 2 AM 3 AM and 1:30 AM.
- Why would I fear people leaving me?
- and 10 years from now for me, they'll be gone—empty nest
- We have not left the house for los Angeles yet.
- 4-2 loss
- yes, fear of leaving us and being left all alone
- Liz left about two hours ago to go camping in the Eastern Sierra's with the students.
- Picture of me and Liz, our boys, her mom (next to Declan) and Liz's cousin Anne next to Aidan on the left.
- So if I follow that logic, you're saying is if I see things that aren't the way I want them to be that I need to put more of what I'm missing in the world
- It's good to have goals aspirations things to shoot for, but sometimes you miss.
- I miss that
- I need to be gone through and either pitch, or filed in someway.
- Had a realization yesterday that the time I have left here, or we have left here at Thacher is far less and the time we spent.
- Going to miss car payment
- We lost yesterday 3-1.
- 3 of their losses were winnable games and one tie they handed to another team.
- Hey, Declan had his first high school soccer game yesterday and they lost 3 to 2, which was a bummer.
- I'm at 24 days straight with over 1.5k minutes of total meditation (71 total days with missed days, etc.)
- The teacher said its completely normal for unknown crying and grief to surface.
- Again sorry for the loss.A 20-year-old cat just made me think of our old cat in New York named Jesse.
- Declan likes the online classes but I can tell he misses hanging with his friends in person.
- I know a local musician who lost his house and ALL of his giant instrument collection.
- Liked "Waves of sadness about the lives lost today and huge love as I look at the girls and gratitude for each day I get to be with them"
- Liked "I feel we keep ourselves chasing what isn't important and this keeps us so busy we have lost site of what is important and what we really want.
- Liz gave me the card on the left.
- Left it Outside a few years to weather.
- Also, did you ever send the info about the website(s) you needed me to look @??FYI - my workload has gone down @ A+L and looking for more work
- Also, now have a TV outside next to the dartboard.Only missing the pub grub now...
- Well, I'm severely depressed, lost my job, and my marriage is falling apart, but hey I got a smile on my face and life is fucking FANTASTIC!
- She never asked me if I was going, and only said hi to me before leaving to go.
- I've gone back through my mind and have unpacked nearly all of my shit.
- When they were 1, 4, and 7 I was left with them all for a week
- Sorry I missed you yesterday
- sorry to miss you.
- There is missing content on homepage4 which I've renamed.
- Missing headlines, etc.
- There is some missing content
- hiking in the hills and getting lost on the trails
- waves of fear, anxiety, shame, guilt, grief and despair.feeling awful, but if I remember correctly its just a feeling and hopefully it will pass
- Ok looks like I'll be heading out on the 16th.Boys game is 15th and I told Liz I don't want to miss that.I said could leave asap and be back for the game.
- more than 1/2 left
- You can't miss it.
- or wahooo, I misspelled 😊
- Good morning Hope the day is off to decent start.Sorry I did t strip the bed 😬Also, did I leave my big fat headphones there?Think I left them charging in the room
- Lost a lot early.
- Lost 7-1.Headed to 2nd game now.I'm ok.
- Liked "Laying low until it is gone for good"
- She's here.Said nothing to me.I did leave her a rose and a note before I left.
- No matter how smart you are, how much self clarity you have, and clearheaded miss about what's troubling you you still cannot get beyond it.
- Added areas of training experience- did I miss anything?
- Darragh lost 4-2
- Tough day of soccer.Darragh tied 2-2, but they should have won.Declan's team just lost 2-1😞
- I feel a lot different mentally than I did when I left.
- not as sharp, a bit slower, lost in thought, but like a senior citizen.
- moments of sharpness, but then lost at sea
- And sorry to miss connecting with you today.
- Leaving house at 5:30am😮
- The emotional 😭 pain right now is intense.I've not stopped crying since she dropped me off and left in the most awkward way.
- My life has never gone according to his plan.
- I woke up actually feeling little to no stress and inside of 60 seconds that was gone and now have a tension headache which I was dealing with all day yesterday.
- i miss the sun and nice weather.
- Hey sorry to miss u yesterday.
- Liked "Paint therapy- left handed"
- I lost access to all my personal passwords.
- Lost track
- Feeling lost, but not panicked
- feeling lost as sea and no one is looking for me
- I'm so fucking lost, I cannot believe this is happening
- Didn't know I had this much tears, grief and sadness in me
- parents arrive, are 4 hours late into LA and may miss pickup of their rental car in Oxnard because of it.And you know of good my father deals with inconvenience and sudden change of plans.
- Hey there, I just left the hospital visiting Sallie and she is doing much much better.
- I ran into Liz as I was leaving and this being the one year to the day of the happening and seeing her...Massively triggering
- Just pulled into driveway after visiting Sallie for a few hours today.Whole drive home been triggered about what feels like a year of my life gone by and nothings changed in my relationship with Liz.
- Longing for affection is a real nuisance
- I was gone 1/3 the year of the incident.
- Just want to make sure I didn't miss.
- OK, email has left the building.
- Stretching then bed.I feel forlornI feel lostI feel sadness
- I feel the need to look her straight in the eye and ask her if she wants me gone, a divorce, but a part of me is so afraid to ask because if she were to say yes...I don't know wtf I would do.
- Emailing.Clink on links in header, and email address, also button bottom left
- our chiro left town
- Hi, sorry I missed you.
- Going on a nice hike and then leaving Earth and never coming home is my preference right now.I'm sick of fighting myself inside my head all day every day.
- That would be the cleanest way.The irony is when I'm dead and gone suddenly they'll care and it might affect them emotionally, like they actually gave two shits.
- Today everyone walked out and left me behind.Nobody gives a shit.
- Leaving in 5 mins to eat and then to airport
- I'm leaving n the plane back to LA
- I just feel so incredibly lost in the middle of the ocean all by myself
- The feeling of not wanting to be here, and be gone keeps coming at me like sets of waves.
- The feeling of LOSS hits the pit of my stomach
- I said divorce out loud and lost it in front of her
- Oh, I'm not sure you recall from early on but she said before I left for Colorado that I would come back and we would regroup and talk with the counselor.
- Also I have lost all excitement about receiving the details of the offer on Monday.
- Lost in a sea of tears
- Here is said trail head coming in from the right and then going to the left and then up
- She finally came out and I tried to talk to her but she got her jacket and left.
