# Depression — Quotations

- Yet I find it interesting that I still struggle with unhappiness and melancholy
- sick of being depressed
- sick of thinking I'm worthless
- Trying to put positive energy out into the world so I don't feel so isolated and depressed 😊
- I have a monster headache right now I did such a number on myself, Oy!
- Feeling a bit melancholy about it all.
- And for me that means depression shows its face too.
- Honestly the older I get, the more depressed I get.
- my depression has been off the charts over the weekend and into today.
- he just ran through all the numbers with me and looked forward in time and with depreciation, etc.
- I was doing a short workout today and thought about "high functioning depression" and did a google search to see if such a thing existed.
- https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/high-functioning-depression/signs-symptoms-high-functioning-depression/
- Feelings of depression have been happening past few days
- Had a dream that made me relive time from 4 years ago when I was deeply depressed and not able to be a good dad
- I'm in a very depressed place.
- Feeling quite worthless and struggling to shake the mindset.
- was just thinking about depression and wondering how long it will take to not feel depressed.
- Feels like I've been depressed for years (~5) and I've recalibrated to operating in a depressed mode.
- been reading alot about ppl microdosing for depression and anxiety.
- Trying to let go of the cloud of depression that my head is apparently inside of.
- Lack of confidence, stress about many, many things, lack of sleep, anxiety and depression mood swings.
- You know, over time I can see how shifting perspective and such helps, but I find myself still ‘stuck', ie, depressed and anxiety rattled.
- https://humanparts.medium.com/30-years-of-depression-gone-3dffafabc7cf
- Doing my best over here to fight off old thought patterns that want me to feel bad and make me feel worthless
- Trying to stay busy and not be depressed
- I cannot remember a day in the past any number of years where I've not felt depressed, anxious, negative towards myself in someway.
- I'm feeling quite sad, a bit depressed and unsure 😐 but I'm also thinking a lot about Liz and how she's feeling/doing, and the boys.
- and what happens to people when their winning formula comes up empty
- Having a rough morning here, was doing OK for couple of hours and then this massive cloud of depression moved in.
- and 10 years from now for me, they'll be gone—empty nest
- wow, those are good numbers
- Foot a bit numb, but done.
- I'm working to not let depression and emotions hijack me
- Numbers are good.
- My anxiety and depression have been creeping up on me
- What field number are we playing on?
- feel stuck, stuck in depression and unhappiness for a long time (years)
- I liken myself to a functional depressive.
- Liked "Action away from pain is a good motivator but without a destination of pleasure, it becomes an empty pursuit "
- Well, I'm severely depressed, lost my job, and my marriage is falling apart, but hey I got a smile on my face and life is fucking FANTASTIC!
- My brother knows about the depression but that's it
- "Covid times" are like this void in your memory of events.
- You have a unique gift of reducing the number of steps required for almost any task.
- Call back at that number?
- This place is empty and has 7 stations
- I think the sales people were frustrated with me, primarily because I was going through depression and unable to keep up.
- Some days are just so sad and depressing.
- Incredibly depressing sadness to start the day, anxiety travel all day long, capped with seeing parents at the end of the day which has its own special anxiety.
- Don't know if it's just me, or me being here, but feels like my depression is getting worse over past 2 weeks of being here.
- Especially after they found out about my struggles with depression
- Shock was last year at height of depression getting dumped after delivering on 2 projects they're still making 10s of thousands to pay team's of people (they're still working on them both).
- Depression is strong today
- was a super trigger for depression thinking
- I can feel depression again inside my mind and body.
- Just feel like a worthless loser.
- Going to share about my depression and trying to hide it because of shame.
- Sometimes it feels like I'm becoming numb to feeling anymore, because when I do it seems to hurt.
- I've noticed every time I go into public I get very depressed.
- Doesn't matter where I go if there's people I'm depressed.
- the number of points inside the vector would make your eyes pop
- Your cell, this number
- That's what it feels like right now, it really sucks because I don't want that.Depression tried to lie it's way back into running my life but I'm savvy to it.
- I've talked to my depression doc about this already.Anyhow that's my brain 🧠 dump 🛻 for now.
- I feel many of those things (in some combination) most of the time, and certainly during the darkest depression is was 24/7 for a few years at a time
- I'm sorry to send this, but if I don't it will only live in my head.Sadly, my depression is back—I have to face it head on.I've had over a week of every day being mentally hard to get thru.
- Waking up directly in a depressed mental state (I know when I'm in it).
- Lots of spontaneous crying and an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness.
- Honestly, I'm just bone-marrow-deep tired of living depressed every day, after day, after day.
- Oh, and with the resurgence of depression comes suicidal ideation.
- Its my depression to bear, and no one else
- Depression lies to you when you're in the middle of it.
- Someone told me that recently and its what I remind myself of when I'm underwater and drowning in depression
- hopefully not be as depressed afterwards
- Anyhow, time to go meditate and do my best to empty the head for a short while
- I'm just super discouraged and depressed, and BROKE.Getting super dark vibes from Liz about not working on top of the usual silent treatment.
- Liked "What's your name and account number for Wells Fargo?
- Also, 5 more applications out.Numbers so far:162 — applied to35 — replied No (21%)13 — replied for interview (8%)114 — nothing heard yet
- What's the number?
- Every day I wake up and dont want to get out of bed because I know I'm going to go thru the day incredibly depressed.
- Everyone is excited for the race coming up.I'm still living in my depression.In fact I thought it was over, but I don't think it is.
- Swindled in a way.I'm not rock bottom, just a couple levels above, a functional depressive is what I call it.No matter what, the darkness seems to always be there.
- Even when not feeling dark if I think about depression I risk falling in the pit.Again thanks for your note.
- Her number you can enter on the athlete tracker and then follow her on course
- Depression is high today
- However right now I'm still somewhat at it's mercy.I'm aware of it, but when depression is high its VERY hard to meditate and let go.
- Depression is BIG TODAY and was late last night.
- Depressed mood swings are brutal
- Its been so long since I've not felt some level of depression and sadness that I'm unsure if I've ever truly been happy and content in life.
- My depression is back with a vengeance.
- Yes, lessons not failure.The depression lies and tricks one into believing failure
- So I've lived an entire year of my life incredibly depressed and anxious and have had my worst nightmare and worst fear come to be real
- I just want my life back from before Covid in my depression and all the drinking, but I can't have it back
- My depression was really bad last week in Kona, and this triggered me hard
- I have a number in the text for the national suicide hotline, so I can reach out to them if I need to
- Anyhow that was easily 10 years ago and from that moment I definitely started holding back and sharing about all my anxiety and depressive thinking with Liz
- This was during the dark depression days of Covid when I was numbing with lots of booze and weed
- I was fine in my misery and the depression didn't want anything changed
- And Dave openly apologize to Elizabeth for my actions for hurting her for being drunk and for the depression but I didn't have any control over that part
- Not telling me this and letting me continue to walk around anxious and depressed about possibilities
- Everybody pretty much avoided me which made me go deeper into myself in buying the more of my depressed lying inside my head
- Of course all of that is inside a very depressed and not well brain
- Man I just know the depression‘s coming
- I'm numb
- A part of me that's frozen in time and sadly where I operated from when depressed.
- Depressions back
- I didn't know that until way later on deep into the depression and drinking and getting high.