- I've lost an incredible amount of body fluid through my eyes over the weekend
- I miss her love so very muchThe idea that she will never love me again strikes me at my core.
- once this is gone I get to play some darts and chill.
- Be gone 90 to 120 mins.
- and to think sometime in the future that thing will eventually rust and fall downlong after humans are gone
- Be gone for a few hours.
- feeling a bit uncertain and lost—best way to describe it.
- and I only have an hour left
- I reactivated the pop-up plug-in, I must've left it off
- She tried to talk back and down to me but I said excuse me I'm not your child which raised her eyebrowsAnd left it at that
- I remember her seeming far more pissed off when I came back from Colorado, and before I left for New York.
- She knew I was depressed but not that far gone.
- His brothers, who have both gone through multiple periods of depression, drug use incarceration the whole ball of wax.I also need to know right now she is the only one taking care of her mother.
- I had completely lost my ability to communicate pretty much anything with Liz because the energy of my severe depression and rejection frustration was palpable—it terrified her.
- I have stubborn gut fat I want gone.
- The students left campus today for spring break.
- I want to tell her that I find it incredibly sad that at some point during her life, she lost sight of what was important
- I've done a great deal to support your marriage, starting with taking care of your wonderful kids pretty much every time Liz left town.
- I haven't gone and done anything fun like that in forever.
- I found the dart league and got excited, but I haven't gone.
- We both believe we have legit reasons for leaving.However, I want to TRY changing how we interact and relate.Let's start there because there is no relationship between us right now.
- \That was the other takeaway from tonight, apparently I haven't given Liz enough time and space.I was GONE for 4 fucking months and didnt contact her at all.But yeah, I didnt give enough
- But its evidently clear to me that she's lost.
- I'm way more likely to fall into another deep hole of depression, except with no one around, no one will know and I can slowly slide out stage left
- Not so much because of the aloneness, rather what I might do to myself if left alone long enough in a state of being and living I have no interest in
- the vulnerable part of me yearns for true affection.Going on 5 years 😕
- Feeling lots of grief today
- Top left
- I can see some of my words are being miss interpreted.
- Liked "Luckily someone found it and left it in a fence po..."
- I'm glad I don't own a gun.I'd already be gone.
- I know if I move out it's a matter of time until someone finds me dead and gone.
- As one of my mentors from long ago, Jimmy Higgins, used to say, "Son, you got to USE IT OR LOST IT!"
- Not lost
- Also, the brain gave me a flash forward, so that when I'm leaving for the airport, my brain wants me to pretend that I'm leaving the house forever.
- All while feeling completely groundless and lost.
- More alone and feeling lost and groundless
- The "being on time" and not missing your transfer its what eats at me under my skin.
- It was interesting because she had a one on one with Liz while I was gone.
- I'll be gone, but I don't know when.
- Lost in my head for an hour.Trying to snap out of it now.
- I've gone beyond ideation and I'm planning.I've decided that's what I want to do.
- So fuck it .I only knew my grandmother, and knew no one else beyond my father so the idea of not knowing your grandparents personally, it's not anything new, or anything they'll miss.
- I don't need more reminders or proof that I've come to the end of a chapter and a cycle.And I'm totally content and happy to exit stage left.
- It's weird for me to say that I have gone beyond ideation into planning, but that's where I feel like my mind is in at the same time I'm a cool as a cucumber about it all.
- Sorry I missed
- The guys we played in the final today I played in the first round of the my first tournament and lost, but it was damn close.
- Just like the final was tonight.We literally lost by two darts .
- I'm missing time with someone I care deeply about.
- I have no self empathyI had it goodUntil I didn'tExcept I was I'llMind cancerOf depression Fogging thoughts 💭 Yet somehow that's lost And I'm to blame Or blame depression ?
- More deadlines and one meeting left.
- I'll be gone people feel sad for a little while and then in life goes on c'est la vie
- I would truly honestly be surprised if many people even fucking noticed if I was gone, so there is that
- Plus, I wouldn't leave them without leaving some kind of message, video, something.
- There's some thing about leaving this place and going to an apartment that makes me feel like I will never come out of it alive.
- If I move into an apartment, I'll be gone before July 3, which is the anniversary if wirst day in my life
- I don't want to be me I want to be done and gone.
- If I had the slightest bit of desirability left and B, my wife would acknowledge my humanness.
- I miss my guys being little ppl
- How did I get here?Are used to ask myself that question 20 years ago.OK crying now I miss her so much
- I get stuck a lot every day.My mind will start thinking of some thing and then it locks in suddenly half an hour is gone by for 45 minutesThat whole time I'm just zoned out.
- I broke down after she left.
- Failure 😣 Loss I'm in this space all the time.I'm exhausted 😩
- Soon enough, I will be gone and you won't have to deal with me anymore—just as you wished.
- I gotta say there are moments where I'm wondering why I haven't left already.
- When I snapped out of it, I thought maybe 10 minutes had gone by 15 at the most, but almost an hour ahead, and it was so not fun .
- No way back but thru leaving
- Emphasized "No way back but thru leaving "
- Wandering around like a lost soul by the ocean
- Feeling lostLike a sock...
- Lost love and life
- I JUST LOST MY JOB
- its on the left
- I miss her so damn much.
- I'm going to sit home alone yet another week of my life.I don't have many left to go so makes me feel like why the fuck botherPointless
- I would have been gone in 2014 if I had not turn the wheel
- My name left.
- just called and left a message
- DivorceMovingJob lossJust need cancer and a death in the family and I'll be five for five for life‘s biggest stressors.
- She wasn't in that headspace when I left
- Just started out on one of my last hikes here, only so many left
- my marriage lost what little job I had is lost, where I have lived for almost a quarter of a century, just too much loss to much rejection all at once.
- How fucking sad is that.I realize now after I've lost my marriage
- How's the day gone?
- What's left is hers
- I was gone all afternoon taking the boys to the dentist and just got back into Ojai
- To make sure nothing is missed and no errors
- K 4 left to update
- The untrained eye will see something missing.
- Hit or miss
- I've not gone over near the house.
- I have not gone this way before.
- 25mins left
- Leaving Cedar city.
- I just called these guys and left a message.
- It sounded like an older woman and left my number and was what I'm looking for.
- Leaving the Beaver 🦫
- Have about 20mins left to charge
- Just leaving green river right now
- I've got a little less than a half an hour left and then I'm topped on my battery.
- Grand Junction!!!25 miles left on the juice.