- Depressed drunk or otherwise I would never do that ever in 1 million fucking years
- I was in the middle of major depressive disorder, so I wasn't a very pleasant person to be around, I was pretty goddamn negative about just everything.
- The only thing I could see was my own depression at that time I was so deep in a hole.
- It was me depressed fueled on alcohol and pot.
- She feared me for the rage, anger, and dark depression that was overflowing out of me regardless of the masking I tried.She feared for herself and the boys.
- I put off getting help because depression kept lying and telling me that I deserved to suffer and don't ever get help, I don't deserve it.Wow, ok have to stop, that's alot
- Of course I was depressed and that made me feel more isolated.Meanwhile I was spiraling into my depression deeper and deeper because I was feeling the ultimate rejection from my wife.
- Doing my best to ignore the lies of depression.
- So, just getting REALLY to working now.Working in wrapping up the move.The WordPress is up and running, however the posts and pages aren't in place yet, so it looks empty
- Feeling quite sad and depressed today.Been ghosted hard 4 days in a row
- it's a light dusting of depression to go with my Friday
- Another Saturday night, and I ain't got nobody...Depressing.Same as it ever was.
- Liz has never known me other than diss regulated ain't mostly anxious with the sprinkling of depression, Bert, then I went massive depressive disorder with alcoholism and drug use to self medicate.
- I was talking a lot about depression with Sallie and I think talking about it a lot somehow dredges it in my brain.
- She knew I was depressed but not that far gone.
- There is something deeper going on.In my conversation with Sallie yesterday I was sharing about my struggle with depression and the alcohol and the drugs.
- His brothers, who have both gone through multiple periods of depression, drug use incarceration the whole ball of wax.I also need to know right now she is the only one taking care of her mother.
- I sat in on an intervention with her brother Adam.When I was profoundly mentally ill, I was self-medicating with both to numb my suffering of feeling rejected.
- I had completely lost my ability to communicate pretty much anything with Liz because the energy of my severe depression and rejection frustration was palpable—it terrified her.
- I think I answered a big void of my understanding, the WHY behind her way of being
- I'm not depressed or mopey.I am feeling really depressed and sad though because I still love my wife deeply.I really can't get through to her because she won't pay attention to me.
- Honestly, I don't know why but my depression feels like it's back.
- It's never felt more hopeless in my life
- Twice I felt like depression and suicide was coming back.
- I heard her clearly and it hurt me badly.Everything she talked about was the problem was during the most depressing time.
- Time when I was so deeply depressed and could not make good decisions or behave properly, or get myself help.
- Been very sad and depressed.
- I caught lies of depression showing up today.I feel as if I'm distracted by work, but when that is over, I fall backward into a sad hole and can't do much with myself.Lacking motivation.
- Late 2018 into 2019 when my depression started in hard.
- At that time I was still deeply depressed but also suddenly WIDE AWAKE after that experience.
- The pain, heartbreak, and devastation mentally are excruciating.For me, it's more intense than the dark depression and equally sad and down.
- I went from being married and having depression to divorce - with like nothing in between
- I'm way more likely to fall into another deep hole of depression, except with no one around, no one will know and I can slowly slide out stage left
- I'm frightened the depression is going to come out of the closet at night and get inside me again
- That's what hooks depressives in on their way.
- I see it as an extension of more suffering and depression
- That's how depressives do it
- Or the depression lies to them to make others better
- Self-sabotaging subconscious?I remember, in my depressed state, continuously saying to Liz you hate me, essentially because I was feeling her rejection and pushing me further and further away.
- And again, more evidence of my depressed subconscious, like sabotaging my life.
- Just feeling fucking depressed again.
- The nearest place I know of is in Ventura and I don't feel like going to Ventura again depression curbing me on going that far.
- Or a depressed friendless fuck up
- I know about the labeling thing depression does that to me
- I so dislike that when I'm feeling like this, in this depressed state of mind that I have obnoxious amounts of self-pity and self hate
- It's just really depressing to be packing yourself up because you're being kicked out of your family.
- No matter what I do, the pain repeats again.Depression grips me tight.
- All of this is to say, in summary, that my life used to oscillate between depression and deep depression.
- She just saw me in major depressive disorder being massively triggered because she's pushing me away at a time I want to be close.But I was repulsive because of my anger.
- So depressed
- It's excruciating, like the depression.
- I've been somewhat numb.
- Once I get a feel for the medium it could be quite an expressive result.I was thinking about how best to portray all the flavors and levels to depression.
- With my recent return of depression and suicidal ideation it interestingly made the experience both thrilling and weirdly disappointed
- Since 2018, before we went into deep covid times—was deeply depressed, unmanaged and was precursor to covid hole I fell into
- In some respects, it feels like nobody fucking believes me and nobody believes me and how fucking hard this is with coming out of depression and get kicked right back in
- At least sleeping I'm not conscious to feel the depression
- And simultaneously their reaction would provoke an additional trigger beyond my depressive suffering of embarrassment, and societal shunning of behavior in public places of a severe's personal nature
- I mean, I'm on three different depression, medication's, and do counseling, yet I'm still struggling deeply with this
- Even with all the work and medication, I still feel as deep depression.
- My anxiety and depression are off the charts right now, 😬
- I'm just excited to play against a large number of very good dart players who also are fun guys and really enjoy playing
- I have no self empathyI had it goodUntil I didn'tExcept I was I'llMind cancerOf depression Fogging thoughts 💭 Yet somehow that's lost And I'm to blame Or blame depression ?
- I've been able to transcend SOME of what challenges me ( some I've dealt with my entire life ).This involves staying with it, no distractions, no numbness, no substances.
- I don't feel human, I feel outcast, I feel thrown away, I feel discarded, I feel less then, I feel hopeless, I feel suffering, I feel pain, I feel Gray, I feel dead inside
- Muttering to myself, in the most depressing of landscapes
- I feel empty.
- When I was super depressed, I didn't do anything and everything got behind.
- I can send you her phone number and email.
- Everything is rooted in my depression.
- Some random construction number.
- Being a human who I know has a physical love style — I feel some kind of void in my life, hard to explain.
- Before that I was in massive depressive disorder episode that lasted 4 years w/o professional care and self medication.
- Hopeless + Helpless weak fuck I am
- just too depressed.
- most of them are not deeply depressed
- Back when I had major depressive disorder, I actually disassociated for about almost an hour, sitting still staring at the same thing.
- Feeling really numb past 2 days
- Shared- many hard days- deep depression- Basic things, work, eat, sleep, repeat- no life for almost three years - in a weird space - groundless
- Past few months it's been pretty numb.
- I wish I didn't feel numb to life
- Numb for me is the absence of happiness and joy.
- I have been numb for about two years.
- It all hurts far too much — the broken heart hurts more than the depression
- I have finally woken up to my life.Been depressed so long it was a wall that kept the full impact away
- Honestly I'm numb at the moment
- Numb
- still feeling numb
- Feeling really depressed came on hard and now it's pushing
- full court press of depression
- How perfect, lovely British melancholy
- feeling really depressed.
- But that's a fully empty battery, most times I only need 40-50 mile charge
- I was too distracted by anxiety and depressed.
- I have a picture up on my homepage now in that big empty spot 😁
- If Liz wants me, she has my number But no promises I'll be available
- Depressed today
- I'm already depressed enough don't need rain and my shit wet.There is no joy or fun in that for me now
- Anyhow depression my old friend is here tonight
- I just got hit in the face with depression
- And had like 30 empty so I imagine I could roll up to the front door and get a spot and not even have to make a reservation.Thoughts
- It sounded like an older woman and left my number and was what I'm looking for.