- Leaving Rifle, Colorado
- Anyhow, I'll be fine I just left the package store so rolling in to the house momentarily
- Liked "Just leaving Glenwood- be home in 30m"
- I saw this after I left
- You sense it's the dark force that's missing.
- Anything left to fix on Trees site?There were a few things, but I am unsure if you took care of them
- I'd miss the kids
- And scraping by isn't gonna cut it budget wise out there so I look forward to the prospect of missing my son‘s senior year of soccer.
- Sorry to miss that meeting.
- I also left my Athletic Greens and Kachava there by mistake.
- Im behind on car payments and they're "knocking on my door" Already borrowed 3k from my dad for bills and that's gone.
- my prospects of not being able to afford moving back to CA and missing soccer ⚽️ season 😒
- I'm now lost on what has to happen
- Hey there, Testing the formEverything is functional from what I can see so far.The confirmation message is lost as you can see in the screen cap.
- Tomorrow is a lost day sort of.
- Left me falling into the hole 🕳️
- I miss mr Farley
- I've changed a bit since leaving and it's getting more intense and interesting
- I have $242 left from Trees payment, and need 433.70 to make payment.
- At that moment, I could've completely lost my mind on him, but I didn't.
- No car, no job, no family, only thing left to give up is my life
- Whatever I have left back.
- I'll put what I have left back into the Account
- I had it all and I lost it
- right now I'm thinking of leaving maybe around 1 o'clock and get to you by say 5.I'm taking into account any chart, stopping and charging I'll have 2do on the way
- Leaving in next 20 mins
- Leaving now
- I realized I left my blueberry drink my yogurt and my two leftover pieces of pizza in the fridge so have at it.
- I would advise NOT dumping your entrepreneurial ambitions completely.You've created a great network I and many are envious of — DONT lost that!!
- I had left the address on there.
- The second thing that I lost this one on the descent.
- And when I can jump off a bunch of my shit to the storage place, it will be like I've gone from a twin bed to a king make that a California king.
- I just feel LOSS being here
- I'm going through all that same fucking emotions that I left here and I don't want them
- And I'm way more attuned to my heart than I've ever ever been so it hurts even more than it did before I left for the summer
- Yet I gave SO MUCH of ME to help her achieve a HUGE life goal.And I'm left on the curb.Make it make sense.
- Working on the "ageless" material I bought before leaving your place.
- Good morning.Getting hit With a wave of bad emotions and I hate it.dredging up all kinds of shit from the past, and rubbing my face in making me realize everything I lost
- Something that I have felt ever since I left here in June is a massive sense of loneliness.
- Just left campus after taking Declan and Darragh to Starbucks.
- And either I'm really super old and out of shape, OR I'm so fatigued from past two weeks I have no oomph left
- I actually woke up kind of slow and peaceful today.However, entering meditation just brings up everything that I lost.
- She left and that was that
- After taxes it's 7, then pay back bills down to 6, some spent x country, and another months of bills and spending on food since being here.Only a few thousand dollars left
- Realizing that I may never feel deeply rooted happiness in my life and it's quite sad to me.I had it all and lost it, but while I did I was incapable of feeling it because of my mental illness
- "Leaving the past behind"
- She's " leaving it behind " not me
- Have 2500 left and need to be frugal
- Hi, awake for a bit.I won't lie waking up on the street is triggering makes me feel like shitIts very depressingThe feeling of "Ive lost at life is all over you"
- Meeting new people is fine, but I already know that finding someone new is a lost cause for me.
- I did not look back up as she left.
- Hustle over to UPS and I have 10 minutes left.
- What life has felt like since I heard the word divorce and lost my job
- Good morning Got paid and car pmt hit.I have $65 left to live off of for a week.Good times 👍😁
- Just brainstorming ideas for making money.CCs maxed 💳$1 left ( literally ) in my wallet.And I've tapped out my parents.
- I just got paid from UPS, and then fucking Wells Fargo takes $105 from me leaving me with 75 bucks to live on fucking fuck
- Have a draft text toSend Liz's way Could you read it?—I'm sorry I never texted or called you to see how were doing when I left for Colorado and New York.
- You filled your days so there was nothing left to give.You had no curiosity about what was going on with me.Actually you did, but didn't ask me.
- I want to be gone from Earth 🌍 I hate everything right
- Only thing left to lose is my life
- Text is missing on mobile.
- Not much left after soccer
- The fact I've not gone mental, in a bottle or at the end of a gun is a sign of how stubborn I am.
- Telling them of my situation of sleeping in my car since October and having nothing left to live on— and rejections to the rooftops.Anyhow.
- So we have one game left in the tiebreaker it's one to one.
- You're likely leaving good candidates out of intervies.Thank you for your time and effort on my behalf and your kindness.Be well,Bert--Bert MahoneySoftware Designermailto:hello@bertmahoney.com
- I just went to the house to pick up mail and I completely lost my shit.
- At a loss
- I'm sorry I missed you.
- I knew I was missing shit and it was getting by me.
- Building a life I love from the life I lost.Fell into my head
- And for a second time it Bounced out AGAIN!!!we ended up in the tiebreaker and lost the entire match
- So once you drop off early from a dash, that time is "on the market" and people can instantly take whatever time they want that's left
- So, like me, by time I got back in only one hour from 3.5Is left
- Most applications will score poorly overall.—GoalsDiscover if any applications miss on one or more of the heuristic principles.Discover if each application supports heuristics.
- My team lost at darts 🎯 last night, sucked
- If I had my touch when I left last May I d be top 15Instead I'm bottom 10
- Those who understand its trappings can release grief and lessen their fears.
- Would love your feedback on it if possible.What seems right, what's missing?
- The list on the left is the MVP site map that is inside documentation and a product of competitive research.
- Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
- 15 miles left
- To feel loss and rejected this deeply by so many...Fucks with u hard
- You'll need to play around with it a bit, but you'll get it.Viewport options down the left, toggle on/off...To then see them appear on the right side — the render area.
- I am just this is my life I am just fucking lost in just want to not be alive anymore Wanna go away and not deal with this.
- Good thing I don't have a gun right now cause I'd be goneThe vibe is that intense right now, but I've been here beforeI'll ride this out to only suffer more.
- Should have filed for divorce right when I left.
- Can't turn left
- No loss of car juice (have a gripe with charging company going on) and no loss of money going down to Ventura and spending on anything.So, I'll stay here.