- Ask the people next to me if it was empty.
- Laughed at "The space feels a bit empty without you here.
- I'm on a walk right now.Depression is BAD
- I feel totally worthless and valueless.
- The lying bothers me.I could say, "I'm unemployed for months, going thru divorce and I have major depressive disorder AND a terrible financial situation.I'm fine, everything is fine.
- I realized after I sent that estimate to you that I should send you a range, so, for example, give you a low number medium number, or what I think it is going to be, and then the high-end number
- It all depends on what happens once you get in there, so it's hard to give precise numbers easier to give them a range and say it will fall somewhere in here
- I just took a deep breath and sat there with it and let him sit in that empty space after he said that.Big picture is he wanted to express his concern and care for me.
- I think I can count the number of people I have any kind of serious connection with on one hand
- Those years planted the seeds of anxiety and depression plagueing me all my life
- Feeling pretty worthless
- I've been in this headspace of rejection, depression and suffering for 5 years now and it's been getting worse."Why are you bothering?" Is a big theme.
- I'm low energy and feeling incredibly stressed and depressed right now.Been doing ideation again.Maybe I'm permanently mentally unstable?
- 2 inch interesting observations from the hike today, number one actually two things both involved losing something.
- She's just two years older than me.She gave me her phone number and a little XO at the end of the message.That improved my spirits greatly.
- Been drafting texts to Liz in erasing them all morning, wanting to let her know how much she failed me and how self-centered she was when I was in deep depression and she did nothing to help me.
- It was a consistent path down multiple dark nights of the soul.The depression wants me to suffer, over and over, deeper and deeper.
- depressed when I'm in this space
- Yes, campus goes empty and the dining hall closes for the week
- Not love, not hate, not anger, just a void.
- Won't lie, it's stressful as all fucking hell, but I'm numb to it now because I'm in it all the time.
- Liked "You have identified it as a trigger for depression..."
- Hi, awake for a bit.I won't lie waking up on the street is triggering makes me feel like shitIts very depressingThe feeling of "Ive lost at life is all over you"
- I'm breaking down my campground because I have to check out this morning then running to storage to empty my car so it's ready for packages if I need to do that
- I just realized yesterday I had six beers or eight hours and today I haven't felt super depressed.Usually I feel wicked depressed after drinking
- 😍Already have my reservations up at Dennison spot number 15, my favorite and best spot in the park with a view of the mountains and I'm tingling with fucking excitement for Friday
- Feeling depressed.Freaking me out because I've been having good things going on in my life lately
- Not now I don't My life is too unsettledNo job and no apt.Feeling burned out from car camping and feeling stuck and depressed about my life.I don't deserve anything until my shit is handled
- Yet powerless to its depressive whims
- Start at 10:30am and go until about 2:30—3:30 depending upon number of stops and boxes.
- I reflected on this year versus last year when living in the house, my stocking was completely empty on Christmas morning.
- So much coming at my mind these days.I've been keeping depression at bay.I can feel its hand on my shoulder.
- Feeling deeply shit todayFeel worthless Feel unwanted
- I'd rather be sick than depressed.and rather be sick than homeless and without a job.
- Depressed
- Feeling small, insignificant and worthlessness's
- Liked "That is the number for mental health resources in ..."
- I'm emptying my soul to my NSA group.
- I think when I feel normal, I'm still very broken, depressed and sad.
- The, knowing all about it part I am coming up empty
- I'm going to get depressed, ugh
- Just below estimate number.
- I'm upset.I'm just tired of where I am.I'm tired of working and feeling like I'm getting no where and that I'm truly worthless.Not of value for work or love.
- My depression, living situation, all of it
- That would hurt and slow me down.The more I have to dash4cash, the longer it's going to take me to get where I want.In CO and NY I was still deeply depressed.
- Now I'm a functionally depressed person — Someone who's been in some form of consistent measurable Depression for at least 5 years.
- No experience or possession brings joy, peace, or comfort—there is only suffering, numbness, and dissociation.
- Feeling depressed.
- My depression is fucking beating me hard right now
- NumbI'm finding it difficult to feel positive in any form when my experience of every day feels the same.
- A neurodivergent major depressive, who is functional and able to fool the world that he's normal
- My days are full of depression, work, and isolation and loneliness.
- Really angry and depressed right now simultaneously and when I'm like this, it's a good thing I don't have a gun cause I would just go fucking bananas
- And limited number of meetings per project.
- Find myself Fed up, Angry, Depressessed and a new clarity that multiple parts of my personality are frozen in time from the past.
- That's why people numb, shit hurts too fucking hard.
- I looked yesterday but came up empty
- Started MAX depression meds today on one of two I take for the dark side
- Depressing.
- By the way, I confirmed today that I was one of the first 25 million human beings on the modern Internet and now the number of people is at 5.44 billion.
- Starting to feel really numb to being alive.
- Just feeling super numb and don't want to really be here and or do anything
- Maybe if I accept the worthless this is suffering instead of fighting it?
- Do I wanna sit there and suffer for the whole day?An expose myself to a ridiculous number of triggers, which include basically the eyeballs of every faculty member on campus looking at me.
- Going on 4 years of this, and hard depression for 12 years
- All this pain and depression stops
- its lonely and depressing.My user experience is less than stellar
- I'm just sort of staring off into space blindly numb disconnected lost
- Feeling really low—worthless
- use my Gmail email address and my phone number.
- I'm depressed.
- I say that while parked in Starbucks parking lot at 9:30am and its 75% empty, on a Sunday — that NEVER happens
- I'm kinda at the point where numbing isn't really doing it distractions definitely don't do it.
- I'm feeling quite depressed about everything overall.People have said congratulations to me and I find that weird.
- It's made me feel very old and worthless.
- She didn't talk to me at all, so I got fucking depressed.
- I was smoking a shit ton of pot to numb myself because my wife fucking made me feel invisible.
- Anyway, I get to sit in my own stew for the rest of the day and be miserable and depressed.
- After about 20 minutes and five different ways of trying to pay, I was able to do a bank transfer via account number from DMV to my DoorDash card.
- No one is infallible to the triggers.Yes, I may not go full depression, but I'm going to have to reckon with it every day like now.
- I can deal with the depression.I can't deal with the basic needs not being met for this long and ongoing for as far as I can see
- The depression feels nice compared to the crush of no job no money
- Neurotypicals think depression is a bad episode of sadnesshahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
- I got a funky feeling that it's gonna take me as long to get out of this fucked up headspace as it did for me to get into it and I'm not talking about taking psychedelics for the depression.
- I don't think that's gonna go away pretty quickbecause I'm just not happy and there's a difference between being depressed and unhappy that I know of course
- I have a google voice number that should suffice — thoughts?
- The rejection was awful and what drove me to smoking weed to numb myself out.
- Hi, I am in this weird headspace that is not depression.
- It's more of empty anxiety about not knowing what the fuck to do.It's like being frozen like a deer in the headlights.
- And I just laid that at her feet.She's the one that caused me to decide to numb because she wouldn't pay a fucking attention to me.
- It would've been different if I had decided to use another woman to numb my pain.
- Been so frazzled all day that after my interview this morning I stayed at Starbucks until 11am and then the stress, anxiety, pressure triggered my depression and cycle 🔄 of toilet 🚽 thinking.
- Things got so bad for me today that I started texting Declan and sharing stuff about my depression
- It's a supplemental income thing so it makes sense.The one thing I do know is that to get X number of dollars per hour you have to be in a city like Los Angeles.
- It really is feeling like a motherfucker.I have this awful combination of peak, depression and overthinking.
- So instead of overthinking about preparing for something fun all you're doing is overthinking about awfulness and depression.It's really a shitty combination.
- Hey Liz, why don't you let Bert stay in the empty fucking house?
- When there's a void, people feel the impulse to fill the space.I have no friends, no money, and no place to stay.
- You realize that since Sallie's passing her house is sat empty?
- And the fact that the house sits empty and Liz let me sleep on the street in my car, pretty fucking cruel IMO
- That's what it feels like, and it feels honestly longer than that because the depression has been fucking with me that long
- HiWoke up this morning and not feeling great.Just sad and crying all the time, or numb and dissociated.
- Gets me thinking about how empty my life is
- It doesn't get easier.You get numb to it
- I can count on one hand the number of hot meals I've had in the last year.OK, two hands
- They were depression and yeah , it just blows my mind.
- Feeling not well today — tired, challenging to focus, it's a weird mix.My depression meds are working.
- Its a Christmas miracle I get anything done and have managed to take care of myself with the Depression and ADD biz.
- Depression is back, full force.Triggered
- Feeling numb today.
- Remember, I am depressed like being organized and getting shit done is incredibly challenging for me.
- Also, sidetone — while Ventura is cooler, it is also covered in clouds and its depressing in a way that's hard to describe.Going to do some research on FInalForms company
- The voids of the mind
- Feeling nothingFeel numb
- The stress and depression and anxiety and the whole fucking soup in my head makes it impossible.
- I bring my battery back up, but that's empty.
- I have 5 days left on depression meds then cold turkey.I've taken action and have to wait now.
- It's just a lot of rejection and I don't even mention I get probably half a dozen emails a week saying thanks but no thanks it's you get numb to it but it's still fuck your head up.
- One of which is trying to get my prescriptions refilled for my depression medication.
- It's good before I walk to the court clerks desk and submit it to get a case number.
- When I get a case number, that's when divorce gets real
- Still waiting for payment.Have 2 days left on one of my 3 depression meds.I can't get a refill.I'm not with Cerebral anymore, they were costing $85 a month so had to cancel.
- Call the 24 hour Nurse lineHe gave me a phone number to call and see what, if anything, they could do for me.
- GMWoke up sad 😔Feeling hopelessI was here a year ago, wtf?Giving up on hope and optimism.
- Fuck those things they're worthless.
- Storage payment coming up.Can't get refills on depression meds so I'm going cold turkey.
- Shit outside of me outside of my control confirms when I believe that I'm fucking worthless and I don't fucking matter.
- I hope it stresses her out, gives her anxiety, maybe even trigger some depression and all of that can last for months on her as far as I'm concerned.
- Depression BOOM 💥
- My anxiety and depression are tweaking pretty hard right now.
- Depression is in the house today
- But I feel loneliness with an empty intensity that makes me NOT want to continue living Today is one hour old.
- Huge part of this is the depression.
- This existence triggers my depression on a daily basis.
- I've been thinking about that a lot again past couple days I don't know it comes and goes just like the intense bouts of depression.
- I think I am depressed 24 seven another words my normal is depression, and then I have these incredible spikes where you've read my text messages I fucking mental and I'm ready to jump off a building.
- So for me, my baseline is depression.
- Depression is pressing hard today
- Lost in my anxiety and depression 24/7 without even knowing it — it was my baseline ‘normal' and I just kept accepting less and less from Liz.
- somtimes I wonder what my life would have been like without the childhood trauma, anxiety and depression.
- it makes things feel hopeless when you dont see or feel any progress or movement
- I was severely depressed and she was ignoring me and ghosting me.
- no, fighting the freeze reponse of depression that doesnt want me to help myself
- Despite medication, the depression stll exerts massive influence
- I live in a constant state of overwhelm, depression and fear.Living from inside a trauma response 24/7 is all normalized for me now.
- https://www.webmd.com/depression/what-is-anhedonia
- She mistakenly must have typed a number wrong.
- thing is I don't know if I've ever known life truly without being depressed.
- And I've lived since then with it and was never diagnosed or medicated until almost 30 yrs old and that was for anxiety not depression.
- I am my own problem I am doing my best not to make me or my problem other peoples problems.You may have noticed a decline in the number of texts I've been sending you.
- I can tell if somebody is happy or sad or depressed or anxious without them saying a fucking word
- You have it good" and thought yeah, I could be living on the street Still cannot understand why she watched me fall into a giant pit of depression.
- Im numb
- And honestly people doubting what's going on with my divorce filing doesn't help my mind because then I just get depressed that I fucked up the filing and I've fucked myself
- Depression is kicking it hard
- Going to bed very depressedNot anything new i just never share thats how I find myself every evening before bed.
- I just got hit in the head with the depression cricket bat.
- I find myself alone depressed and angry.
- Largely angry because I'm alone and don't have anybody to share anything with Just sucks because it makes me more depressed it's like a fucking demon feeding itself
- He keeps asking what do you want to experience out of this life and honestly I come up fucking empty.
- And I woke up in a depressed stateDays that start like this for me, historically or not great
- I just know that I come up empty when I imagine what I want life to be.Nothing there
- Thought drops: super depressed:
- :-(--Side note:Depression has been off the charts.
- And it shows in the birthday cards and such I got from her.With those sentiments on those cards just empty slogans?
- today is another hard day for me and only been up an hour.I feel numb, mentally and physically.As if I just want to stop doing anything that is ‘TRYING" and give up.Nothing is working.
- Plus my depression plus all the fucking other pieces of my life that are broken
- If you type in ketamine depression treatment and then the name of the city or region you're in you'll get results for people that do it, meaning provide therapeutic application
- its depressing
- Yeah, depression changes you when your wife abandon's you for sure.
- Anyhow, looks like I'm headed to a depressed angry friday night battling inside my head — suxWasted fucking days and going on 2 years of this fucking repeat shit show.
- OK I'm gonna go eat a half gallon of ice cream and then cry in the empty container
- I'm so depressed and so sad to leave this place.
- Totally depressed.Summer is gone at the end of the week and that makes two summers I'll never get back
- Liz is having to get her moms house empty I guess.No idea.
- Pretty sure she's a covert Narcissist.She's AWUFULLY self-centered to sit and watch her husband fall into a pit of depression and tell him he should go get himself help
- And I don't care about credit ratings—they are fictitious numbers invented to keep people down.
- Anyway I'm just sick of feeling fucked up and alone and depressed and feeling like a loser because my luck won't changeI really feel the tap out urge strongly
- In this is exactly the music that's behind in the background all Miner keys all depressing
- If my depression anxiety and ADD were not in front of my face every day for me to UGG against to get anything done.
- Missing nearly entire bottom.From Green DownFor almost 18 months.If that is not some kind of fucking shade of torture when you throw my depression and all the other bullshit like divorce in there.
- I'm numb to livingEvery day I just go through these fucking motions.I wake up the next day and do it all over again.
- So feel all of what he says about depression
- Pietz dropped off lingering anxiety and now depression is here
- I don't have money to join the dart league and I've been invited by the league president and the number two player in the league to be on either one of their teams.