- I'm too lost and too tired to know.Besides I'm a real bummer to be around.
- Lost and losing.K, parked on a street in Ventura and going to sleep now
- Btw I miss Jenica like crazy
- This makes three or four in a row., I can't remember I lost count.
- Over the course of a year I've missed out on a lot
- Just left VCBC and headed to the bar where we play.
- I'm glad I don't have a gun cause I already be gone.
- Have you gone out at night and looked for the aurora borealis?
- Makes me remember how much I miss Jenica.
- I left the store.
- Doesn't matter my dash ended at 4:30 so my window is gone.
- I would've just gone right at them and not even said anything and just started pounding on them.
- And I've lost almost every filter, keeping things from coming out of my mouth
- Have lost both matches tonight.
- We lost by one dart
- Better off goneNo more frustration and mental suffering from a life I was forced into
- Probably missed parents it's after 10pm.
- Sometimes I wish I had gone down the music rabbit hole rather than the Computer rabbit hole.
- Not only your dreams but everything you got might be gone tooThat's how it hits
- I just know that my daily existence for this past year hurts because I have no memories of the year and have lost a lot of time.I discovered that there are huge parts of my life.
- So well, I may have left a great life raising my kids.
- I keep thinking about going to Darragh‘s graduation and the predominant thought is I will not be able to take my mind off of sitting in the knowledge and awareness of all that I've lost.
- All can I not think that How much I lost.
- Spent the money last night on food and money all gone poof
- 20 minutes left in a 2 hour block and I've gotten no deliveries.
- 15 mins left.
- And that's gone.
- I tried to extend my dash but there's no slots left and my dash ends in one minute this sucks.
- Good morning Woke up sad again.All I have left in me is sadness
- The path diverged I went left
- I miss her.I fell for her hard.
- It's never leaving, the pain of my life.
- I'm just sort of staring off into space blindly numb disconnected lost
- I just left Starbucks.
- One I have no idea how much battery I will have left, and two I don't know if what battery I have left.
- I've got 39 miles on left on my battery
- I've lost an entire fucking year of my life
- And I have a somewhat obscure question.I am literally missing one onyx bead from my mala.
- I'm missing.
- I also just discovered that I missed the end of the year dart party.
- Huge tournament brisket tons of people tons of fun.I missed it.
- Just found out I missed 2, TWO dart tournaments this past weekend with everyone from the league.
- I did confirm that I missed two dart tournaments this weekend
- I imagine it will be next Tuesday after everyone's gone and graduation is over.
- But the idea of moving forward with grief and loss, VS moving on...Wow.
- I want to text Jenica badly.I miss her dearly.But my situation hasn't changed.
- You haven't lost everything you don't know what this feels like
- The sword is stuck in my chest and somebody is turning it left and right it fucking hurts.
- Second question which is a bit more urgent there is a dark tournament the first Sunday of the month buy in tournament that only happens once a month and I missed last month.
- I actually just left the hotel after talking with them.
- Parents left.
- I left long ago
- Anyhow, going to go into software and get lost in dragging lines all over the place.
- its in the 80s now after parents left.
- Different world." And before I could retort she stepped through the door and gone.I wanted to share that I'm getting paid too, but then thought wait not really.
- Dude, I'm crying right now because I missed a phone call from a recruiter on May 15 for something I applied for it was with Deloitte and they needed a UXUI person.
- Ok i'm leaving this brewery.
- I miss her terribly
- I've gone down a rabbit hole and have coded my own application that runs on my laptop that turns my text into an audio file of a voice reading.
- I really miss her
- Been up since 5:30 amFeeling a lot of anxiety Not feeling well today at all.I miss my connection to her badly.
- The last thing I had was Jenica and she's gone.
- It's a business plan phone and I can't switch it until it's paid, and I guess if she doesn't pay then I lose my phone so if you can't get a hold of me by the phone tomorrow, you know I lost my line
- And if you can't get a hold of me because I lost my phone, I'll let you know.
- And then Sherry tells me dude you're too angry blah blah blahAgain I nearly lost my mind because I feel angry and I feel it that it's justified.Please tell me if I'm wrong you know I will hear it
- Only got about 10 minutes left and haven't gotten any orders.
- Within 20 minutes, Ventura is gone or less.
- It's just there every day now, that showed up this weekend and has never gone away
- I miss you.
- Aidan's already gone and kicked on the curtain after fucking giving my life for that woman to do that race.
- I'm not sure how much I got left in meFor real.
- I haven't been online since around Friday at noon.Right around then my head started to spiral and I lost the rest of the day.
- They left my plan, and mine is a business plan for 200mo
- I know she texted she didn't "really" want to be in contact.We left it as friends and I started texting her like a friend and I think that made it harder for her So...
- Left my card unlocked so car payment could go through.Going to cry.That's all my money to live NOW, gone.
- Then about 30 mins left
- Fuck have 20 miles left
- So the money I made on my last cash is gone.
- Potentially true because I Would have left before he asked me.
- Paragraph it's just impossible to convey the sense of loss and loneliness that I have.
- I'm never going to shake this feeling and way of thinkingThe overwhelm of rejection and loss.
- I feel light.there is knowing that I've now forked off onto another path; she's not in it.I no longer have that gnawing sense that I'm missing out.
- When you in my situation, there's a certain point where you lose thatToo many days in a row of lost hope.
- I miss being a family man
- I know she's distracted by her mom (and I dont get any of whatever Sallie left her because that happened after our separation)
- Meanwhile, time moves on, and I'm just so disconnected from everybody and everything.I have a giant feeling I just being left behind
- for some reason, I've been sitting here and I've missed four orders, four deliveries.
- I only have 10 minutes left in my window.
- I missed out.
- Hold what you have lightly, and when it is gone, be grateful."
- And would rather be left alone
- This companionship, I miss having somebody to hang out with.
- That's where I got lost so I just didn't share anything because everything I had to share was related to me not feeling good.
- Missing 4
- Was pushing myself so hard since parents left.
- Honestly, I don't know at this pointlosing or have lost my capacity for creative thinking simply because fatigue, stress, and pressure
- I just really have nothing left
- I missed Sunday's tournament because I couldn't afford it either.
- And that's because of paperworkNot having a mailing address makes me get everything mailed to me a month late so I miss every deadline they sent to me.
- I've called in and left messages and yeah, I'm just stuck in bureaucracy.
- I'm quite certain no matter what I do it won't change my perspective that I had it and lost it all.I'm just too fucking tired.