- I have the president personal text phone number we have an active thread.
- President of the dart league invited me out to play darts with him and the number two player in the league so I'm going to play darts with the two best people in Ventura County right now.
- Who felt he deserved it because of his depression.
- Anyone not depressed who had any snippet of self-worth or value of themselves would've spoke the fuck up that kind of shit started.
- I'm in a melancholy mood so it's either the Smiths or Radiohead
- I can't call cause I don't have a number
- I will go into an even darker depression if I go to New York and I know it will be the end of me
- I will become one of those catatonic depressed people that won't even get the fuck out of bed
- I'll just be honest the people back there make me fucking depressed
- Tonight is first night of dart league singlesI play the number two guy in the area, Tim the Rastafarian from England
- hey, I need to try ketamine.I can't keep fighting myself everyday to get anything done.Let alone feel like shit about myself, which getting nothing done is fuel to the fire of worthlessness
- Frustrating, unproductive, depressing
- whole life has been a pendulum swing from anxiety to depression and back again.
- I just tried to buy groceries and couldn't really embarrassing having to leave groceries in front of the cashier and walk out out of the store empty-handed
- Remember what I said I don't know what it's like to not feel depression your whole life
- I mean I'm just gonna start posting shit on Instagram like I don't wanna live anymore I think about suicide every day I've never been not depressed and so onIt's gonna be disturbing shit
- I'm simply doneI walk around disassociated every day numb to living.I'm surviving (barely) and not living, not thriving ( don't know if Ive ever had that )
- It will make her sad to hear that but my depression and other mental shit gets in the way
- I remember vividly how depressed I was a year ago, know what Ive been thru this past year and NOPE been there done that.
- I can feel it in my head and in my body I honestly think I'm not as mentally in good shape as I was last summer even though I was more depressed last summer.
- The idea of not having anything to do for 24 hours and sit on a couch binge watching my numbing spirit crushing shows and sleeping as much as possible
- I'm feeling pretty depressed and alone
- that feels normal nowAnd besides remember I said I don't think I've ever known life without depression in some form
- I have a google Voice number already.
- Anyhow, feeling pretty depressed right now
- hopelessness is trying to move in
- feeling comatose depressed
- depression is weighing me down today
- try to call my number and see what you get.
- —Numb to life at this pointForm of boundary to protect myself paychilogicalky
- Depressions here albeit low levelSo much so that I almost don't notice it
- Anyhow I texted my opponent the number two guy in the county and said apologies something got me stuck in Ohio and I can play tomorrow night wherever you like
- That's on top of dealing with my depression.Its not easy and feeling quite frustrated because it's hard to move forward when people keep putting roadblocks in your way
- Feeling lots of stressAnd depression pushing hardFatigue Brain fog
- well there goes the feeling of just coasting on my brain and we're now back in depression Land.
- so done with this oscillation into depression.
- Depressed that my only dash got me $3 today.Have 100 miles in the car but $5 to my name.
- feeling depression coming on
- Depressed.
- —Kinda numb
- —Turning out that the present moment today is full of melancholy
- -Feeling undeserving and simply worthless.
- I'm in a depressive funk.
- —Find myself screaming into the void everyday
- And the depressions been longer than that.
- The force of depression is strong today.The dark side.
- Fighting depression all morning.There's no "settling in"Its Zombie useless staring off into space semi-catatonic Or push and mask to be a functional depressive and pretend my life is normal
- Done trying to do anything todayToo depressedHave darts tonight and dont want to go
- Im usually ok being that isolated but when depression hits hard the feeling of being outcast skyrockets
- No food today.Depression story
- On lots of depression meds and still depressed.
- I was done living what I thought was my life a long time ago.I didnt get a life, i got a life of anxiety and depression never feeling safe as a kid because of the people raising me.
- Have 7:30 am dash for onenhourAnother day of melancholytomorrow
- you realize you're asking a depressed person to help themselvesEven if they do try to help themselves it will move at glacial pace.
- depression is awful, but when you're in the deep end you BELIEVE you are not worth it, worthless and dont save me mentality.
- Anhedonia, a facet of my depression.
- This can take the form of:Numbness.Boredom.Apathy.Negativity.You may have trouble spending time with people.
- back to the numb
- I am depressed however this experience of trigger and spiral is layered on top of it
- So while I may not be in a spiral I am still feeling quite depressed
- Depression is on me hard right now
- That number is deceiving more like 10
- Have I mentioned how much I hate being depressed?
- I can't live without the sun because I get incredibly depressed.
- —Also, i'm in normalized depression mode.This means I have light depression, and basically look and act like a neurotypical
- No memories of them because you dont make memories when depressedAt least i dont
- —again the idea of not having a solid good day in over 5 years is really depressingbeen depressed for so long I dont even knowpassing of time when depressed and memories are impossible in this mind
- I was never taught what it was to relax or chill out.My whole fucking life is depression and anxiety
- —Alone screaming into the void for this all to fucking end already
- Clicking out into voids in my brain.Places where theres no anything.
- Feels like huge sections of my life are filled with voidsI have no memoriesBecause brain was too fucked up doing depression, anxiety, and ADD every day my whole life
- Oh and depression and anxiety and CPTSD plus the PTSD on top of it from the experience of being kicked out of my house and living in my fucking car
- I had somebody tell me the other day that I need to stop telling myself the depression story.When people say that if I have a weapon on me I will go at you.
- Knife a gun I don't care.Depression isn't a fucking choice and depression isn't a fucking story I'm making up
- Like I said I've lived with depression my entire fucking life I don't know what living is like without it
- That would be really funny for one day, and then the next day it would be so depressing that I'd be gone within 48 hours
- Ok I think I'm done for the night I'm just too fucking depressed to do anything else then to sit and think more depressing thoughts of my brain
- —almost 2 years of my life with not muchI'm honesty really over this being alive thinghave had more depression, sadness, anxiety, and other BS in my head every day of my fucking life
- have had more depression, sadness, anxiety, and other BS in my head every day of my fucking life
- —Still depressed as a mother fucker.This ad for mindbloom somehow showed up on screen today.At home, with online guidance.$$ is only thing from me signing up
- —Today has been depressingly hard in my headThe idea of moving into a senior community...Wtf??Am I that fucking done?Made me literally hold back tears.
- One of the hardest hitting days of depression.Still depresed at bedtime but not total pits
- Just avoided a numbskull pulling into my lane from a dead stop.
- Feel brain dead.If I'm not working on my shit I feel worthless.
- Anyhow another day staring at and shouting into the void
- —Wake up depressed and heartbroken...EVERYFUCKING DAYWithout failure, no matter how much medication, meditation or whatever
- As awesome as people say life is Ive not had that feelingOnly anxiety, depression, or the overwhelming feeling of doing it wrong or being wrong
- No idea as I dont know what not being depressed is
- Another aimless day of unaccomplishmentEvery day I fail to move foward is another day in depressionTo think if I didnt have depression I'd likely be well beyond this.
- Not only do I pay the ADD executive function tax, I pay the depression tax as wellJust sucks to work Twice as hard and twice as long to get to the same fucking placeSo frustrating.
- I'm down to my last 150 mg of depression meds.
- that's the thing about depression meds.
- They depress your emotions.
- —I'm slowly realizing that depression will continue to fuck me and my life over again and again.
- These empty nest years used to be something I dreamed ofNever imagined the living hell waiting for me
- just weird that I feel less depressed on the med
- Depression in the house todayMeds arrive Friday
- Pushing with numb limbs and spiritTo a place no one knowsOther than saying it will get better.Really?
- -Waking up crying into depression is the fucking worst.
- Its just an observation of living in a depressed bubble
- Sleep, depressed, some doordash, coffee, maybe a walk, mindless youtube, back to sleep.
- —Honestly felt better in CA even tho I was stressed I wasnt this isolated and depressed.At least i could go sit by the ocean, that helped.Going to sit in a basement all winter.
- Actually, a handwritten note with my cell phone number folded up put it in an envelope with the guy who's doing the hiring and drop it off at the front desk and leave it for him
- depressions not there I can feel these things from my LONG periods of lonliness
- Might even go as far as stating I'm Jedi level at masking.Medical professionals cannot pick up on my depression in any way shape or form.They see me has a chippy lad.
- Particularly when disconnected and melancholy.
- Told to use your intuition, what ur gut tells yaBit there aint no feeling thereJust emptyness
- A void
- So things affect me 10x a normal person.My depression 10xMy anxiety 10xMy capacity to push my mind to tolerate and mask extreme forms of both is pretty starting honestly.
- I found the book from a recommendation from another depressed related thing.
- I feel like when I first moved to Santa Monica from Waterford, just want to stay inside — but instead of ANXIETY ruining life DEPRESSION is now.
- Just feeling bigtime worthlessness — VERY COMMON for me to feel this vibe 24/7 for weeks at a time.
- May go to sleep soon Simply feel too depressed to be awake
- Sitting in places with your depression putting out chronic psychic stench that others easily pick up on.I can consciously push negative energy out of my body and other people pick up on it.
- Parts of body are numb because of tension in muscles.
- And I just had to stop what I was working on and I don't feel good and depression is fucking with me.
- Being in the state of perpetual anxiety and depression is my normal and it's fucking sad because I'm so aware of all of it
- I was DEEPLY depressed and lots of ideation starting in Spring 2018.
- I just walked outside and it's really windy kind of blows right through me just makes me more fucking depressed can't fucking shake thisI'm back in the basement probably stay here the rest of the day
- Thats not my place.Anyhow, NOT FEELING ANY REST, continual stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Depression wont let it happen.Ok, enuf of my bullshit
- That im unsure if ive ever lived without being conscious of either anxiety or depression.
- I'll follow protocol to the letter.Im just sick of soaking in depression for a majority of my waking time.
- Its really sad that I was so fucking anxious or depressed every day and triggered that there are no memories ☹️
- That's great if you dont have depression in the way
- would be great if I could past the depressionwont happen until I do
- just spent the past two hours typing to everyonewhy does it feel like I have to defend my depression?
- One hour of dash from 6-7pmWorked on rebuilding my poster art I lost.Finished Depression and Ideation posters, and started Liminal
- Persistent, predictable, and numbingly dragging a soul who doesn't want to be here thru this shit because, others.
- Arrived, a new depression symptom, want to stay in bed and not move all day.
- Thats my dealAnd depression
- Because here's the deal if I'm not disabled from depression, I don't know what the fuck is.
- —Feeling lost and depressed this am.
- —once I'm done chasing butterflies I can go get a mind numbing, soul-sucking, capitalist-whoring, performative jig over time in exchange for money.
- —Depression and a host of symptoms are making life and living impossible.I'll be delighted when this experience has ended.
- feel numband dead inside ⚰️
- I'm numb and really don't care about much other than trying to get past my brain and finish the first project I have since 2016.
- I just got hit With a massive wave of depression and deep pit of my stomach sadness.For some reason the universe is highlighting the fact that I'm alone.
- Started dashing at 8am, coffee at Ozo, dash and back here.Im also feeling depressed.
- So that was fun.Did all this work and whoop de doo!Feeling a broke, alone, depressed, loser at the moment.Thing is I have that moment ALOTMy head feels too fucked up to get myself out of where I am.
- It triggers all the bad feels of worthlessness
- —depression is awfulsitting in the basement all day.no resources to go do anything funor homies to hang withmaybe colorado wasnt a good idea?So far I've only felt worse or the same.
- Just not my style even if I wasn't feel depressed.
- —Besides even if money were to fall in my lap today — its not like my depression is going to magically go away.I'll feel less stress for sure, but depression will still be here.
- —People numb themselves so they dont have to feel like I do right now.I have suffered hard pretty much every day of this past week.I've been distrating myself with the website and artwork.
- I got into college and thru it in 4 years with 2 degrees — all the while depressed and not knowing it.It simply sux to know that the illness stopped me from reaching full potential.
- Even if I find the perfect scenario in Longmont to have access to this it won't happen for weeks or longer.Back to unconsciousnessNow I know why depressed people like to stay in bed and sleep.
- It was taken from the Feds to pay the back taxes owed that we had been paying installments on.The couch and chair are about worthless; you could maybe get 300 for both.
- Imagine its bedlam at your house.Quieter than an empty church over here.Weird morning.Struggling.Sent boys a short christmas greeting on video and lost it a bit at the end.It just hurts deep.
- Seeing all those ppl who I knew had depression, and see them laughing.
- Ppl say suicide is selfish.Its the opposite.Those ppl want the depressed person to hang out and suffer more, so they don't have to.Its backwards.
- Even if I didn't have depression, I'm not sure I want to be in this place or culture.I simply don't think or operate likes other's.Its an ncredibly stark contrast for me.Exhibit A.
- Digress...Feeling like I do I had to mask hard (exhausting) but tire is full for now.I have filed for colorado medicaid and have a case number but not an official account yet.
- I had depression every day this year, with a variety of symptom's each day, all variable in existence and persistence.
- https://bert.forsale/depressed-people-dont-want-a-comparison-to-your-pain/
- — Wanted to share my 2024 SHIT — listS - sleeping in car 12.5 monthsH - having to DYI divorceI - incessant rejections, over 1500 sentT - tyrrany of depression and ideation
- Going to lose my phone number
- One thing that will be a huge suck.No car.My depression is going to get triggered no matter what.Everytime I want to go somewhere, trigger!!!!!Cant fucking wait
- When Im unable to do the little thing s that keep me tethered and sane, I typically dance with the devil rest of the day fighting off worthlessness and ideation.Thats the pattern.Been there enuf
- I appreciate you trying, but acknowledging what Im dealing with goes alot farther in terms of trying to help.Its a depression thing.
- feeling depressed.go figure.
- Liked "Is the phone number still functioning?"
- Not on the schedule, no time slots available.So I stay in the basement which is depressing to stay in all day no matter what I do or try.
- Depressed all day here.Level is roughly 6/10.I can mask it, but it was out in force.
- my depression has become my identity sadlyI identify and depressive, anxious, and neurodivergent before I even acknowledge myself.
- I FEEL this pressure 10x.What Im getting at is my depression is NOT garden variety.
- No one has EVER suspected i was depressed, even the docs in the hospital.
- Even a fellow patient, Billy, who commented that "you dont seem depressed at all" as I sat across from him having lunch together and conversing.Masking at work.I am a master.
- It's really hard to pour energy into anything when you feel empty
- Same meds, same shit different day.Instead of getting better Im FAR more isolated in a basement 23 hours a day thru no fault of my own.I'd rather depressed and miserable be in California.
- —Another day of depressed fun inside my skull today.Im on the medicine carousel again.