- Missing out on our talk about energy market
- I have 7 days of hosting left.
- I'll need to spend at least 10 bucks to eat and then I'm left with 10 bucks
- I did mention in my note that I'm invoicing for the last bit because I've gone over the estimate but that's on me.
- feeling really lost
- it will be really sad if I miss out on this job because of that
- i've completely lost the entire evening from this and there is no fucking way.
- there was a moment today where I would've gone and sat on the beach for hours on end and just sat there in my head thinking of nothing
- been going nonstop since 630 and haven't stopped to take any kind of fucking breakGonna stop dashing at 2 o'clock and start back up at four because I don't want to miss the 730 to 930 window.
- Why is it when I could actually have fun with other people I can't.I have zero social life so to miss that really sucks
- i'm dashing until 630 then I'm going to charge my car because I'm at about 30 miles left so I can be ready for 730 to 930.
- The only thing I have left to do is to give up and check out because I'm really done pushing this fucking rock up the hill
- ok, 11am Friday and finally have the stress set aside — not gone mind you — just off my lap and set next to me.Stress is like a 900lb french bulldog that likes to sit in my lap.
- His wife was already gone on her business trip, Elie the dog is super cute and totally a lover.
- I miss George
- this is undoubtedly HER LOSS
- I'm working to reestablish my identity as Bert, not husband, father, or coach.I lost him along the way.
- I know in my soul that who I was for my boys and her.I showed up for them all, all the time.And sadly lost me.
- Was really really good to tell her all that's gone on.
- Realizing how much I've been missing out on life all this time White knuckled living prevents joy from showing up
- I have 5 days left on depression meds then cold turkey.I've taken action and have to wait now.
- I've got five days of it left and I'm hoping I can get a refill.
- A "their loss" moment
- I somehow found Medi-Cal pharmacy online and I'm chatting with an agent to figure out how to get a prescription refill because I only have four days left on one
- Still waiting for payment.Have 2 days left on one of my 3 depression meds.I can't get a refill.I'm not with Cerebral anymore, they were costing $85 a month so had to cancel.
- My mind was lost long ago.
- And as I was leaving campus, Aidan drives by me.
- I'll get some extreme left, leaning lesbian that hates men for my judge
- Lost
- I left that all behind once I got online — sad actually.
- Feeling super lost right now.Done practicing darts.
- Thought just came to mind, if I had any courage, I'd already be gone
- maybe I'm just meant to not be happy.maybe the best has passedmaybe as good as it gets has come and gone
- all lost
- Lost in my anxiety and depression 24/7 without even knowing it — it was my baseline ‘normal' and I just kept accepting less and less from Liz.
- So lost.
- I mean, that's probably something I miss the most is just eating halfway decent food.
- Lost a $20 bill I had
- Reinforced with the thinking this morning of not being good enough to have a gig and missed out on being with an AMAZING woman.Fuck I'm crying again after writing that.
- Get out of the car at Darts and look down and see this and go wow that looks a lot like the headphone I've been missing all week.
- Its like I've lost "shock value"Like Jane's Addiction, "Nothing's Shocking"
- I've lost the ability to play this societies song and dance game.
- I'm not crazy, at least yet, but the entirety of my situation is sitting fully square on my shoulders today.Its hard to turn my head left or right because.
- I'm not sure if there's literally something missing in my brain that won't let me hold onto these lessons because I should not be beating myself up over this shit for as long as I have
- Only day off in forever and I lost Platinum level.
- It's in one sense totally tragic, but in the same breath if I could flip a switch and live at least time I have left different way it would be nice
- Only mention it because I'm feeling the benefit of not missing a day.Yesterday was first day in a long while where I didnt have at least one cry/breakdown.
- Let the grief be there be present to it.
- Might miss the end
- Walking around downtown feeling lost.
- I have 23 miles left on the car no way to DoorDash and no way to recharge.Totally fucked
- And I suspect also since her best friend Joanna has gone through this process she may already have contact with a lawyer who specializes in this.
- And it's weird for me to think that Nat and Sallie are gone
- My anxiety is going through the roof right now and I'm not sure why other than my car has 18 miles of battery left
- Still alone, lost, and outcast.Same shit, for another day.I'm so done with this
- He has a process for you to discover "lost time" and find ways to automate and eliminate alot off your calendar.Be sure to check for it, worth a scan for sure.
- I've lost hope.
- I have zero personal resources, I have $8 in my pocket right now.If insurance is lost, I'll be on the street.
- It's hard to do basic self-care because I don't want to; because why bother?There is no future, hope, or optimism—I've lost all that; you lose it.
- I've gone through so much trying to get to where I am and get some semblance of valance that I haven't had in a long time
- right now I'm stuck with 17 miles left in my battery and I am waiting in line 2nd car deep waiting for a charger I have my dash unpause but that only lasts for 30 minutes and then they kick you out.
- 40 mins left$25 shy
- I've got 15 minutes left Need the $25
- I'm so exhausted I have no energy left I'm in Ojai and now headed back to Ventura to go to sleep
- If you miss a day you gotta make up those 3 to 4 on some other day so the more days you miss The more you gotta do each day spread out overtime if that makes any damn sense at all.
- I think I did it one point but I lost my fucking way
- I'm not time traveling but I can't deny the fact that all the shit I've gone through is put me in where I am right now.
- I never see what is there what is good I just see what's missing, Broken, a skew or out of place
- I've got 20 minutes left in this dash to the bottom of the hour.
- Leaving the house 20 mins ago I felt like things were stable for a few days.
- Totally depressed.Summer is gone at the end of the week and that makes two summers I'll never get back
- its easy to think of things when you've had your basic needs met and haven't gone without.
- 30mins left in dash of venturaThen up to ojai to start at 4pmIts 82 down here.
- I am not putting up with what I feel is abuse towards me.Those days are long fucking gone
- Missing nearly entire bottom.From Green DownFor almost 18 months.If that is not some kind of fucking shade of torture when you throw my depression and all the other bullshit like divorce in there.
- I just need to get it through my head that she left me because of money.Real love doesn't care about money, it finds a wayOr am I wrong?
- I also just called elizabeth and left a voicemail and said that I was on campus picking up my mail and that Aidan was being weird and that I need her to call me
- I left her a note with that saying filing those papers was the hardest goddamn thing I've ever had to do because I don't want it.
- I left a voicemail with Elizabeth asking her to call me and I didn't give her any details.