- I never get, or feel better so I can feel alive and not depressed.And no one can help me get better in short order.I cant get ketamine because I'm too poor.
- I'm publishing some YouTube videos this morning and then more social media posts to focus on the anxiety posterSo far I've sent out social media for depression, and loneliness.
- feel that worthless vibe, just not with SUPER STRONG depression
- depression off the hook tonight.I had high hopes of publishing at least the social media notices about the Anxiety poster.
- I feel my depression has deepened farther since being here.So few positive things in my life.
- So many shit days of the last 600+ that is is EASILY MY NEW NORMAL baseline.Deep, dark depression is "new normal" and not much I can do about it, cuz I'm doing all the things.
- TO MY NEVER ENDING DEPRESSION.
- Mental pattern im noticingWake up in no particular state of mind.By noon depression moves in and destroys remainder of the day.
- Yesterday I was think about suicide all afternoonHaving more of those days.Havent had a depression free day since ?????
- Just feeling depressed and don't wanna go hike
- It's really hard not to be depressed when your life sucks this fucking bad
- Having a good cry and screaming my fucking lungs out into a towelThe thought of leaving this earth without ever living without depression just came behind and it's just so fucking sad
- I'm gonna go to sleep right now too fucking depressed to stay awake
- Mind aint coming backIm on 2 of the best modern depression meds at max dosage and Im still depressed and having suicide in my head at least once a day.
- --I've resigned all will to be here.My life has gone, and keeps going, nowhere at the speed of light.Over 600 days of black hole deep depression, and sadness.
- --U kill urself to make the depression stop.I know why people would rather be dead than live like this.Because I live it every day
- Being Depressed, ideating.Or if not deeply depressed Im thinking about one or the other.Spend maybe 1-2 hours a day on any and all computer stuff.Thats all I can do these daysBrain is broken
- They are warning about a recession depression that they see coming.
- Then before you know it you're in the venus fly trap of depression.
- Life Experience: 40 years of Depression, 2 college degrees-4 years.
- 18 months living in car, no job, depression, suicide, staying tethered.7.
- So my Sunday is sitting alone in the basement with a new mindfuck and triggered into my depression.
- —Up awake.Depression and IdeationFull strength because Im going no where fast.
- Im punishing myself because I FUCKING DESERVE IT.Im a worthless loser.
- ok, stuff to do and I'm depressed
- Just up from nap.Not anxious anymore, now feeling the depression :-(
- Depression and isolation are hereGoing to go walkHowever, nothing changes except what time it isHaving zero social life for 4 months now.
- Doc is still straightforwardBut i feel far more organized with the numbersThat will help Elizabeth because I know she hates math and numbers and banks
- Feeling depression creeping back up.Went for a walk.No helpOverthinking, anxious, and stuck inside an endlessly lonely existence.Since the new year ive been to one coffee shop.
- Like i dont exist.Ive lost the whining and crying about depression it seems.
- And staying in the depression because there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to see.Im at the giving up stage of this "dip"Once the car is taken, that may be it for me
- Granted it's been a very heavy period of depression for me leaving California.
- Im still numb.
- —Life is largely empty.
- super empty
- the void
- I had it all set up with an account number and a routing number.
- Is it better to do it by card or by the account numbers
- simliar to how depression can have different expressions everyday.If you've had it long enough, you know.
- Its acting against my depression and getting small.
- I feel physical pain all day, but I'm numb to it, like a radio playing in the background of your kitchen
- —Everything feels wrongFeels like I woke up in an alternate realityIncredibly depressing
- its like the depressionno escape
- Depression, while not crushing at the moment, is still here.
- Especially already being deep in complex trauma, and dealing with major depressive disorder.
- And the depression is literally right behind me all day — EVERY day.I can feel its energy and presence.If I turn towards it, it can consume me like fire to paper.
- when the baristas at the coffee shop comment that I'm here more than them, its sadly trueanyhow, wallowing in self pitygoing to go distract and numb myself with more work.
- —Depressions kicking my ass right now.
- Picking up where I left off yesterday.Headache, bodyaches, and generally depressed.Looking forward to driving - not
- VERY ANGRYVERY DEPRESSEDJust fed up with this existence
- Just want to stare at the wall or floor.For whatever reason my depression decided to show up with a fucking fury and vengeance today.Not sure if I've ever felt it quite this strong.
- for whatever reason the depression is in the house.
- I move depressingly slow.Just the way it is.Wondering if I can get labeled as a disability with state and fed?Its certainly in my way
- Depression takes motivation away
- Bullshit things of depression that I love in my life
- Got meds.Feel numb to outside world.Dissociated and angry
- my depression makes it hard to make decisions, see the big picture, and basically do anything
- So when I was in there on a subconscious level I literally wasn't good enough to be depressed and be in there That's how the thinking would go.
- And, ponder for a moment that my masking fooled other depressed people as it did the nurses and doctors.
- I'm in a constant state of either anxiety or depression it's as if I have a light switch and those are the two options For my brain to operate in
- I'm either depressed and just totally sad about life, or I'm worried and anxious and beating myself up because I feel the core belief of being a loser
- Going to ask counselor at morning session tomorrow about getting an official disability label for my depressionit clearly inhibits my ability to function "normally" and plug-in to society
- So I'm asking what percentage of my life was I homeless and sleeping in a car.When it spit back this number it was actually way more than I thought, maybe 5xThat would be approximately 2.68%.
- GMNot in a good headspaceFeel worthless and a resource suckDont want to be alive right now.
- Awake for 2 hours so far and still fighting depression resistance to doing anything productive.Im just tired of this life Im inside of now.
- Now i go spend the day in my head, in my hall of mental mirrors, stressed, worried, anxious, fearful, sad, lonely, discouraged, and depressed.
- They mention experiencing depression constantly for the past eight or nine years, often in a cyclical nature.
- They also describe falling into a deep depression after feeling lost.Anxiety and Stress: The person frequently expresses feelings of stress and anxiety.
- The feeling of being alone is described as "normal".Worthlessness and Shame: The person expresses a "level of worthlessness" that is "pretty large".
- sad realization hit me day before yesterdayI may never know what it feels like to not be anxious, depressed or some combination thereof.Literally made me instantly cry and lose my breath.
- Have done zero productive things.Pushing against depressive inertia, just to get to a point of starting the day, is exhausting.Ready for a break when I arrive there
- I dont have any aspirations or goals, just sadness and a broken, empty, and frustrated heart and soul.Dr.
- --Cousin Jason is suffering hard from depression right now.
- —Having zero social life works wonders for my depression.The more Im not around people, the deeper the hole.At a point where I simply dont care I want to end me.
- I don't wanna be depressed anymore I'm all filled up here
- Not only do I have depression but I have a mind that won't shut the fuck up and leave me alone.
- —GmHope ur feeling better.About to go thru motions.Coffee, job hunting, and pushing thru another day depressed.
- Deep and dark depression is here.
- Yeah I know I've had irregular sleep patterns and it definitely contributes to the easiness with which depression will come on.Bad sleep equals leaving the barn door open
- just got nailed with the first wave of depression.
- your moms.Every friday I have this lonliness boulder that falls out of the sky and makes me super depressed because I have no friends of my own here.
- Wait until Monday Markets open.If another 2k points go away and we'll likely be in a depression.
- If the S+P 500 fall more than 4% Monday, it will be the worst 3 day loss since the great depression.Happy Days are here again!
- I wrote this in hte email but cut it out-Sadly, I'm still in my depression.
- I am on 2 top depression meds, at maximum dosages for 3 months now.
- No drinking or drugging to numb and still no relief.
- Last Monday it had me in bed for entire day — first time depression has ever kept me in bed all day, and slept right through all of it.
- I mean the raw, bleeding kind of strength it takes to still be here, typing these words, refusing to numb out completely.
- Depression clouds are here today.
- Think im simply going to stop feeling, and just go full numb.How else to keep up appearances?God forbid I let anyone down!!
- I really would prefer to numb out all night, but that's not possible either.
- Convinced I'll never escape depression.Fucking thing has already taken my life and everything I love away from me.Staying in bed this weekend.Weather is too nice and im too depressed.
- Tempted to stay in bed all day and not risk getting hit with depression stick
- Another day of fucking misery and depresssion todayIm sooooooo excited!!!!!
- Maybe the meds are numbing me out enuf.
- Went from feeling nothing for first 3 hrs staring at phone to darkness now.Now to do taxes and be depressed about no money, no independence, no friends, no work,NO FUCKING LIFE!
- Literally first relaxed non depressed morning since being here.And this is what the universe serves up
- And for doctors practicing medicine in the depression field it may provide insight.
- How depressed can we go??
- GMWhen u can look at numbers, let me know
- When not depressed, its my new jam and sucks.
- We dont want you, you're not needed."Been hearing that for 2 years straight, with depressions deep rejection on top.I get it.
- Going to take a nap and pass some of this depression away hopefully.
- Just awake.Deciding if I want to even get out of bed today.I may sleepNo reason in getting up other than feeling like shit all day.DepressedDiscouagedAnd Alone Day number, i lost count
- I had a flashback to being homeless and really feeling those emotions again from a different place where I'm not so dissociated and numbed out because it fucking hurts so much
- —Excited, and at the same time can I handle not being depressed if its the only baseline I've known?Is the potential baseline what I currently feel as ecstatic joy?The highs can be higher??if so...
- So I would have to explain I have a father whose been depressed and sick for many years.
- Bad depression day
- feeling empty and lost.
- Incredibly depressing to realize Ive lived my whole life afraid of existing and depressedI'm fed up with human consciousness.
- Its depression saying fuck you to me per usual.Just back from therapy session too.
- Depression says fuck you.
- —Wave of depression moving in very hard right now
- Im feeling numb to this existence.Have for a long LONG time.Basically because nothing makes me feel alive, its either numb, tired, or mentally self induced misery
- This simply breaks my heart moreFeel more deeply depressed thinking about all the joy I missed out on
- Just awake and deciding if Im staying in bed all day.Too depressed to be awake.
- Not awake 10mins and already here cuz its how I am when I sleep, depressed.
- Have spent today staring at the floor.Deeply depressed, hard, all day.I want to get away from it, but its in my head, no escape.Hate being conscious
- And here for another day of feeling stuck and depressed.Incredibly motivating, that is.
- Im so tired of depression and feeling this way.
- Hopelessness is high now having to answer brothers textsThose are triggering to read
- —An hour ago I was ready to go.Now totally unmotivated and depressed.
- Spend probably an hour a day on average mind numbingly staring at the floor.
- btw — you can see from my brothers texts this morning, that despite having clinicaly anxiety and OCD, hes in the dark about depression.
- They have holes in their lives that hurt too much to walk around with every day, so you fill in with something that will numb you out from it.
- I feel nothing this morning— just numb to everything
- __Wondering now why I am even bothering doing this.I wont be deeply depressed — but living a completely depressing lifeShould have thought more about getting treatment
- I wonder...it may be that I need more that 6 of thesesimply because of two thingsDepthandDurationMy most recent depressive episode goes back a MINIMUM of 7 years—2018, maybe before.
- No job, no friends, no social life, just depression, and more depression.
- my brain and body are exhauseted from fighting against my depression in order to keep me here.IT doesnt hit you until you let go of trying.
- today is second day after treatmentso likely going to be a depressed dayrain helps push it that way
- I was depressed, lonely and alone.
- I'm going to be right here at the end of summer.that is so incredibly depressing
- still have depressive thinkingBeen in it for over 5 years.A few weeks of medicine helps a little.But I am MILES AND MILES away from being free of itTruly sucks
- Wasted energy.Thinking about a future that doesn't exist is also wasted energy.Have no motivation for anything, not even youtube videos.I'd rather be alone stare at the wall and be numb.
- Who the fuck knows?I'm stuck in depression.Acceptance has work now.I've fought depression tel:247365.
- Thought.Being alive in my life aggravates depression.
- Going in bigtime depressed and coming out feeling numb
- —The clearer I see things the more depressed I get
- I can tell shes had her fill of my presence.Its ALOT of sad, depressed energy.
- Lived from 23-55 stuck in a Quasi—BPD, CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression Cocoon.makes you wonder about "WTF do I do now?"
- Ironically depressing, go figure
- Just left emptyhabded
- Leaving coffee shop3 hrs of public exposure is all I got todayFeeling depressed from going/being out.The summertime "everyone else gets to enjoy summer" but u vibe.
- It no longer lives or sustains inside me.One of the parting gifts of depression — unattainable happiness
- no remorse, cuz universe has been un-fucking-relenting.I'll deliver what I recived Mind numbing uncertainty, and pain that begins in bone marrow.
- Have lived 9 months of exactly this.It simply helps keep depression alive and "around"
- Anxiety has been dominating me since depression is backstage.The worry of too late/too long is non-stop.
- Just back from the market.Its very sad.So many depressed ppl.
- Have to stop before i go down depression hole for the day.
- Just being there is depressing, literally.
- IF ITS A NO GO:Likely rent an SUV, load all my stuff here and depart.I could leave hear as early as next Tuesday or Wednesday.I'll figure out my depression in NY.
- The letting go invites depression in for me
- —Depression is amping up big.Working it as best I can.
- Worthlessness is supreme today.Hardest thing to shake cuz I can point to data backing it up
- Depression2.
- Dude.Im upsetIts likely site was down when I interviewed.I have other applications I spent time on that are now WORTHLESS
- Honestly NOT looking forward to it.Already feel the depression waiting to surge, and expect I'll shutdown, or simply concede defeat.
- How the fuck is my depression about him?Haven't been here 48 hours and I've already had a full trip around the disco ball
- To watch someone face that and not take concrete action.Depression takes away ur will for anything.
- My father mocking me when I share I'm feeling depressed is EXACTLY why I don't want to be here.Vccu mail can toss.Bryant circle tooThe DMV is looking for $400 for registration.
- Depleted and Depressed.
- Dependable money source to get out of here.Waterford inspires my depressionIt feeds off this placeIts where all my esrly trauma was lived.
- Too fucking tired from pushing against depression to make my life situation any different.
- I'm sick of thinking, feeling, and being like this — depressed and its variations"Every day is exactly the same" vibes
- -Worthless is vibe of the day
- When ur not well, and depressions ur thing, getting help is the last thing on ur list.
- -Im so fucking depressed 😢
- GaStill in bed at 12:30pmEasier to sleep thru days here, than to be awake and constantly depressedMy body keeps falling asleep so it needs itHope u have a good dayLater
- Everyone here wants to care but CLUELESS how to interact with a severely depressed person.They're experts at what NOT to do or say to the depressed."Cheer up" kinda bullshit