- I also left sent her a text message that said please listen to your voicemail
- Overwhelming feeling of being lost and cast off
- I just left the storage place after sitting staring at the cement for two hours.
- What I left today was the response paperwork.A part of me still doesn't want this.
- didn't see it till just now, look at the top above my head.No dollars no sense.10% left.And a help button on top of my phone at the bottom.
- I miss her so intensely.I want to feel her love again.Something is telling me not to give up on her.
- Last I recall you said, "let me talk to everyone." And that's where I left it because I had to drive myself crazy with some story or bullshit.
- shes awesome, but lost in her story
- Lost 2 days of work.
- I've spent more than half of my life with you and leaving you without understanding why really hurts😭😭😭You said in the email you want to be amicable.
- I've almost made it to three hours of being awake and haven't lost my shit yet so it's starting out OK I'd like to keep it this way.
- Just left storage112° here
- feeling lost and hard to focus in any direction
- Feeling really stuck in mud today.I miss having a partner.
- Had one for so long its something I miss ( and mine wasnt very affectionate )
- Drove across town after soending $20 charging and they left before i got here.Want a beer to be a patron and shoot.
- I feel weird walking in using the boards and leaving.I have $6Beers are 8 :-(Sux.
- Done deal I'd already be gone
- K Leaving surfers Point I have some nice photos of sunset from out at the end of Ventura pier.
- I showed up to Play and everybody was gone
- I've already lost 10 or 15 pounds
- Gone
- I SIMPLY LOST AT LIFE
- You can come help me pick it out because you know the area and I know you guys have gone and looked at a bunch of places before so you know what the deal is out there
- Please call me I left you a voicemail I have a really tough decision to make and I don't know what to do
- Another great start to the day...I dont want to fucking be here!I lost count how many mornings I think that because its every morning now.
- I spend all day, everyday, hundreds of them ALONE, physically and mentally CUT OFF from others and society.Its not like Im going to miss much, other than suffering more.
- Lost my Yankees hat tooCant find it
- 3 hrs dash left 4 today
- Left it there last night from dartsMiddle of last DashGot a $15 delivery 🙏
- I am hopeful that the one hour of dashing I have left today will get me perhaps two orders for 10 bucks each and then I have enough to get me runway to wake up back in this mess tomorrow morning
- But I'm missingsome things.
- -Also noticing my startle response has gone down exponentially
- —I have to keep moving and not get lost in my head with wishful or magical thinking.
- That bad acid left me fucked up.Did it put my brain on some kind of pathway?
- Sometimes I get lost in my head
- lost my way
- I have battery to get it recharged.I may drive over to beach and get a 2 mile walk in.Finding my left leg is giving me trouble.
- —Incredibly lost in my head todayLiminal spaces
- Declan has gone up and checked and does not see it in the package room nor does he see it in the mail room.
- And I'm leaving Ventura so I won't be near the supercheap supermarket
- 27 miles left on battery
- About to drive I missed I missed last night I don't wanna be late for him tonight
- I'm leaving Poseidon now so I'm in Ventura and will likely stay by the Starbucks I hang out at and will Updates as I can access Wi-Fi
- —overwhelming sense of being in a tiny boat lost in the middle of the Pacific.I can see bad weather on the horizon but can't tell if its coming my way.
- I left my coffee and phone on a 2 seat table and went outside to get my computer and big battery.When I came back in a woman was just about to sit at the table I had my stuff.
- I got away from art — my idea of art - when I got my hand on a mouse for a paycheck.I can still see the world the way I did when I was a college art student, but I lost it, like the rest of myself.
- So 9 days to prep for leaving here.
- —My email to Jenica has left the building.Sherry was very moved by it.
- —and just in case you don't read all these threads I'm feeling my feeling right now is that Sam is gone another way 10 days I would've heard something by now
- I have a California family lawyer tuned language model through open AI that I got access to before I lost my subscription
- —BTW, I lost faith along time ago.
- —Just made a mistake on a website and lost alot of work and have to recode it by hand.
- And to add to all of it I got to sit waiting to make a left turn onto the major road out of Starbucks and had to wait while Elizabeth turned in in her jeep.
- 35 miles left on my car and still have some more miles to go to get where I want to be.
- Have had months of those days over course of the yearJust gone.
- leaving starbucks.headed to storage.
- I'm not leaving California.
- Still dont know about leaving here
- —I said it years ago the thought is never left my mind and I will say it again BetterOffDead
- —I thought I was leaving hereNow I realize its where Im going to die
- Once that is done there is nothing stopping me from leaving here other than saying goodbye to the boys
- People post in the morning and sometimes things are gone before noon
- Im selling some stuff and am paying Declan to help me get it gone.
- It's simply because everybody's lived their life for the past year and a half in my year my life's been lost
- That would be really funny for one day, and then the next day it would be so depressing that I'd be gone within 48 hours
- Officially hitting the road right now leaving Mesquite Nevada next stop is in Utah
- After that I'm kind of at a loss it has to be battery or some other shit that I can't tell
- Take my 36 miles and go drive out into the middle of the desert nowhere and just fucking be gone
- I'd have to park in Walmart and stay there the entire time and not move the car because I can't burn more battery I have about 20 miles left.
- It says it has 17 miles left on the battery and if I drive it one more time it's gonna be stuck wherever I am
- Its not the one behind Target, However I did ask for a location that will have someone there to me to check in with instead of just leaving it there with no one to confirm.
- Ur mom just left on her hour walk with her friend across the way
- —I think I left my bread at your house
- Thats whats playing out now...Although not sleeping in my car and hustling to stay malnourished I dont miss, my head and thoughts arent moving.Im really fed up with being alive.
- Felt shut out so I left.Now sitting alone in the carFiguring out where to go.
- —Weird times in Target.Fucked up attitude towards buying anything over $2Spent an hour walking around feeling lost, alone, and isolated.
- Amazon has lost my meds
- feel like "whatever"Feels more burdensome to try and do things you enjoy only to find yourself in a deeply confusing and unsettled place.When your go tos are gone
- —Where 2 go when the go 2s are gone?—
- so much to doso little time and another week goes byI have roughly 1,000 weeks of life left — gets me to 75I've watch over 100 WEEKS go by inside this.
- Pluto has entered Aquarius and left Capricorn.Wont be back for 230 years.Last time Earth and Pluto were in Aquarius was during American and French Revolution.Less than 2 mins.
- Honestly not looking forward to holidays — all a painful reminder of what I lost.
- I took that to heart so intensely that I lost myself and was no longer "seen" as well by hiding, stepping back, and other mouse like activities
- That may be the thing that just pushes me over the edgeNot sure i can handle more loss
- Feeling lost as hell todayNo feeling good
- So I'm left with trust myself, or just do what everyone is telling me to do.
- One hour of dash from 6-7pmWorked on rebuilding my poster art I lost.Finished Depression and Ideation posters, and started Liminal
- Anyhow, alive but not living by any stretch of imagination.Very "lost at sea" feeling with no land in sight
- —Feeling lost and depressed this am.
- I would subconsciously take it as a defeat, loss, living up to expected ‘less than' expectations — the old way of being.
- Never mind the loss of the soul.
- Anhedonia, Loneliness, Grief and tears are all here today.
- thing is I missed a 30% off offer for making a store so I could buy a sample or two to see what they look like.
- And I lost all my data
- lost access to spotify.
- Already missed morning run.Only thing I can do is work on my websites and pray I guess.
- I may have actually lost money.
- Feel like I missed a train or a message somewhere.Liz's email has an attitude that I'm going to ask be stopped.
- Lost your signal
- lost you totally
- Imagine its bedlam at your house.Quieter than an empty church over here.Weird morning.Struggling.Sent boys a short christmas greeting on video and lost it a bit at the end.It just hurts deep.
- I've gone thru alot with the car and I'm psychologically and emotionally attached to it.It's my "boat" or vessel that kept me afloat for a year on california.It will hit me very, very hard.
- go walk around the ponds and mourn the loss of Matilda.That car did SO MUCH for me.
- Left it because I figured I'd not be where I am an already found a way to uhaul my shit back here
- https://bert.forsale/a-couple-hours-left-of-mental-health-2024/
- Also, when I left ur moms this morning she was adamant with me about letting her know when I'm ready to ‘Check In" up in Ft.Somewhere.I can't just dump myself in there.
- U tell me...You want to do this?!?Im pretty sure an MVP product out there will prove validity.Remember, you miss 100% of the chances u dont take.😁
- —This really sucks.I was actually feeling what I would consider "ok" for like only the second day since September.thats all gone now
- —Feeling lost and unsure where to even start.
- Luca, left, and Miss Pearl.Also met "Lindberg" named after the pilot.
- No wonder I have lost hope and optimism
- WowUr not okORu lost ur phone
- Only 3 months leftFeeling fucked in general right now and cant shake itToo many partsNot enough brain that can dealSimply feel burned outLike a rusty hollow shell
- Day 4 of basement dwelling.Have not interfaced with any other human beings other than your mother since leaving the hospital last Thursday.Isolation and Loneliness are HUGE right now.
- And then everyone can look around puzzled wondering why the fuck it happened, and beat themselves up for not doing something before Im gone.
- Over 600 days, 609 presisely, since I lost my job and moved in the car.Thats87 weeksor20 months--ITS A PRISON SENTENCE
- Having a good cry and screaming my fucking lungs out into a towelThe thought of leaving this earth without ever living without depression just came behind and it's just so fucking sad
- Will they really miss me?Beyond the initial grief Ill be a footnote
- --I've resigned all will to be here.My life has gone, and keeps going, nowhere at the speed of light.Over 600 days of black hole deep depression, and sadness.
- The world has lost a great artist.
- Pushing more social media out for awareness.Setup Patreon.Get it on the site.Post to my Instagram about new art and mission along with patreon.
- The rest of us were like kids in bumper cards trying things, banging into each other until you learned how the bumper car always tilts to the left.....
- I discover an artist recently who i LOVE, but what I found is 10-15 years old.My point is — the years I was BUSY raising three boys, 2006-2018, I missed SO MUCH.You're there right now.
- I lost employement through no fault of my own.
- It's not having transportation that's the mindfuck.When the car is literally gone it's gonna fuck me up and I know it
- today has been another lost day
- -Woke up feeling lost, and sad.Everything feels incredibly pointless today.Staring at the floor.
- My life has already happenedMy "as good as it gets" has already come and gone.I have felt that for over a year nowJust havent shared it
- Thoroughly convinced i have no hope of ever feeling happy and content for even 24 hours in whatever time I have left.Im just done here.Thats how I feel
- Like i dont exist.Ive lost the whining and crying about depression it seems.
- Granted it's been a very heavy period of depression for me leaving California.
- Just leaving Tree's house I am helping update her website
- "Always focusing on what gets lost instead of what gets gained by doing what is right for you.
- leaving that up to her, but I said this will go faster than ping-pong email
- have alot to do, but feel lost
- Liked "Leaving now "
- first episode is "Shock of Loss"I already have the script, recording tonight, edit and publish tomorrow.These are each 3-5 min long episodes.
- been working on it since you left.
- You sure you left Longmont ?!?
- almost 50 views on "Shock of Job Loss"I have the next one ready to go, just finishing the mastering.
- In my case I'm well aware that it exists, and my sadness stems from the uncertainty of knowing whether or not I've ever left the water.
- Picking up where I left off yesterday.Headache, bodyaches, and generally depressed.Looking forward to driving - not
- Likely they'll get the prescription there after I've already left town and then I'm just fucked until I get back here Sunday
- I left it over an hour ago
- Left about 10 mins ago
- Besides, I haven't thrown darts since leaving Ventura.
- I know I've lost my touch and control that took me a year to get back.
- Im a confident sleeper.Ive been psychologically crushed to non existence.im here, but lost in the hallways of the mind
- They also describe falling into a deep depression after feeling lost.Anxiety and Stress: The person frequently expresses feelings of stress and anxiety.
- Half the day gone.
- Completely bulletproof.Likely get up if hit by missle, or landmine.You'll have soldiers operating robots remotely.
- Sooner im dead and gone from this existense the better
- Ive lost years 😭
- Ive lost my throw.
- I left.
- GmNot a great start today.Missed my therapy appt.
- Trump just launched economic nuclear missiles.Abstractly we are at economic war with the entire fucking planet right now
- Yeah I know I've had irregular sleep patterns and it definitely contributes to the easiness with which depression will come on.Bad sleep equals leaving the barn door open
- No one that is non-family.I'm highly aware, and its weird to have been here 6 months, 1/2 a year, and I've not gone out in the evening anywhere for anything—0 nightlife experience.
- They will be equal beneficiaries of whatever I have in sum, left on this Earth.Let me know your response when able.
- I lost that a few years back and unsure if it will ever come back.Sad.
- If the S+P 500 fall more than 4% Monday, it will be the worst 3 day loss since the great depression.Happy Days are here again!
- I've never lost a parent so I'm not quite sure what things will be dredged up but I feel like I've got the right tool kit to deal with it when the time comes.
- I'm carrying it.Because if I did tap out, people would be left with so many questions as to why?And they would have to face the shame and guilt head on.
- Sadly I believe I'll miss the chances and stay stuck.
- Another day evaporating with only the residue of sadness left behind.
- They will be equal beneficiaries of whatever I have in sum, left on this Earth when I'm out.Let me know your response when you are able.Be well.
- Want to make it bloodless so not a mess to clean up.Interesting, that's planning.Never gone there before.
- If I had committed suicide 2 years ago guess what I would have missed????2 years of living in hell.Not much else.Didn't miss anything amazing happening in my life.
- Full breakdown now.My day is gone.
- I'll disappear one day and no one will find me until I'm gone.No human should endure or live with whats in my head.
- • North – A guiding voice when everything feels lost.
- I would have never left Wfd if I bought into not good enuf, but ironically despite it all, I continue to tell myself Im not good enuf.Class A, mindfuck.
- came back online after I packed my bag and left coffee shop
- It makes moving on far easier, in knowing opportunity isnt being left behind
- My ex-in laws.She left a message asking me for Joanna Evans' contact information.
- Just awake.Deciding if I want to even get out of bed today.I may sleepNo reason in getting up other than feeling like shit all day.DepressedDiscouagedAnd Alone Day number, i lost count
- Grief comes in waves.
- And the main one hit when I left Florida.
- And not knowing what to do.Lost, as I have been for over 5 years
- I havent lost interest in keeping at it either — common thing for me.Be excited to start a project — then fizzle out.
- feeling empty and lost.
- Try again tomorrow, cuz today is shit, and gone.
- Back in basement.Lost my shit, cant keep it together.Thought Id experienced maximum unhappiness, but noNew levels now.
- its one of the places you suggested long ago and hadnt gone yet
- I left to go help Don sell his knee scooter to some person who contacted him.I went over to the house, waited and took care of the sale for Don.Then I left and went to the market.
- The only thing missing was the punch in the face.total flashback for me
- This simply breaks my heart moreFeel more deeply depressed thinking about all the joy I missed out on
- When all you want is to not be here and the only option is to be here, I'm not left with many options
- Although the past is gone, we spend so much time there in our minds.
- Figures because he's the most like me out of the three.I'll just simply try to wrap it up this way.I don't have a lot of patience left.
- —Feel lost and dont know who I am at 56Wtaf?!?
- Liked "Definitely relate to last statement Soon to be 57, feeling lost and don't know who I am.
- Feels like wind is gone from my sails.Was feeling tiny bit motivated.to get back to working on videos and art.
- Getting left calf worked on.
- Got some important perspective and awareness reminders from Amaya.Got injection in left calf also to close some small varicose.
- I had it, lost it, and drained of wanting life in the process.Good times.Go to NY and dissapear into the Adirondacks.
- Legs and brain.Anyhow wanted to let you know.Feeling a bit lost as the day gets on.
- —Primarily feeling lost, alone, and abandoned by my family.
- My "family" has gone on without me living together as if nothing has changed in their lives
- GmU were going to let me know what time today u could talk Lizs email.Just got upFeeling lost and discarded
- Feeling failure and loss Incredibly heavy todayTired of being alive...Again, for 700+ days in a row
- Talked to Declan tonight.Was nice except it makes me realize all Im missing by not being there.
- So I essentially lost out on a wide variety of opportunities, activities, and things in general because of my assumption of no, and the history I already had with him.
- at 13 he punched me in the face for being late getting home from sleddingAnd by 16 i was set in "getting the fuck out of here"And I couldn't have gone further unless I moved to Hawaii
- They will perceive you as a loser even when they silently yearn to join you."Truth.
- Just left emptyhabded
- Havent missed a day so far.It's interesting to observe how distracted I am in my meditation practice lately
- Leaving coffee shop3 hrs of public exposure is all I got todayFeeling depressed from going/being out.The summertime "everyone else gets to enjoy summer" but u vibe.
- Have been breaking down all day.Tears, sadness, GRIEF like omfgI thought all this shit was out of mePast 3 days not great.My nervous system feels burned out.
- It feels as though I was given a fantastic life and had it RIPPED out of my hands and I'm left with no family and 2/3 boys communicating with me.
- Ive lost 4 years with them that I'll NEVER GET BACK and clocks still ticking.K gniteMy neck hurts, my eyes swollen shut from crying, and feel awful.
- I left to give her time and space, what she wanted, and then I return to "no, sorry."
- and I know the harder I hold onto that the more it hurtsI'm simply sick of waking up and doing this shit every daystill directionless, still feel very lost and NOT healed
- That lack or response shows me I WOULD NOT BE MISSED
- NOT BE MISSED
- Not interested any more.This place has lost its charm a long fucking time ago.
- I invoice for $500 when done.If I chase car insurance, and pay car registration, I'll have under $100 left.Then broke again.
- In my mind Liz is as lost as the MAGA.
- When are you leaving?
- —I interview with company in Loveland today.It will determine if I stay here.Otherwise, I'll be pulling out of here in less than 2 weeks and leaving Colorado sans VW.
- Only here for ketamine on 23rd then Im leaving
- Back from walk and feel worse than when I left.That's not how its supposed to work.
- Leaving the 25th.One week from this Friday.Confirming car situation before I make reservations.
- Ive reluctantly gone out at my fathers request and its taxing.
- Tough lessons learned at a heavy cost.it also explains why I lost any sense of identity I had going into my marriage.
- This is the first time I've been this way across the country I've always gone the 76 not the 70
- This is the first time I've been in Kansas I've never been in Missouri either
- That's one thing I miss dearly.Just hanging out with the boys in the house kind of doing nothing or going to plant Soccer or whatever
- I just lost connection to my websites while working on them.
- I miss being close to a woman.
- Big picture.No one showed.LessonI wont be missed.
- staying aliveI'd already be dead if I never left here.
- nadaI knew I would go backwards, but this is ridiculousexhausted from nothing but core survivalone more fucking day of this shit in the booksand another day lost to mental illness